Of Cabbages & Kings
by Cybertoy00
Summary: A Titan Legends fic. Raven knows plenty of magic- but not enough. There are forces out in the world, and the Titans won't be able to survive- not without help. A stranger moves, and Raven finds herself learning more than she ever wanted to know...
1. Student 1

Of Cabbages & Kings

"Life is a series of rude awakenings." –Rip Van Winkle

Part 1: Student

_Darkness._

_Darkness as far as the eye can see._

_That is what Raven saw._

**Hello, hello, hello.**

_Then the floor she was standing on began to glow, and Raven realized that she was not standing on a floor, but a massive glass mural. One that looked exactly like the picture Malchior the dragon had shown her in the tome he was trapped in._

**So much to do, and so little time. Or is it the other way around?**

_Raven's eyes darted around, as she tried to find a mouth to go with the mysterious voice._

**Or Maybe we have just enough time for what matters.**

_Raven called out to the voice that came from everywhere and nowhere, "Who are you? Where are you? _What _are you?"_

**All good questions. But sadly, I doubt you'll be happy with my answers.**

"_Try me."_

**Very well, but don't say I didn't warn you. I am he who is using your dreams to contact you. I am anywhere but here in your mind. As for the last one, I'm afraid there has been some debate on that question.**

_Raven grimaced. "You're right, I'm not happy with those answers."_

**I did warn you.**

_Raven sat down cross-legged on the mural-floor, deciding it was pointless to stand._

"_What do you want?" She asked. She was so determined on the voice that she did not notice the creature looming from behind until she felt its warm breath on her neck. Raven managed to roll away just time to avoid a bite on her shoulder blade. She began to recite a well-known magic phrase. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" A blurry beam of dark energy poured from her hands, and ultimately blew the beast out of sight._

**You're good…**

_Raven relaxed…and in that moment of relaxation _another_ beast leapt out from behind her, and the resulting impact sent her reeling._

**But not good enough. You have the power, but little experience.**

_It wasn't easy to fight a strange monster and have a conversation, but Raven managed. "If you knew what I've been through…" she began, but was cut off._

**I do know what you've been through. Monsters, various types of villainy, and the occasional wannabe god. But it's not enough.**

_Raven suddenly realized she was in a ring of various monsters, each one more loathsome then the next._

**No, not nearly enough…**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In a T-shaped tower off the coast of a place called Jump City lived a group of young heroes called the Teen Titans. Heck, you probably know who the Teen Titans are by now, so I'll just skip the introductions. Now where was I? Oh! Yes!

Somewhere around noon-ish, the most mysterious Titan, the half-demon, half-human Raven woke up from her most peculiar dream. After getting out of bed, which was proved to be a little difficult, considering how tangled up in the sheets she was, Raven stumbled to the door leading outside her bedroom. She opened it up... And received several bonks on the head, thanks to Garfield Logan, better known as the changling Beast Boy, who was looking in another direction. Although Raven was too tired to notice the pounding she was getting, Beast Boy noticed that Raven's door sounded different and shrieked when he realized that that wasn't Raven's door, but Raven herself!

"Aaauugghh! I'm sorry, please don't hurt me!" Beast Boy braced himself, as the purple-haired Titan had become quite temperamental in the past few days, and prepared the best he could for a punishment… That never came. Beast Boy cracked open one of his eyes, and saw that Raven hadn't budged an inch, or given any other sign of noticing the changelings mistake. She merely stared, a blank look in her eyes.

"What?" Raven asked, as she finally came back to reality (Well, not our reality, but the Titans' reality…you know what I'm talking about!). Beast Boy relaxed, when he realized no pain would come. Pointing down the hall, he said, "Lunch is ready." When he received no reply, Beast Boy tried again. "Raven?"

"I'm not hungry." Raven answered, as she began to sink into the shadows, her own way of teleporting. Effectively weirded out, Gar went to the main room in Titans Tower.(You know, it's the one the Titans are always hanging out in.) There, we meet the other members of the Teen Titans.

Timothy Drake, better known as the boy wonder Robin, looked up from the newspaper he was reading, "Well?" Gar shrugged, and replied, "She's not hungry." We go to the Tamaranian, Koriand'r, or Kory Anders, better known outside as Starfire. The ET heroin was busy making some sort of Tamaranian meal, if you call it that…truth be told, Tamaranian cooking was not for the faint of heart, or weak of stomach, if you get my drift.

"Again?" Kory asked, looking up from her…whatever she's making. "How is that possible? This is the third time! I fear Raven may suffer from lack of nourishment if she does not eat something!" Victor Stone, the half man, half machine Cyborg, looked up from the bowl of cereal he was eating. "I wonder what kinda dreams Ray's had to scare her into fasting."

Tim was about to answer when his communicator started beeping. Tim flipped it on, and only glanced at it to know what that meant.

"Trouble!"

As the other Titans ran out the door, only Kory stayed behind, a look of worry on her face. "Should we not alert Raven as well?" The alien asked, her expression symbolizing a battle between duty and manners. Robin poked his head in, looking all business.

"Raven doesn't need this kind of headache, we'll be fine without her. C'mon!"

Still looking worried, Starfire flew out the room.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven, unaware that her friends were out saving the day(or so you think…ha ha ha…), wandered about the forest that, if you were to climb to the top of the tallest tree, overlooked Jump City and Titans Tower. Eventually she came to the burned-to-the-ground area where she and the rest of the Titans battled Thunder and Lightning, as well as Slade's fire monster. It was odd that nothing had grown since, and odder still was how Slade how created that beast to begin with.

Sitting on a lone stump, Raven began to think.

What did she think about, you ask?

She thought about her friends.

She thought about all the things they had been through.

She thought about all the people, friend or foe, they had met.

She thought about her boyfriend, Noel 'Savior' Collins.

She thought about how pretentious his super-alias was.

She thought about her dreams, and how they were affecting her so.

She thought about whether she should go get some lunch.

She thought about her dreams again.

She puzzled, and puzzled, until her puzzler was sore. And let me tell you, a sore puzzler is nothing to kid about when you're half-demon.

She was thinking about her sore puzzler when Raven felt a strange burst of power, like someone had lit a bonfire of pure magic. Without a second thought Raven ran off, intending to find the source of the magic boom. After about ten minutes, Raven came across where the magical power-burst had erupted, and what a sight she saw!

It was a pyramid. That's right, a pyramid. Raven stared at the Egyptian building, regarding it cautiously. After all, there had never been a pyramid near Jump City before! …Or had there? As Raven slowly walked towards the marvel, she noticed that there was an entrance, and in front of that entrance, just a little to the right, was a mailbox. When Raven got closer, she read a name painted on the side of said mailbox.

DJINITO

Raven stared at the name. It seemed familiar, like something out of a story she was told during her childhood on her home world of Azarath. Throwing caution to the winds(A rare occasion, as Raven was one of the most careful member of the team, rivaled, perhaps, by Savior and Robin.), Raven entered the pyramid.

Into the darkness…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

While Raven entered what we're going to call the Djinito Pyramid, the rest of the Titans had a bit of a situation on their hands. At a first glance it would seem that a bunch of robots, clanky and skeletal-looking, were attacking. At a second glance it would seem that the Teen Titans, minus Raven, were handling the attack with their usual flare. But if you were to stick around to watch the fight more closely, you would realize that no matter how many robots the Titans smashed, blew up, or just plain broke, there would always at least a dozen left.

Robin wiped his brow of the sweat that had accumulated during the battle. Beast Boy ran up to him, clearly vexed, and cried, "Dude! How many off these things are there!"

Robin didn't have an answer, but he shared Beast Boy's sentiments. It seemed like that some indescribable force had decided to send more and more robots, just to keep the fight going.

The boy, er, teen wonder sighed. "I don't know, Beast Boy, I just don't know."

Robin and Beast Boy paused in their conversation to watch the fantastic fireworks display that happened when a bunch of robots dog piled Starfire. The resulting Starbolt blast not only lit up the skies(Which were getting pretty cloudy, by the way,), but several robot parts rained down, the force of gravity taking charge. Despite that sudden burst of power, Robin knew Starfire was starting to tire. The same could be said for the rest of them. Robin pulled out his Titans communicator and began punching commands into it.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven had been walking for ten minutes down a corridor in the mysterious pyramid, and was starting to get bored. She was beginning to think about turning back, or calling her friends, when she came to a single door. Raven reached out to open, but stopped.

_What am I doing? _She thought to herself, _This could be a trap…_ When 'trap' entered her mind, Raven jerked away from the door. What if this _was _a trap? Come to think of it, this situation reeked of one person.

Slade, A.K.A, Deathstroke, the Terminator.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'How could Slade put a pyramid in the middle of the forest without anyone noticing?' Bear with me, folks, not all is as it seems. Now where was I? Oh yeah!

Raven, deciding to throw caution to the winds(Not that there were any winds), opened the door and found herself in…_an empty room!_

Empty by what manner, you wonder? Simple, it was blank. No furniture, no wallpaper, nothing. Just a room…similar to the one Raven's future self lived in, according to Starfire's recap of her trip to the future with Warp. Raven, for was not only disappointed, but frightened. Was this the fate that awaited her? It was then that she noticed a strange drawing on the left wall. It was a square, with a pentagram in a circle in the center. On the top left corner of the box was a Yin-Yang symbol, on the bottom left was a red heart in a circle, on the bottom right was a peace symbol, and on the top right was a yellow smiley face. Raven stared at it, trying to ponder its meaning. Out loud, the half-demon murmured, "What are you up to Slade…?"

**Slade? Did you say my name is Slade?**

Raven gave a start. It was that voice from her dreams! Taking deep, but subtle breathes, Raven tried to remain calm, and answered back.

"If the mask fits…" She began, but was cut off by the voice that came from everywhere and nowhere.

**Young lady, I most certainly am not a mercenary with a vendetta against your team, nor am I Brother Blood.**

Raven grimaced. How did he know that was her next guess?

**Could Brother Blood establish mental communication _and_ construct this illusion? I think not.**

As these next words were spoken, the pyramid vanished, leaving Raven outside in the open. Raven wondered whether her experience was but a dream, but knew in her heart that it had happened.

_Beep beep beep!_

Raven jumped, but realized that it was just her Titans' communicator ringing. She answered it, hoping it was something to get her mind off whatever was happening to her. Robin's bedraggled face filled the T-Com's screen, with the look of someone who fought a hundred battles in an hour.

"Robin?" Asked Raven, not liking what she was seeing. In the back of her mind alarms were going off.

"Raven… Need help… come quickly…" Robin was suddenly yanked out of view, and the transmission shut off.

"Robin? Robin!" Raven shut off her T-Com and then teleported herself to Jump City, the alarms in her mind growing louder.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven appeared on the street that led to the Titans' favorite pizzeria. The situation did not look good. The street was almost deserted, with wrecked robot parts strewn all over the place. And what was even worse was that her teammates, _her friends_, were nowhere to be seen.

"No…" Raven began, "NOOOOO!" This cry was a mix of anguish, anger, and sadness, and caused a fire hydrant nearby to explode.

**You may want to see someone about those tantrums.**

Raven's eyes popped wide open. It was that voice again! That clenched it. Raven turned her gaze skyward and hollered, "You! Where are my friends!"

**With me.**

Raven's eyes narrowed. "Where are you?" Her voice was laced with pure venom.

**I can't tell you. You'll have to figure it out yourself, and I'm quite sure you're capable of that.**

Raven felt an all-too familiar feeling rise up within her. The feeling of her demon-self, Trigon's daughter, trying to take control. Raven quickly forced herself to calm down, not wanting another crisis to deal with.

**Still afraid ofwhat you are? My dear girl, never by scared of yourself.**

Raven tried to glare at the voice, but without a face to look at, it was pointless. "Who says I'm afraid of myself?"

**Your past and memories. But enough about yourself, I'm certain you want to find your friends.**

Raven nodded.

**Good. It's nice to know where your loyalties lie. Start your journey where a team divided was nearly conquered, that's where it truly began…**

Raven's eyes narrowed even more. Wherever her friends, her fellow Titans were, she would find them. She was determined to, and a determined half-demon was nothing to kid about.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

This is the first chapter in a series of strange and ususual adventures the Titans will end up in. Although it is started after Wings Of Eagles,it takes place 33 days exactly after Legend Maker's DP/TT crossover, Danny's Inferno. After this particular saga is done, the timeline will up to the present. This is my first major story, and the very first one starring the Teen Titans. Just so you know, I may take some liberties with fan characters in Legend Maker's series', but don't worry about it...for now.


	2. Learning 2

Of Cabbages & Kings

"Things are not always as they seem." –Mandrake

Part 2: Learning

Four of the Teen Titans, namely Robin, Cyborg, Starfire and Beast Boy, awoke to find themselves in a dizzy heap within a rather empty room. None of them knew where they were, and how they got there. After taking a few minutes to untangle themselves from the dizzy they awoke in, the Titans minus one tried to figure out what was going on.

During their fight with the never-ending supply of robots, Robin attempted to contact Raven, only to end up as the first to be captured by one of the robots. Soon after that, Beast Boy went down, and then Cyborg, and finally Starfire, who put up the hardest fight. Then they woke up in…wherever they were.

The four Titans were trying to work out what was going on when a door, almost invisible to all, opened up on one of the walls. The Titans stared at it.

"Um, where did that come from?" Beast Boy asked to no one in particular. Robin looked not only confused, but determined, a feat which made his facial expression look something weird. "I don't know, but it's our only way of getting out here." Robin, being the take-charge guy he is, made his way towards the door. The other Titans looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him out the doorway.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven arrived at the factory where one of the team's earliest battles, before Savior joined, took place.

Djinito, the being responsible for kidnapping her friends, had told her to go to the place where a divided team was nearly conquered, and her first thought was this factory, and the story it represented.

Cinderblock, a rock-monster of a menace, once broke into the Jump City prison, hoping to bust out one of the criminals. The Titans tried to stop him, but Robin and Cyborg's "Sonic Boom" move backfired, allowing Cinderblock enough time to abduct the man who, when awake, became the monster Plasmus. Although none of the other inmates had escaped, Cinderblock still got away. Robin and Cyborg got into a argument over who's fault it was, an argument which led to Cyborg quitting the Titans. The next day, Plasmus had attacked this very factory, and it was only until Cyborg showed up that the Titans were able to capture him.

The Titans didn't know it at first, but this was the first part in one of Slade's masterminded plots. Raven came here, because it this whole scenario was very much like one of Slade's. A mysterious being, cryptic clues needed to be unraveled, the full package. Raven didn't know why Djinito was doing this, but after she found her friends, that would be on the top of her to-do list.

Raven looked around the factory, searching for…something that shouldn't be here. Something out of place. Unique. Raven spent fifteen minutes looking, but to no avail.

Then, when she had lost all hope, she found it. It was a poster, advertising a rave that was being held in an abandoned warehouse. Party at a warehouse? That sounded familiar. Raven checked the date on the poster. According to the poster's date, the rave had been held some time ago. Raven flipped the poster over and on the back the following message was hastily scribbled.

1St PoSiTiOn:

BaCkWaRd Z

_Backward Z? what's that supposed to mean? _Raven couldn't figure out what this bizarre message meant, but she had a pretty good idea where to go from here.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The Titans had been walking down a dark, mysterious hallway for about fifteen minutes. At least, it was dark and mysterious, but soon it brightened up and the four Titans could see the old movie posters that dotted the wall.

Cyborg remarked, "Well, at least we can where we're going, now."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven arrived at the warehouse where the rave had been, and upon entry thought about how Blackfire nearly had Starfire arrested for crimes she had committed. At first, it was easy to like Starfire's older sister, her being cool, confident, and sure of herself, and Raven had been impressed by the dark poetry Blackfire knew. But it soon became clear that Blackfire was stuck-up, and quick to lord over others, her younger sister included. When the Centari Police arrested the Tamaranian, Blackfire swore revenge, which she nearly got, had Starfire not been stronger than one would expect(See Legend-Maker's Black and White, and TT ep _Betrouthed_ for more details).

A slight noise shook Raven out of her fit of nostalgia , and upon inspection of the source, found it was a small monkey. The monkey shrieked and zipped off, dropping an item on the floor. Raven normally could have used her powers to catch the monkey, but due to certain laws against animal cruelty, she instead picked up the item the simian left behind. It was a robotic device, similar, if she remembered correctly, to the ones Fixit had. Hastily scrawled on the machine was the following:

**4TH PoSiTiOn:**

**A rOmAn ThOuSaNd**

Raven didn't know what this meant,( although she had a shrewd idea…) but she did know where to go from here. The half-demon just hoped her friends weren't in any danger…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The four Titans arrived at the end of the seemingly endless hallway, all suffering from footache. Well, Robin, Beast Boy and Cyborg were suffering from aching feet, Starfire opted to float somewhere down the way. In front of them was a normal-looking doorway, with a not-so-normal sign tacked up on it. The symbol, if one could call it that, was identical to the one Raven saw in the Djinito Pyramid, although the four Titans didn't know that.

"Well," Robin said grimly, "Here we are."

"Yes… But where are we?" Starfire asked, nerviously. She seemed more unsure of herself then she had ever been during her first few months on Earth, and for good reason. During the walk down the hallway, the four Titans passed by a singing tiki.

Robin said, "I wish I knew, Kory, I wish I knew."

Beast Boy pressed one of his ears, which he morphed into an elephant's, against the door and said, "Hey, there's someone on the other side!"

Robin looked determined, and pulled out a Birdarang as he reached for the doorknob."Alright, everyone get ready. We have no idea what's on the other side and no idea what to expect."

In answer to his request, Starfire prepared her starbolts, Cyborg activated his Sonic Cannon, and Beast Boy crouched down the way a predator would. Robin flung open the door…

…And what they saw really took them by surprise.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Fixit was, by no means, a people person.

This was due to the bio-cybertronic, implants he acquired some time ago. And somewhere along the line Fixit decided to "upgrade" so much that he lost most of his humanity. And he would have done the same to Cyborg, if he had not seen the real world through Cyborg's eyes.

Fixit was busy repairing one of his little robot things(What else am I supposed to call them?) when he heard the sound of footsteps. Fixit, who assumed it was Cyborg who needed his help with some dilemma, was surprised to see it was Raven.

"May I help you?" Fixit asked the demonic Titan. He noticed she seemed to be carrying something…

"Cyborg and the rest of the Titans core have been kidnapped. While searching for them, I found one of your robots."

Fixit nodded, and answered, in his blank way, "That one vanished a few weeks ago," -_A few weeks…the same time I started having those dreams… _Raven thought.- "It was also the same time that this graffiti appeared." This last part snapped Raven out of her musings. She looked where Fixit had guestered, and saw, hastily written and poorly spelled, the following:

**LAST/6TH POSITION: THE END OF TIME, THE END OF SPACE**

**3RD POSITION: UPSIDE DOWN 7**

Raven stared at the graffiti, memorizing it. Fixit, even with his lack of emotions, was slightly disturbed by her apparent fascination. He asked, "Is something wrong?" Raven did not answer, but shrank into the shadows, disappearing from sight. Fixit stared at where she had been, and without another word, went back to work, feeling miffed. She did even say good-bye…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Starfire asked her host, "When will you let us go?"

"When there are five of you."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven returned to Titans Tower with the feeling of failure on her shoulders. Where was she to go next? Each clue was confusing and bizarre. And she was no detective. That was Robin's forte'…

For a moment, she considered calling for help. Savior was at a conference in Washington, Gauntlet and Scapel were in Gauntlet's hometown, Uberton, and Terra was visiting a pen pal. Maybe if she called one of them-

_No, _She thought to herself, _I can't. _Djinito, whoever he was, was challenging her and her alone. Raven would have to figure this out for herself. Pushing all thoughts of failure out of her mind, Raven reviewed the clues she had Djinito had left her. Each one spoke of a position, six positions in all. The clues, when deciphered, must spell a specific word. So, getting a piece of paper, Raven jotted down six blank spaces.

Okay, time to decipher the first hint! Raven thought back to the scribbling on the poster in the factory.

1st Position: Backwards Z.

_Okay… a Z turned backwards… _Raven drew a Z, then drew a reversed Z. Raven stared at the twisted letter.

_What does it mean…? AAARRGG! _In desperation, Raven slammed her head against the wall. Ouch! With her vision slightly blurred by the self-inflicted concussion, Raven noticed that her 'backwards Z' looked very much like an S…

_That's it! _Raven's pain and dizziness left her upon this revelation. The first letter was S!

S

Now for the next clue. Raven reviewed the scrawls on Fixit's stolen robot:

4th Position: A Roman Thousand.

This one was easier. A thousand, when written in the Roman numeric system, was a K. So, in theory…

S K

Now for the last two clues. Raven thought back to the graffiti she saw in Fixit's workshop…

6th/Last Position: The end of time, the end of space.

3rd Position: Upside down 7.

The first one was easy. The 6th letter was E, the end of time, and the end of space. Now, figuring out the 3rd letter was a bit of a challenge as the answer wasn't going to be simple.

Or was it?

Raven decided to do what she did when she tackled the first clue. She first wrote the number 7 on a separate piece of paper, then turned it upside-down. The result resembled an L, though slightly tilted.

SLK E

Raven stared at what she had written. The word was not complete. There were still blanks to be filled in. A headache began to form. Not knowing what else to do, our favorite half-demon did what she felt would clear help her mind and solve this problem. She began to meditate.

Closing her eyes, crossing her legs, and hovering ever-so-slightly above the floor, Raven began to chant her mantra of, "Azarath, Mentrion, Zinthos" and opened her mind to the universe…

Or at least, that's what she should have done, if not for the tugging on her cloak. Raven didn't bother to open her eyes. "Not now, Silkie, I'm busy." Raven knew the mutant larva that Starfire cared for missed his Tamaranian owner, and-

_Wait._

_Wait-A-Second._

_Silkie._

_S-I-L-K-I-E._

_1-2-3-4-5-6_

Raven's eyes shot open with enough speed to make the Flash green with envy. She stared at Silkie, who stared back. It all came to her in one startling revelation.

_The word is Silkie._

Raven picked up Silkie, looked him in the eye and asked, "What is it, Silkie?" Silkie wriggled out of her grip and fell to the floor with a _plop._ Then, after getting up, he crawled as fast as his little legs could take him. Raven hovered after the mutant, wondering where he was scurrying off to.

TTTTTTTTTTTT

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of Jump City, there was a sudden flash of color and sound.

_FWAASSHH!_

A figure stood where there had been none. He stared intently at the city before him, and focused on a strange-looking structure… shaped like T.

TTTTTTTTTTTT

Silkie led Raven to the door of her room. She looked down at the larva, who kept nodding his head into her private sanctum. Raven took a deep breath, and opened the door. Her eyes widened.

_HOLY-!_

Raven spent most her time in her room. She knew it very well. And one thing she knew was that a multi-colored vortex floating in front of her bed had certainly _not_ been there before.

_This is it, _She thought, _This where I need to go. _Raven, acting without thinking, which was amazingly uncharacteristic of her, jumped into the vortex in a single bound. A few seconds afterward, the portal shrank into nothingness.

Silkie, who witnessed the event, gurgled.

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OKAY! Sorry it took so long! And sorry if this chapter seemed so boring, but this is more… intellectual. Also, I'm a little miffed that only ONE PERSON REVIEWED. C'mon, people! I won't update until I receive at least 5 more reviews.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Homework 3

Of Cabbages & Kings

"To survive, one must be adept to changing situations." –Tyrannosaurus Rex

Part 3: Homework

Questions.

There are moments in our lives that give us cause to ask questions, like, "Why is the sky blue?" Or, "How does Houdini pull off that famous escape trick of his?"

We ask ourselves these questions, and rarely do we get an acceptable answer.

For Raven, her big question would be, "Why the heck is this room filled with Rainbow Monkeys?"

Raven, who had most recently jumped into a portal that just appeared in her room, was not expecting to wind up in a room jam-packed with plush monkeys, each of a different color. After digging herself out of the pile she appeared in, Raven saw a door with a picture of a yin-yang symbol on the front. Wasting not a minute more, Raven opened the door and went through it. After she shut the door, the Rainbow Monkeys started to sing…

"_Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys…_

_Oh, so very rather super-chunky…"_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

A mysterious figure floated in front of the entrance to Titans Tower. Without a word, the figure waved his staff and the doors opened.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The next room was blank. That is to say, there was nothing in it. Except for two small pictures of a key labeled with an R and a picture of a key labeled with a W, the room was completely devoid of decoration. Raven looked around, and cast out her senses for any tricks and/or traps. She could see nor feel none. Still cautious, she strode over to the door on the other side of the room, the door with a picture of a peace symbol. Testing the doorknob to make sure it wouldn't burn her,(Watch a certain movie starring Macaulay Culkin to understand…) Raven opened the door…

…To reveal another door behind it. Frowning, Raven opened this door to reveal another.

And another.

And another.

And another.

And another…

After fifteen doors, Raven was beginning to get pretty annoyed. There had to be a key to getting through-

That's when she realized. She needed a key…!

Raven quickly looked around the room but found no key. Well, except for the pictures-

_Wait._

Raven went over to the "pictures" and discovered they weren't picures, but framed alcoves!

_Let's see… _Raven thought, _There are two keys… one labeled R, and one labeled W. I bet the one labeled R is the right one…_

Raven took the R key and put it through the door's keyhole. She turned it, heard a click, and when she opened the door…

A brick wall stood in front of her. There was some writing on it.

**Rong kee, stooped.**

**Ha ha ha!**

Raven felt very annoyed. Fuming, she closed the door, got the W key- The _Wright_ key- and used it. This time, the door revealed a hallway.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The mysterious figure entered Raven's room. Silkie, who was chewing one of Raven's bookends, was confused. This man wasn't Starfire, nor was he any other Titan. Who was he…?

The figure, after examing the area where the portal from the last chapter was, created his own portal and jumped into it…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven stared at the room before her. She simply couldn't believe it. For a moment, she considered banging her head against the wall. You would too if it looked like you were standing on the ceiling of a room, or was she on the floor and the door built on the ceiling…? Raven shook herself out of it. She had to get through. Luckily, she had a plan.

Closing her eyes, Raven began to float. Then, she quickly flipped herself upside down, and, ignoring the rush of blood flowing into her skull, made her way to the door- which had a picture of a heart on the front- and went through it.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The mysterious figure didn't like Rainbow Monkeys anymore then the next mysterious figure, so you can bet the mysterious figure wasn't too happy about winding up in a pile of plushy simians. After digging itself out, the mysterious figure went through the door.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

This next room Raven found herself in looked no stranger then the last one. That is to say, it was devoid of any decoration, except for a tiki resting in one corner, and a bunch of large jigsaw pieces lying on the floor. Where the door should have been was a large frame. Raven needed no more hints on what to do next. She began placing the jigsaws into the frame. It was a little tricky, since the pieces kept falling out now and then, but Raven used her powers to make sure they stayed-

_Her mother._

_A tall, smiling man._

_The taste of a yummy treat._

_Someone yelling._

Raven snapped to attention. What was _that_? A vision of the future? Or a blast from the past? Raven tucked that little vision into a corner in her mind. The puzzle was done anyway. Raven took a step back and reviewed her work.

It was a door.

The vertical jigsaw puzzle, when solved, revealed a door with a yellow smiley face on the front. Raven cautious reached out and touched where the doorknob was. It was real! After opening the picture turned doorway, Raven looked behind her, to make sure she didn't miss anything, and went through it. After she shut the door behind her did the tiki start to sing…

"_Oola waka, oola waka, sumpin' not right/_

_Many wicked icky t'ings gonna happen to-nite…_

_Oola waka, boola waka, gothy girl beware…"_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The mysterious figure paused. Someone was singing about wickets and Goths…

The target was close. Floating into the air, the mysterious figure began to fly down the hall.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven walked down the empty hallway, casually glancing at the posters on the wall.

**Well, well, well! Look who decided to show up!**

Raven chose to ignore the voice. Djinito was just trying to distract her.

**Giving me the silent treatment, huh? Well, I'm sure there'll be plenty to say soon enough.**

Raven picked up speed, walking faster.

**And there _will_ be something to talk about, mark my words.**

Raven fast walk evolved into a slow run. Then a regular run.

**Whoa! Slow down, it'll hurt if you-**

A loud crash echoed throughout the empty hall as Raven slipped on…something, did a double flip in the air, and landed on her head.

**Never mind. Look, I know you're worried about your friends, why else would you put yourself through such mental aggravation? But you won't do anyone any good if you crack yer skull or somethin'.**

Raven picked herself up and steadied herself against the wall, waiting for the world around her to stop spinning. After a few minutes, she was on the move again. Slower, though. After a few minutes of walking, she came upon a set of huge doors, so big that they could would be like doggy doors to Godzilla. Raven stared at the doors. Somewhere in the background a 'Bum, bum, BUM' sounded off.

_Nice touch,_ Thought Raven sardonically. She had seen a lot during her career as a superhero, so the sight of an 'Oh-My-God-That's-One-Huge-Door' didn't really shake her up. Impressive, but not all that jarring. Besides, the purple-haired beauty has other things to do, like saving her teammates!

**Okay, doll, here's the skinny. On the other side of these massive doors(which took me a while to carve, by the way) are your friends. If you can get through, they're all yours.**

Raven looked up at the massive mammoth of a doorway. There were no keyholes, and the doors were shut so tight there was no room for her crawl underneath. Yes, it certainly seems impossible.

Not!

For Raven, it was simple. All she'd have to do is chant her special words…

"_**Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos...**_"

Summon the dark energies coursing through her body and force open those mega-mammoth doors!

_KER-REEEK_

Which she just did.

Carefully, Raven walked through the doors, and down the hallway behind it. After a bit of walking, she came to another door. This one, however, looked surprisingly normal. No gimmicks, not one trace of magic, nothing. Raven reached out to the door, grasped the handle, and flung it open.

Before her stood a massive room, like that of an opera audience chamber, except no rows of seats. In their place were large tables, decked out with every type of edible substance on Earth(and a few that _weren't_ from Earth!). Her friends were there as well, clearly enjoying their meal. Upon noticing Raven's arrival, Starfire flew up to her.

"Raven! I'm so glad you have finally come!" Starfire then pulled Raven into one of her, "Super-hugs", but Raven was too busy trying to sort her thoughts to teleport out of it, or tell Starfire to stop. But Starfire seemed to sense what she was thinking, and released the half-demon. By this time the other Titans had run up to her.

"I'm glad as well, Kory-I mean, what's going on?" Raven wanted explanations, and she wanted them yesterday. Robin was about to give a full account on what happened, but Beast Boy beat him to the punch.

"Okay! After we got by some robots, we ended up in this weird room. Then, we followed this loooooong hallway, filled with all sorts of strange stuff, like this singing tiki, and then we came to this room! We wanted to get out, but Bob was all, 'You can't go until Raven shows up.' To keep us busy, he summoned an arcade, broadway show, and buffet, but we all were to busy waiting for you to really enjoy it!" Beast Boy began to pant, as one normally does when one runs one's mouth off without rest. In any case, Beast Boy's ramblings did little to help Raven understand the situation. But it did bring up another question…

"Bob? Who's Bob?" Raven was beginning to get annoyed.

Robin, seeing the vein on Raven's head(the kind of vein that shows how ticked off someone is), pointed to the stage. "_He's _Bob." Raven looked at where Robin was pointing.

Standing on the stage, in full view of anyone who bothered to look, was a tall, skinny man. He wore a tattered old trench coat that had, although it was in good condition, must have seen better days. His head was covered by a beat-up fedora that looked quite spiffy. His pants appeared to be a simple shade of light blue. It was hard to tell, but the man's shirt might have been red, covered by a black vest. He also wore a tie dotted with smiley-faces, and his gloves were pure white, and his shoes dyed purple. A brown monkey was perched on his shoulder, wearing it's own vest, dotted with peace symbols. But the thing that Raven took note of the most was the man's face. It was oldish, but youngish, as if he wasn't over the hill, but juuust getting there. A wide, wide smile was pasted on his face, the kind of smile a man who isn't all there would have(Just ask the Joker…Muhahahahaha!). His eyes… The man's eyes were filled with multiple lights, each of a different color, as if some was reflecting a light show of a disco ball in his head.

Raven narrowed her own eyes, and walked over to the stage were 'Bob' was. Standing right in front of him- Er, actually, she was more below him, as he was on the stage and she on the floor. Anyway, she levitated herself onto the stage, now at 'Bob's' level.

'Bob' smiled pleasantly(Of course, he was already smiling…). "Yyyeeees?"

Raven glared at him even more. "So. You're him. You're Djinitio."

Bob, now known as Djinito, morphed his smile into a smirk. "Ya think so?" He asked, haughtily.

"I _know_ so, 'Bob'."

If Djinito's smile got any broader, it would slip off his face. Laughing, Djinito began to clap, applauding Raven. "Very good. Very, very good! But allow me to formally introduce myself. Robert Ziegfried Djinito III Esq., at your service." Djinito paused, thinking slightly. "But you can call me Bob."

Raven stared at the strange man that stood before her. This was nothing like she had expected. Being an empath, she could sense emotions, and if Djinito was planning something nasty, she could tell. But she couldn't sense anything of the sort! What Raven did notice was that the monkey on Bob's shoulder was flicking his master's ear.

"Ow! Oh, and this is my faithful, furry companion, Elmo." Bob said, wincing at the slight pain one would feel if one's ear was flicked by a monkey.

The monkey, Elmo, hopped down from Bob's shoulder before Raven, bowed, and did a little jig before leaping back up next to Bob's head. Raven heard a giggle from behind her. She turned her head to see the rest of the Titans core on the stage with her. That brought back the question she had been saving for Bob since the beginning of all this madness.

"Why?" She asked him, "Why did you enter my dreams?" Bob's omnipresent smile began to look more and more harmless. He answered back, "To talk to you, to meet you."

Raven had not been expecting that. But then again, she should have. "So that's why you did it. To meet me."

"Well, I sure as heck couldn't have walked up to your doorstep, rang the bell, and said, 'Hey there, name's Bob Djinito, Great Magician, at your service, wanna chat?' could I?" Bob cried defensively, "I figured there had to be circumstances!" Raven shook her head. Bob continued. "So I sent you several telepathic messages via your dreams, that's where a mortal is most open to the unknown, and nabbed your friends to give you some incentive."

This brought up another question, which Robin asked. "How did you kidnapped us, anyway?"

"Ahh! A very good question! One that deserves a very good answer!" Bob snapped his fingers(Raven couldn't help but notice Elmo imitating his movements) and a chalkboard wheeled in from behind the curtain. Bob whipped out a piece of chalk and began scribbling on the aforementioned board. "First, I knew that Raven needed to be occupied if I were to capture just you four, so I set up a highly complex pyramid illusion deep in the forest beyond Jump City." Bob scribbled a triangle, supposedly a pyramid. "While she was busy with that I created the illusion that robots were attacking the city, in order to draw you out-"

"The robots!" Cyborg cried suddenly, interrupting Bob, "They were illusions?"

Bob nodded.

Starfire spoke up, "But if the robots were not truly there, how is it we could affect them?"

Bob grinned maniacally and proudly, "My illusions are _very_ realistic. If you were to return to that spot now, you would find no hint that such an event happened- Aside from the damage you guys yourselves caused. Anyway, as I was saying, after getting you youngsters to the 'battle', all I had to do was keep the illusion going long enough to tire you out, and then have some real robots bring you here."

"And where's 'here'?" Robin asked. The rest of the Titans core looked at Bob.

The wacky Magician shrugged, then said, "We're in my mansion." To Bob, this sounded like a perfect explanation. Of course, this brought up another question.

"Okay…which is where?" Asked Beast Boy. Bob looked thoughtful.

"Hmmm… Where is it? That's hard to explain…" Bob shrugged again, "Well… It _used _to be an empty void I won from a guy named Mxyzptlk, and began filling it up with various things until…" Bob waved his arms around to in order to illustrate the point, whatever it may be. He then noticed the utterly baffled expressions on the Titans' faces. "Let's just say it's neither here nor there."

Bob would've said more, but Raven held up her hand. _She_ had something to say. "Let me get this straight, "Raven said, "You invaded my dreams, kidnapped my friends, made me run around town, tossed me in a room full of Rainbow Monkeys… just so we could _talk?_"

If Bob's smile was any brighter, it would be its own sun.

"Yup!" Bob paused, checking a pocket watch he pulled from his trench coat pocket. "But we're gonna have to put our discussion on hold."

Raven blinked. Ever have one of those days where nothing makes sense? This was one of those days for her. "What? Why?"

It was at that moment the bigger-than-life doors were flung open by a force one could only describe as 'evil'. Bob pointed to the doors and said, "That's why."

Walking slowly through the doors of hugeness was a man…was it? It was hard to tell, as the mysterious figure(Yes, it's that guy) wore what may have been a cross between Grecian armor and the outfit a Predator wears. The figures face was hidden behind what could have been a duplicate of Majora's Mask. Not an exact copy, but a pretty good one. The figure, in his/her right hand, clutched a tall gnarled-looking staff, topped of by a Blue Cone.

"Bob," The figure said(Judging from the voice, we'll say it's a he), "I've found you at last!" Bob didn't look intimidated. Instead, he cautiously pulled out from behind his back an umbrella, of all things, and held it in what may have been a defensive position. Raven also noticed Bob's smile becoming somewhat crazy.

"So," Bob said, "Gorac, still plotting domination of all the realities?"

The Titans Core straightened up when they heard _that_. Gorac smirked, even though no one could tell.

"Of course! After I smite you, that's my next challenge!" Gorac took a step forward, Bob a step back.

The two beings stared at and into each other…

The theme from The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly began to play from somewhere…

This ended when a Robin whistled, getting the two beings of unusual powers' attention.

"Mind telling me what you meant by 'domination'?" Robin asked, addressing Gorac. The masked villain sneered, even though no one could tell.

He said nastily, "What's it to you, boy? I simply plan on killing anyone who doesn't agree to follow me."

Robin nodded, and subtly pulled a birdarang out of his utility belt.

_Just what we needed,_ He thought. Robin then said, "I thought so. TITANS, GO!"

With that all to familiar battle-cry, the Titans charged, and since Bob was right in front of them, he and Elmo(who was clinging to Bob's shoulder) got pushed into the charge as well.

You'd think the concept of being assaulted by a group of young heroes and a Magician would be more than enough to at least upset someone, but Gorac didn't even blink(At least, I _think_ he didn't blink…). He merely held up his staff, and the Blue Cone topping it began to glow. Suddenly, the Titans plus Bob and Elmo were struck by lightning blue beams, and paralyzed. Gorac spread his arms apart, and the captured ones were divided into two groups, Raven, Bob, and Elmo, and the rest of the Titans Core. Gorac looked to the Titans Core minus Raven.

"You four are…spirited, to say the least. I may have plans for you yet." The masked Warlock turned his head to look at Raven, Bob , and Elmo, the last of which was having what we in the animal kingdom call a 'panic attack'. "But you, Bob, and she whose aura is similar to the last Demon what allied with you… You and the monkey shall spend the rest of your lives haunted by your memories…"

Gorac raised his staff again, and the from the Blue Cone came yet another blue bolt, this one creating a blue-ish vortex. Into the vortex first went Raven, Bob, and Elmo, then the Titans Core minus Raven, and finally Gorac himself, laughing evilly all the way…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Raven! Raven, wake up!"

_Five more minutes, please…_

"WAKE UP!"

Raven woke up with a start. Near her knelt Bob, who had been screaming in her ear. On his shoulder was Elmo, who held a little gong.

"Welcome to the land of the woken, sunshine." Bob said. He must have been pretty loud, his voice sounded hoarse.

"Bob?" Raven asked, "Wha- what happened?" Bob gestured, and Raven realized she was sitting in some sand. Upon standing up, she saw sand all around her. They were in a desert. Bob looked at her plainly. "Whaddya think?" He asked plainly. Raven didn't bother to look at him back.

"I think we're in for a long walk home…"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Oh no! Raven, along with the strange Magician, Bob, and his pet monkey Elmo, are trapped in a desert! How will they escape! And what happened to the rest of the Titans Core, and the evil Warlock, Gorac? Find out next time, in Of Cabbages & Kings! And will some PLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEE review! C'mon, I'm getting desperate, here!

Next episode: Extra Credit

_T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S, Teen Titans, let's go!_


	4. Extra Credit 4

Of Cabbages & Kings

"In times of crisis, it is of utmost importance not to lose one's head." –M. Antoinette

Part 4: Extra-Credit.

A few days earlier, if one was to tell Raven that she would be wandering through an endless desert with a strange man and his monkey, Raven would have laughed. Actually, she would have put the tidbit in the back of her mind for later use, if it were required. Nonetheless, that was her situation. Wandering through a seemingly endless amount of sun-baked sand. She glanced at her unintentional traveling companions, Bob, a Magician who dressed more like a 1940s detective, and Elmo, Bob's pet monkey, who sat on his master's shoulder, fanning himself. Raven couldn't help but notice that while Elmo was clearly suffering from the heat, Bob merely looked bored.

"Aren't you hot?" Raven asked. The Magician shrugged.

"Not really," Bob answered, "The trick is to wear loose clothing. Plus," He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, "I ditched my pants and shirt about 6 dunes back." Bob suddenly flashed Raven a crazy grin. "Wanna see?"

Raven slapped her hands over her eyes. "No!"

"Why? Don't you like vegetables?"

Raven decided to take a chance and peeked between her fingers. Apparently, even though he was no longer wearing his pants and shirt, Bob had enough sense to keep his boxers(Dotted with little carrots, cabbages, and corn ears), shoes, and tie(checkered with little disco balls). It wasn't a pretty sight, truth be told, but it could've been worse.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

And so, as the pair(or trio, if you count the monkey) trudged onward across the desert, Raven couldn't help but notice that every now and then, Bob would look around, as if he were expecting something to appear…

"See anything, Raven?" The Magician asked her, for what may have been 9th time today. Raven was beginning to get annoyed.

"No," She growled, the combined forces of heat and Bob constant inquiries getting to her. "Just sand and sun. The same sand and sun we've been seeing for the last _4 hours!_" This last outburst caused Raven to gain an extra pair of eyes(all four now red) and her teeth to become fangs. Bob didn't seem too perturbed by the effect, so Raven forced herself to calm down. After restoring her human appearance, Raven asked Bob, "What am I supposed to see, anyway?"

"Mirages."

Bob's simple, one word answer blew Raven's mind, which was truly something, as Raven's mind rarely got blown. Raven was about question Bob some more when she saw something she hoped to never see again.

Her father.

Trigon the Terrible.

Raven froze. Then she saw something else.

It was her. Or rather, it was what she looked like when her emotions united in her mind.

"Whaddya see, kid?" Bob asked her suddenly. Raven turned to look at the Magician, a look of puzzlement on her face.

"I see my father and I," She began quietly, "Fighting."

"Did this happen before?" Bob asked, sounding as if he knew the answer.

"Yes," Raven answered, bewildered. It was then a new voice entered the scene.

"_Somebody needs a time out." _

Raven would've watched as Cyborg -who was supposed to have been captured by Gorac!- appeared on the scene to blast Trigon with his Sonic Cannon, but Bob pulled her away.

"C'mon." Bob said as he dragged the mesmerized Raven away from the scene. Raven snapped herself out of her frozen state and wretched her wrist out of Bob's hand.

"Bob, where are we!" The half-demon demanded. She was sick of not having a clue. Bob sighed, turned around and looked at her kindly, an almost fatherly look in his eyes.

"Does the name, 'Sands of Time' mean anything to you?" He asked her, smiling(Raven was getting sick of that smile). Raven forced her disgust down and thought at what Bob meant. The Sands of Time _did _sound awfully familiar…

"Well?" Bob asked, apparently enjoying the look of puzzlement on Raven's face.

"It does, but I don't know what the meaning is, okay?" Raven answered. Bob nodded, and said, "No problem. This is a good time for me to explain to the reader-"(Somewhere in the distance a wall crumbled) "-where we are. The Sands of Time is a mystical desert, where the mirages are taken from ones memories. Long ago, it was used as a banishment ground for those who had committed the most heinous crimes, so the offender could reflect on his life, whether he or she wanted to or not." Bob paused, which gave Raven time to think and organize her thoughts. If what Bob said was true(And it probably was), then it explained her hallucination. What she saw was a memory of when Beast Boy and Cyborg stumbled upon her Mirror, and in doing so entered her mind, and complex and scary place. But why couldn't Bob see it?

"Because," Bob explained, "It was a memory you alone, among the three of us can recall. If it was something we both experienced, we could all see it."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Somewhere across the blazing hot Sands of Time, Gorac raised his staff into the air, the Blue Cone glowing. After waiting a few minutes, he slammed the blunt end of the staff downwards, causing an eerie ripple of power.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back with our unfortunate three, a massive, sandy-brown, wormlike creature rose up from the sands and loomed over Bob, Raven, and Elmo. "_Skeeeeeeeeoooooorrrkk!" _It roared.

To say Bob overreacted would be an unjustified falsehood. To say he screamed like a little girl, picked up Raven and ran would be much closer to the truth.

"What is that thing!" Raven asked, not so surprised at the monster worm(You deal with large monsters when you're a super hero) as she was at Bob's reaction to it.

"Somariean Sand Worm!" The Magician yelled, in a frightened frenzy, "But what are- Never mind!" Bob dumped Raven on the ground and took off toward the east. "Go that way!" The Magician screamed, pointing in the opposite direction. Raven did so, as did Elmo, who hopped off his master's shoulder. While running, Raven peered over her own shoulder to see what was happening.

Bob had apparently stopped running and was holding his left hand over his head. In a second a small fireball appeared in his palm, and it got bigger, and bigger, and the 'Somariean Sand Worm' suddenly began inching(or is that 'mile-ing' given the Worm's size?) toward the Magician. When the two came into close contact, there was a great flash…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Somewhere across the desert, a large structure began to grow out of the sand around Gorac and his Blue Cone Staff…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

It was dark when Raven came to. Night had fallen, and the Sands of a Time had cooled down much. Bob, with Elmo once again on his shoulder, was busy cooking something over a blazing fire. He had produced a large fondue fork, and had skewered some meat with it, which he was roasting.

"Wha…what happened?" Raven asked groggily.

"You fainted." Explained Bob, checking to see if the meat was ready, "Heatstroke. Happens whenever you wind up in a burning desert." Bob moved whatever was cooking out of the fire, letting it cool, then offered it to Raven. "Want some?"

Seeing the freshly cooked meat reminded Raven that she hadn't eaten since the beginning of the story. In a rare fit of savagery, Raven ripped the intended meal out of Bob's hand and began attacking it manner used by ravenous beasts.

"Hungry, huh?' Bob asked, tending to the fire.

"Mmm," Was all Raven could say, her mouth at work devouring the meat. After swallowing her food(chewing thoroughly, first) Raven decided to ask Bob something that has been bothering her since the end of the last chapter.

"Bob," Raven started out carefully, "What's your connection to Gorac?"

Bob didn't answer her at first, chewing carefully. Then he said, "I was wondering when you'd ask that. My story with Gorac started when back when he did something totally unforgivable."

"What?"

"He squelched me on a bet."

Raven was getting used to these little surprises, but this one really threw her.

"_What?_"

"Yup. Cheapskate."

"That's all? A bet?"

Bob gave Raven a stern look. "Kid, gambling's a serious thing. You should never gamble unless you're ready and willing to pay." Up on Bob's shoulder, Elmo nodded sagely. "Anyway, I chased him through five dimensions, and when I caught him, I shook him down and left him lying in the gutter."

Raven couldn't believe it. "You mean Gorac dumped us in the middle of some desert over a bet he lost?"

"Well," Bob said, his eyes to the sky, "There was this time where he was conquering a dimension and trashed my favorite restaurant. I sicked a demon on him for revenge." Bob chuckled warmly, as if remembering good times.

Something in that sentence clicked in Raven's mind, and she remembered something Gorac said before he sent them to the Sands Of Time.

"_But you, Bob, and she whose aura is similar to the last Demon what allied with you…"_

"What was the name of that demon, Bob?" Raven asked, almost knowing the answer.

"Trigon." Bob said simply, "It was easy, all I did was say Gorac was talkin' smack about him. Most demons don't like it when you talk smack about them."

Raven didn't reply. She secretly wondered if this was all some fantastic dream, but decided that no dream could ever be this outrageous. Meanwhile, Elmo became bored with the conversation, hopped off Bob's shoulder and began making a sandcastle. Raven finally asked, "You can summon demons?"

Bob grinned, "Sure! It gets easy after a few hundred tries."

Raven couldn't believe it. Summoning, one of the more difficult types of magic, was but a trifle for this smiling weirdo.

"Hey, since we're stuck in some magic desert," Bob said, taking advantage of Raven's silence, "How about I make you my apprentice?"

"What?" Asked Raven, too wrapped up in her own thoughts to hear him.

"Apprenticeship," Explained Bob, "I figure it'll keep us busy and the Sands of Time won't drive us stir-crazy."

Raven thought about it. An apprenticeship wasn't a one-time thing. It lasts until the teacher says so. Or the apprentice runs away. Raven wasn't sure studying under this madman would be all too pleasant, but something inside of her kept her from saying 'No' outright. And she knew what that something was. When she studied under the imprisoned dragon Malchior, it was one of the happiest few days of her last. It made her joyful knowing that someone truly understood her. Someone who could explain things to her. A mentor.

Robin had Batman.

Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Who did she have? Nobody.

But no more.

"You have yourself an Apprentice." Raven held out her hand, but Bob didn't take it.

"What? You don't trust my word?" Bob regarded her palm with a mixture of curiosity and confusion.

Raven stared. "But, you said…"

Bob nodded. "That's right. You're my apprentice, and I don't shake hands with apprentices." Raven inwardly groaned. She knew this wouldn't be all honey and roses.

"Let's get some sleep," Bob said. He pulled out an alarm clock and began winding it. "Teaching begins after a power nap." By now Elmo had constricted a Leaning Tower of sand.

"Crack of dawn?" Raven asked, settling down.

"Before dawn. We won't make much progress with that blazing sun overhead."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Somewhere across the desert, a large palace formed out the sands Gorac summoned. The masked Warlock smiled evily. Soon, very soon…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

And so an hour before the sun rose, Raven's apprenticeship began. Despite her reservations, it wasn't as difficult as she thought. Her first lesson was something Bob called 'Magical Review'. Basically, the two(Or three, if you count Elmo) talked about things Raven already understood, such as her powers came from being of demonic heritage, and that they were linked to her emotions and feelings. Then Bob told her something interesting about demons in general.

"The thing is," Bob said, "Most demons aren't entirely evil, just uncaring. And the few demons that are evil get their powers from the thoughts and feelings from mortals. Negative thoughts and feelings."

That explained why Raven was an empath, a being who could sense emotions. Bob mentioned when emotions are involved, things usually got sticky.

"A wise man said love was the most powerful force in the universe," Bob explained, "But that's only part of it. In my experience, all emotions all equally strong, but it depends on who's feeling what. Not to mention the side-effects."

Bob explained that a positive emotion, like happiness, was more often then not the catalyst for healing or purifying magic. Negative emotions, like anger, seemed to power dark and destructive energies.

"Ever notice in an anime, when character _X _gives a glimpse of some 'hidden power'?" Bob asked, "It's usually when _X _is undergoing some sort of deep-seated emotional duress. That's true in real life, as you've noticed, I'm sure."

Boy, was _that_ true. Raven remembered(if but barely) when her anger got out of control in her early Titan days, traumatizing poor Dr. Light. It was then when Raven saw something in the distance.

It was Bob.

But wasn't Bob walking beside her? Plus, this Bob seemed to be talking to a woman. Raven's eyes widened when she saw who that woman was.

It was her mother.

Arella.

The Bob next to her whistled. "That's afamiliar scene…"

"_Hiya." _The other Bob said to Arella.

"_Hello." _Arella replied distractedly. She seemed more concerned with the bundle in her arms. The other-Bob noticed said bundle, and reacted accordingly.

"_Ahh, a newborn!"_ Other-Bob declared grandly, _"How old?"_

Arella gave Other-Bob a sad look. _"Only 5 months." _She answered.

"_Hmm, that's less than half-a year…" _Murmured Other-Bob. He reached and began tickling baby Raven's chin. The newborn giggled. _"Coochie coochie coo- EYOW!" _Other-Bob wretched his finger away from baby Raven and started shouting…well, let's just say you won't hear some of these words on a cartoon show. _"The little #$!& bit me!"_

"_I am sorry," _Arella said.

It was a this point that Raven-the current, older Raven - felt a hand on her shoulder. She look up to see Bob- the current, but just as strange, if not stranger- Bob looking at her with forlorn expression, which was a very uncommon thing for someone like Bob to have. The Magician led the half-demoness away from the scene. Raven was silent for about five minutes until she decided to figuratively bite the bullet.

"Bob," she began slowly, "What was _That_?"

Bob didn't answer at first, and he had a far-away look that, in Raven's opinion, seemed very alien to the Magician. After a few minutes of far-away silence, Bob finally answered, "That…was a memory we both shared."

Raven wasn't exactly satisfied with that. "And?" She persisted, wanting a full explanation. No more of this dancing around.

"A shared memory is something we both experienced," Bob explained, "You were too young to remember it on your own, but this desert has a tendency to dredge up old memoriess, long buried deep." Bob looked up and his eyes focused on something in the distance. "We may hafta put our discussion on hold, though," he pointed, "Looky there!"

Raven looked to where Bob(and Elmo) were pointing.

It was a massive tower that looked like it had grown out of the Sands itself.

Raven, Bob, and Elmo exchanged confused looks.

"Is it real?" Supposed Raven, more to herself than to anyone.

"Well," Began Bob, casually shuffling towards the structure, "I've never seen it before. That's a good sign that it's real. C'mon."

Raven started off after Bob, but wondered why Bob wasn't in any rush. If it was real, wouldn't make a good shelter?

"Because," Bob explained, when Raven voiced her query, "We're still trapped under this blazing sun. I don't wanna exert myself and pass out. Plus, hold on," Bob paused and rubbed some sand out of his eye, "Plus, there's a good chance Gorac could be in there. We'll stand a better chance against whatever he'll have cooked up if we're not as tired as we could be."

Raven thought about what Bob said, then asked, "If Gorac _is _in there, why are we going?"

"Simple," Bob said, "by going to him, we'll be boxing the old miser into a corner. Otherwise, he'll be able to carefully plan how to do away with us from his safe hidey-hole." Bob jerked his thumb over his shoulder, "Y'know that sand-worm that jumped us while back? Gorac probably summoned and sent itat us."

Raven had to concede that Bob had a point, but something nagged at her. "What if we're headed into a trap?"

Bob had an answer for that, too. "If it is a trap, we'll just have to deal with it. I don't know about you, but I'm fed up with wandering around this desert. I want to finish this, one way or another, for better or for worse."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

It took a while for the three to walk the distance between them and what may have been Gorac's tower, but to 'pass the time', Bob decided to regale his past glories, falures, and other various adventures. In Raven's opinion, this did the opposite and slowed time _down_.

"-Now, the next day we visited this town, to find a doctor who could remove the little blighter from his stomach, but we were jumped by these bandits, spent the day tryin' to get our clothes back-"

Bob was in full swing, and Raven wondered how much of this story wasn't exaggerated.

"-It wasn't till nightfall when I realized that the leader was friends with the town mayor, and that was the reason we were in the hoosegow, so things didn't look so good, then Chuck had this great idea-"

"We're here," Raven said, ending the endless yarn.

It was true. In the time it took Bob to prattle on about his 'adventures', they had managed to make itto the large doors of Gorac's tower.

"Hmm!" Bob hemmed, taking in the massive entrance. "Shall I knock?"

"Won't that give us away?" Asked Raven, giving Bob a weird look. It was becoming a rather common expression for her.

"Gorac knows we're coming," Bob explained, pushing his hands against one door. "Won't make any difference, but I don't wanna forget my manners."

Grunting, Bob began to push. Slowly, but surely, that one door began to open. After about five minutes, the door was open wide enough to get through.

Leaning against the massive door, Bob gasped for air.

"Why didn't you use magic?" Raven asked, thinking of Bob's doors.

"Don't wanna waist my supply," Bob said, regaining his breathe. "You and I can only use a limited amount of mana(Magical energy, for you laymen), and we'll need every last bit- Get down!"

Bob grabbed Raven and pulled her to the ground, just as a ball of green light zipped past them. Raven looked up, and, in the turquoise glow of a starbolt, with their eyes glazed over and unfocused, her old friends.

The Titans Core.

"Aw, nerts." Bob said.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Nest time, Raven and Bob have to fight off the enslaved Titans and Gorac! Don't worry, the final part of this arc is coming! and remember...REVIEW!


	5. Final Exam 5

Of Cabbages and Kings

"You got a friend, in me…"_ -_The Lone Ranger

Part 5- Final Exam

Somehow, she should have seen this coming. Raven, for all intents and purposes, should have seen this coming. And why not? She had fought enough meglomaniacs, warlords, and weirdos to get a basic idea of a villain's mind. If one can bend space and time, surely mind-control should be a piece of cake! And why ensnare helpless strangers when you could simply use your foe's very friends for the added psychological effect? It was so obvious!

And maybe that's why Gorac did it. Maybe because it was such a _cliché _idea that no one would suspect him of using it, which is why she, along with Elmo and Bob, were facing her clearly mind-controlled friends. The reason behind the clearness was in the eyes- they were listless and hollow. A sure sign that their conscious thoughts were somewhere else, and that another power was steering their bodies.

Bob's eyes, on the other hand, were rolling. "Ahh, not this gimmick! Why does everyone use the 'Hey, let's have 'em fight' routine? I mean, come on!"

"Eek." Went Elmo, sharing Bob's sentiments.

It was at this point that Cyborg fired his sonic cannon, while Starfire threw another starbolt. Bob and Raven, master and apprentice, swung around to avoid the onslaught.

"Gorac must not be trying hard," Bob noted, "Or he's running out of ideas. Everyone knows mind-control victims can't act at 100%."

As he spoke, Beast Boy and Robin went on the offensive. The changeling became a tiger and pounced, while Robin brought out his retractable staff. Raven jumped out of the way of the green tiger, while Bob caught Robin's staff and used the momentum to toss the Teen Wonder aside. Robin did a mid-air flip and landed on his feet.

"Can we break the spell?" Raven asked, as she and Bob backed away. At this point they were more or less inside the tower, and were now going in deeper.

"No, I think this one is tied directly to Gorac," Bob mused thoughtfully, "Sorta like how some people prefer a cable to wireless or satellite. Luckily, this gives us an advantage."

Raven looked at Bob questioningly. How would her friends be under an unbreakable control spell work for them?

"You see, dear apprentice," Bob chuckled for some reason or another, "If Gorac is directly manipulating your friends' movements, then he himself can't properly concentrate on his own spells. He was never good at multitasking like that."

"Arraahh!" Cyborg yelled, and leapt at them. The magic pair once again jumped back to avoid being squashed under his metallic might.

"If one of us keeps their attention," Bob continued, keeping a hold of Raven's arm, "The other can go and challenge Gorac directly, and he won't be able to fight back efficiently."

Raven nodded, and pulled up her hood. "Right. I'll stay here and you-"

"Ninx to that," Bob interrupted, letting go. "_I'll _stay here and play metaphorical ring-around-the-rosy with your buddies, _you _go find Gorac."

Raven stared at him. "You want _me _to attack a master mage, _alone?_"

"You won't be alone." Bob assured her, and snapped his fingers. Elmo leapt out from under Bob's hat and onto Raven's shoulder.

Raven's expression could have soured milk. Goat's milk, to be exact. "Oh, joy. Me and a monkey. Gorac won't know what hit him."

"Elmo knows a few things about magic, too, y'know." Bob told her, and to demonstrate, Elmo rubbed his hands together, releasing a single dove. It was blasted out of the air by Starfire.

"Anyway," Bob continued, as he and Raven kept hopping away from the twisted Titans, "Between making this tower and controlling these guys, Gorac must be running out by now. You two should be fine."

"Unless he's tapping into some external force." Raven said, leaning back to avoid a birdaraang.

"If he does, no reason why you can't tap into it, too," Bob shrugged. He paused to sprinkle a little pepper into a green wolf's nose. While the changeling sneezed, He said, "Anyway, you got the easy job. _I _have to stay here and keep playing keep away with your friends, and I can't knock them out, otherwise Gorac will be able to concentrate on you. Don't worry about me, though," He said as Raven opened her mouth. "I'm good at keeping away from people. Go beat the bad guy. You should be good at that."

Despite her best efforts, Raven had to admit Bob had a point. Bob had enough skill and experience to keep her teammates distracted while they were being controlled by Gorac, who, if Bob's theory was even remotely sound, would be distracted enough for her and Elmo to beat, if she was careful…and she was always careful. Mostly always, anyway. And Elmo may have been a monkey, but he was also a Magician's familiar, so maybe he would be of use as well.

"Let's do it," Raven said at last, "Where do I go?"

"Hmm, good question." Bob dug into his trenchcoat and pulled out a crystal ball. After tapping it with his index finger, Bob threw the sphere into the air.

FWASH!

The light that appeared wasn't all that bright, but after getting used to the darkness of the tower's entry, it was a bit of a shock. However, after taking a minute to make the dots go away, Raven saw the entrance to a stairway on her left.

"There we go." She noted, and felt a rustle of movement and a weight on her shoulders vanish. Elmo was on the move. And so was she.

And so were Robin and Beast Boy, moving to intercept her. While Elmo was small enough to slip between the two of them, Raven had to be a bit more creative, and bit crueler in her travels. Using a lunging Beast Boy- now a crocodile- as a springboard, Raven leapt over the two. But as she landed, she felt something from going further. Looking behind, she saw that Robin had grabbed her cloak. Pressing the amulet on her cloak (You know, the one on her collar…), she released its grip on one end of the fabric, sending Robin (Who was pulling really hard) tumbling back. As she ran threw the opening, the four Titans rushed after her- or they would have, if Bob hadn't appeared before them in a puff of smoke, blocking their way.

"Sorry kids, but you only get one of us tonight." He chuckled.

There was sound like old stones falling into place, and Bob looked behind him. The opening had closed.

"Maybe splitting up was a mistake…" Bob murmured, before turning his attention back to the four twisted Titans.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven and Elmo looked back down the stairs. While they were climbing the winding staircase, they heard a noise, and the light dimmed, leaving only the illumination of candles on the wall.

"What was that?" Raven asked aloud.

**Don't worry, just keep going!**

Heroine and simian exchanged looks.

"Bob…?" Raven began, before being cut off by another telepathic message.

**That noise was just the entrance being sealed off, **The Magician explained, **But, I'll be fine. Owch!**

_What happened? _Raven thought, thinking for both her and Elmo.

**That Beast Boy turned into a terrier and bit me! Get off, you dumb dog!**

Raven and Elmo exchanged looks again. Should they go back…?

**Look, just go find Gorac! **There was a pause. **Don't make me play the master-apprentice card and order you.**

Raven was about to mentally snark at this perceived threat when she felt something on her leg. Looking down, she saw Elmo pointing up the stairs. Raven knew she was being outvoted in this regard. Even though Raven wanted go back, both for her friends and for her new teacher, she knew that this vague plan hinged on the two- THREE of them keeping Gorac's attention scattered, even if it meant leaving Bob at the mercy of her mind-controlled friends- and visa-versa. She just didn't like it.

_Just don't hurt them. _She thought at Bob, before running up the stairs, Elmo hot on her heels.

**I assure you, they won't suffer anything they can't sleep off…**

_That's reassuring. _Raven thought dryly as she moved.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In the central room, Bob ran alongside the wall, Beast Boy close behind. Coming at him was Robin. Summoning a small whirlwind in his hand, Bob threw the tiny tornado at the Teen Wonder. Robin easily hopped over the miniature maelstrom and launched a flying kick at Bob. The Magician cartwheeled out of the way, but Robin landed before Beast Boy, now a panther, avoiding a painful collision.

Meanwhile, Bob raced toward the center of the room, where Cyborg awaited him. As the half-man, half-machine Titan swung a strong right, Bob leapfrogged over his shoulders- where Starfire awaited him.

"Whoopsy." Was all Bob had time to say as the Tamaranian blasted him square in the chest. Bob fly across the room, over Beast Boy and Robin's heads, and hit the wall with a wince-inducing bam.

"Maybe I should've left Raven here and went ahead." Bob griped as he slid down. But he knew that wouldn't have been fair. It was partially his fault that they were all in this mess, and he was sparing Raven the trouble of dealing with her twisted teammates.

He thought no more of it as he rolled away, dodging a barrage of sonic power, starbolts, exploding discs, and saliva(Beast Boy had become a camel).

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

As Bob dodged, ducked, and evaded the attacks of the twisted Titans, Raven and Elmo had come across a door at the top of the stairs.

"Is this it?" Raven asked Elmo. The monkey shrugged, indicating that he knew no more than she did. Without another word, Raven pushed the door open.

The room it led to was circular, just like the one at the entrance, except this one was better lit, and painted in a greenish-purple.

Had Raven and Elmo been color-blind, it would have appeared to be mauve.

However, what commanded Raven and Elmo's attention was not the somewhat nauseating hue of their surroundings, but the lone figure standing in the center of it.

"Dr. Light?" Raven asked, bewildered.

"Ook?" Elmo asked, equally bewildered, but for different reasons.

"You cannot stand before the power of light!" The not-so-good doctor declared, and fired a beam of light.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, Bob was busy engaged in a brief scrap with Robin. Luckily, as Bob had earlier predicted, being mind-controlled had dulled Robin's martial arts performance, enough for Bob to block several punches, catch a kick, and throw the Teen Wonder aside. Unfortunately, while this occurred, Beast Boy, now as a cobra snake, had coiled around his thighs.

"Now what?" Bob muttered, looking down. His attention was drawn from the snakey Titan by the sound of a gun charging. Looking to his left, he saw Cyborg preparing to fire his sonic cannon. And out of the corner of his eye, he saw Starfire building a beachball-sized starbolt.

_I could just poof away, _Bob thought, _but I don't think green jeans here would survive._

Thinking quickly, Bob reached into his trenchcoat just as the two Titans fired.

Within seconds, Bob pulled out a frying pan and swung at the starbolt, while at the same time, he released a stream of fire from the confines of his mouth. The flames hit the sonic energy with such force that they canceled each other out, save for a really jarring 'bwavwoom' noise and some flickering of light. Meanwhile, Bob's frying pan backswing sent the large starbolt at a wall, blasting away rocks. When the dust settled, it revealed the entrance to the stairs.

"Hey, and they laugh at me for carrying this around." Bob chuckled, putting the pan away.

After hopping out from the loosened grip of a shell-shocked green snake, Bob thought, _I wonder if I should check up on Raven…_

A hissing poked his attention in the eye, and Bob soon realized that the green cobra had become a green anaconda.

_On second thought, I'm sure she's fine!_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

_This is _not _fine. _Raven thought, dodging beams.

Dr. Light continued his offensive untiringly, fire beams of light to and fro. And while Raven would have normally hide in the shadows and simply gone around him, some strange power in the tower kept ensured that option was not viable.

(Off to the side, Elmo stuck a finger in his mouth, and began to trace something into the ground with his spit.)

"Are you afraid of the light?" Light said, pausing to readjust his aim. He then flexed.

And there was something else. There was something…off…about Dr. Light. While it was the same, blustering, egomaniacal, spineless Dr. Light she remembered, her instincts kept telling her there was a wrongness of it all. His speech patterns had a stilted quality to them, and his movements were rigid. It was as if he was a poorly programmed robot.

Then a bolt of fire, like a miniature comet, zipped out of nowhere and blasted Light. Looking to where the fire had come from, Raven saw Elmo sitting behind some Norse runes drawn into the floor. Elmo pointed. Raven looked.

Dr. Light had frozen, and appeared to fade in and out. He seemed to get fuzzy once and twice.

A lightbulb illuminated the darkness of her confusion. It was an illusion- no, a memory. But how could it fight?

Caused by what she would later decide was some poorly cooked worm meat, Raven remembered Beast Boy and Cyborg talking about some video game…

"…_Whoa, whoa!" Cyborg interrupted, "How can he fight her? She got destroyed in the first game!"_

"_Yeah, but _this _game is in a place where memories are real!" Beast Boy insisted, "So, he's not really fighting her, but a _memory _of her!"_

"_How? Magic?"_

"_Uh, yeah!"_

And she was so sure that she had blocked out their voices, too…

Shaking her head, Raven walked to the exit, where Elmo was already waiting. She opened the door and looked.

"Oh, joy. More stairs."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Bob was in a tight squeeze- literally. Beast Boy was still in anaconda form, and had wrapped himself around the Magician. Now it was all a matter of increasing the pressure.

"Ribs…Compressing…" Bob muttered, grimacing. "Anymore…and…I'll…"

There was a poof of smoke, and Bob was gone. Beast Boy returned to normal in confusion-

Whoosh!

-and in time for a domestic tornado to hit, sending him spinning across the room.

"I was wondering what happened to that." Bob remarked, impressed. The little whirlwind he made had built up into a very fine cyclone indeed.

Regrettably, Bob was too busy musing on the home-made twister to notice Robin sneaking up on him. He became aware of the Teen Wonder when a pair of svelte but muscular arms wrapped around his waist.

"Kid, you mind?" Bob asked, and was prepared to just poof out when he realized that Cyborg and Starfire had blasted a combined sonic blast and starbolt at him. And by 'combined', it was just a big starbolt being given added speeded and momentum by the energy of Cyborg's sonic cannon. Bob's eyes widened, as he glanced back at the tightly-holding Robin.

Poof/BOOM!

When the dust settled, there was a large crater where the sonic starbolt had hit…but no bodies. Bob and Robin had vanished. Cyborg and Starfire stared.

"Be careful next time," Bob said from behind them, "You almost got Robin!"

The two twisted Titans turned around to see Bob, with Robin still firmly attached. They both swung a fist.

POW!

Bob flew, becoming free of Robin, and hit the wall. Again.

He had no time to think about this as Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg blasted him with exploding discs/starbolts/sonic energy.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

After traversing what seemed like a never-ending supply of stairs, Raven came across another door. Unlike the first one, this one was very ornate, with jewels, green/purple paint, and door knocker that looked something that would give Cthulu nightmares.

"This must be it." Raven sighed, and pushed it open.

The room before her and Elmo was slightly more decorated than the room she found in the middle of the tower. However, it was decorated with broken furniture, torn curtains, bits and pieces of pottery, and rocks. In the entire area there was only one good chair.

And Gorac was sitting in it.

"How…" He rasped, clutching his staff. "_How did you get past the memory?_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back on the ground floor, the four twisted Titans stood in front of Bob, staring at the prone form, lying flat on his back.

Robin pulled out a birdaraang and pointed the edge at Bob's throat.

Starfire created another starbolt to throw.

Cyborg powered up his sonic cannon.

Beast Boy became a cougar.

_Raven's found Gorac, _Bob thought, vaguely aware of his personal impending doom. _Looks like I can stop playing around._

Bob casually reached over with his right hand and pulled the glove off his left. Had an of the twisted Titans present had occult insight or were even conscious, they would have seen his left hand glow with the light of octarine- the eighth color, the color of magic. Octarine has been described by mighty mages and wise witches as being the supreme color, the one that the other primal colors bow down to and weep- which doesn't tell anyone what it actually looks like. Bob often likened it to seasick grapes. Bob placed his octarine hand on the tip of his nose-

FASH

-And his body suddenly transformed. When the octarine light subsided, the twisted Titans saw that absolute nothing had changed- except that all of the cuts, slashes, bumps and bruises Bob had sustained during the one-way fight were gone. Even the damage to his clothes were mended.

Getting back to his feet, Bob clapped his hands. "Well, shall we continue?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Release my friends from whatever spell you're using to control them," Raven said evenly, "Now."

Gorac tilted his masked head to the left. "You make such demands of me, alone?"

Raven glanced down at Elmo. "Who says I'm alone?"

"Oh, yes, the monkey," Gorac spat, "What wonderful help he has given a mere _apprentice _for her battle against a skilled warlock. He is so thoughtful."

This hit a bit close to the heart, as Raven had thought the same thing sixty-four hundred steps ago. However, by now she had a good comeback ready.

"Maybe he thinks it's all you deserve." She said, spreading her hands back.

Gorac tightened his grip on his staff. "You miserable freak! Don't you understand he is just using you!? You are nothing more than a pawn, a tool, a, a, a piece of dirt he throws around and replaces! You mean nothing to him! _He doesn't care!_"

For a brief, immeasurable moment, Raven paused. In that moment, she wondered if that was true.

When the moment ended, she said, "That may be. But," She fixed a Gorac with a cool look. "I care about my friends, and so far they haven't died, even though Bob could have killed all of them to save time. Bob may not be trustworthy, but I can sense he does possess some sort of honesty." Her hands began to glow with the flickering darkness of demonic energy.

On the ground, Elmo blanched and began to wave his arms, going "Eek!"

Were it not for the mask, Raven would have seen Gorac scowl. "You would not defend that coward if you had known what he has done…"

"I know what he did to you," Raven interrupted, "He made you pay a debt you tried to weasel out of. He humiliated you and bruised that ego of yours. But it's funny, you calling him a coward. My friends, that memory, making us walk through that desert…if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to keep us away. Or were you hoping to tire us down? You could have killed us all in Bob's home, but you sent us here instead. Who is the coward, Gorac?" She asked, "The trickster who stayed behind to fight…or the 'great man' who hid at the top of his tower?"

It was at this point that Gorac lost it.

"SILENCE!!" He screamed, and fired a ball of white lightning at Raven. The Titan and Elmo sidestepped the blast, going in different directions.

"_**Azarath Metrion…**_" Raven began to chant.

**Hey, Raven! One thing I forgot to mention!**

"_**Zinthos!**_" The dark power in her hands were released, homing in on Gorac, who still had not moved.

**Don't use magic on Gorac!**

"Wha-?" Raven was about to ask for clarification when she saw why. The dark power struck Gorac, but instead of harming him, it was simply absorbed into his body, like an occult skin cream.

**He can absorb raw magical energy, so don't use it directly on him!**

Gorac rasied his staff, the blue cone glowed, and nasty, icky, Australian snakes appeared and slithered over to her, venom dripping from their comically large fangs. Raven instantly shot into the air, just barely avoiding a certainly fatal bite. Waving her hands, she sent another pulse of dark power that crushed the two serpents into oblivion. Off to the side, Elmo dove for cover in the form of a half cracked urn.

_You could have mentioned that earlier! _Raven thought, now flying around to avoid being fried by more white lightning balls.

**Well, Excuse me! My mind's been a bit preoccupied, what with the fact that I've got to fight your teammates without hurting them! Gimme a break!**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Down on floor 1, Cyborg lunged at Bob, who promptly punched him in the gut. Though neither of them were hurt, Cyborg was sent flying back.

_That's going to sting in the morning. _Bob thought, when he heard the sound of hooves behind him. Turning around, he saw a green bull charging right at him. Thinking quickly, Bob grabbed Raven's cloak and began to wave it in front of him like a matador.

"_Toro! Toro!_" Bob shouted unthinkingly. When Beast Boy charged just as thinkingly past him through the cloak, Bob yelled, "_Ole!_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

On the top floor, Raven had decided that if she couldn't just zap Gorac, she could at least enchant everything around her against him. Elmo helped out, casting his own spells from a safe distance, but because he had to write down every spell into the ground, Raven had to fight on her own for a period of at least two minutes between monkey-spells.

At current moment, Raven had taken control of a couch with some large teeth marks and flung it at Gorac. The warlock easily blasted it to pieces, before creating something that looked like what would happen if a porcupine and sea sponge tried to procreate- and _succeeded_.

_I feel ill. _Raven thought, doing her best not to look directly at the Thing, whatever it was supposed to be called.

Luckily, several octarine rings blasted the Thing, making it vanish from existing. Elmo had finished casting another spell.

_That's better. _Raven now knew why Bob had assigned Elmo to her side. As a familiar, Elmo knew enough about magic to be able nullify most of Gorac's hexes, even if he did take a few minutes to cast a spell. This meant that she didn't have to worry about the warlock's most dangerous curses.

Spotting a curtain, an idea came to Raven. A quick chant later, Raven sent the dark-powered fabric at Gorac, wrapping it around him. As the warlock struggled to free himself, Raven battered him with more furniture fragments.

Gorac instantly burst free in a blast of hellfire. "ENOUGH! I will not be taunted by that man's student and his pet!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back on the bottom, Bob was busy placing Starfire in another tornado when Robin suddenly collapsed. Taking a grand leap from the twisted Titan trapped in a twister to investigate the Teen Wonder's body.

_He looks fine, _Bob thought. He smirked. _Looks like Raven and Elmo are giving Gorac such a hard time he had to release Robin. Excellent, one down, three to go!_

Bob then grabbed Robin and took another grand leap, just narrowly avoiding a flurry of starbolts. Starfire had escaped from the tornado. After placing Robin under a protective shield against the wall, Bob heard a hiss, and saw the green anaconda again.

"I think we're running out of ideas, here." He sighed, and rolled up his sleeves.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

On floor 3, Raven and Elmo's battle had increased in difficulty. Releasing his control of Robin had allowed Gorac to cast spells from both hands, and as such he was able to send magic at both of them at the same time. This meant that Elmo couldn't prepare a spell while Raven drew his fire, and as such was forced to scamper about like…well, like a frightened monkey. A ballof black-and-red magic almost hit when a flickering black claw grabbed Elmo and pulled him out of danger. The ball hit with a 'bawam' and the surface it struck became littered with ugly, Australian spiders.

"Yuck." Raven commented, placing Elmo on her shoulders.

"Ook."

"What do you mean, 'Good thing Bob isn't here?" Raven asked, cocking an eyebrow. _Did I just understand him?_

"Ook."

"He's afraid of spiders? Seriously?" _I did! I understand him now!_

"_Ook._"

"Oh. Yeah, you're right, good thing. We wouldn't survive something like that." Raven quickly did several loop-de-loops to avoid being hexed by Gorac.

"Hold still!!" screamed Gorac, and began to create knives that shot at them.

Raven erected a barrier for protection, but knew it wouldn't last.

"Can you do anything?" She asked Elmo.

"Eek!" Elmo nodded, and stuck his finger in his mouth. Raven then felt a slight pressure on her back, and came to the gruesome conclusion- Elmo was drawing on her back!

_Monkey spit. Ew. _She thought, trying to concentrate on her shield.

"Eek!"

Raven quickly withdrew the barrier as an octarine bolt zipped over her and down to the floor. The bolt struck a piece of rubble, transforming it into a cannon- and the short fuse was lit.

BOOM!

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Bob casually deposited Beast Boy- who, as a snake, was doing a wonderful impersonation of a sailor's knot- next to Robin, just as the green changeling suddenly lost consciousness.

_That's two. _Bob thought. He turned his attention to Cyborg and Starfire, who were powering up starbolts and sonic blasts respectively. They fired, but Bob simply waved his hand, blocking both shots with a stream of cherry blossoms.

_I should wrap this up, _He thought, _Gorac must be getting pretty vicious by now._

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The cannon fire had not damaged Gorac- not too much, that is. His armor was cracked, with pieces blow off, and his mask now had a hole over where the left eye should be. In it, Raven could just barely make out some kind of pulsing, bloodshot eye.

"That's a good look for him." She remarked to Elmo, who went "Ook" in agreement.

"_Shut up!!_" Gorac screeched, and unleashed several burst of magic that became spinning shuriken. Raven put up another barrier, but the shuriken carved through them like a buzz-saw through balsa wood. Luckily, Raven just barely managed to dodge it- instead of losing her head, she got a slight cut on her cheek.

"Ow." She said at last, looking at the blood. Elmo reached up and kissed it. "Uh…thanks." Looking down at Gorac, she called out, "If you want to do any better than that, you'll have to get up!"

It was a bluff, a taunt, something to get the warlock even more riled up, in hopes that he would make a mistake in his rage.

She never expected him to rise up to her level.

"If you _insist._" He hissed, sounding less like a man, and more like a reptile reading cue cards.

Then, light.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Cyborg lunged and threw a punch, but Bob used the momentum to throw him overhead. As the Titan flew into the wall, Bob poofed to another location to avoid a starbolt. As he appeared, Bob took special notice of Cyborg- the machine-man had not gotten up.

_He's down too, _Bob thought, _Which means Raven is now in over her head. _He looked up at the twisted Tamaranean baring down him him in flight, green energy building. _Gorac would release the humans first. He never thought too much of humans. Neither do I, come to think of it._

As Starfire got closer, Bob snapped his fingers in her direction. There was a wind of leaves…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

If things had were bad before, that was nothing compared to what Raven had to deal with now. Gorac kept pelting her with a never-ending barrage of spells, forcing Raven to both fly for her life and erect dark barriers at the same time. Unfortunately, the barriers shattered against each spell, and the backlash kept propelling her through the air, to the point where she had no control of her flight path. Elmo wasn't any help, as the previously mentioned circumstances made it impossible for him to cast spells. And so there he was, clinging to Raven's back, going "Eek" in a very loud voice.

"Elmo, I'm doing the best I can!" Raven yelled, "So stop screaming in my ear!"

And so, she was being assaulted from multiple fronts: Gorac's magic, Elmo's screeching, some airsickness welling up in her stomach, and the flickering from Gorac's Blue Cone was going to give her a seizure.

Blue Cone… of course!

Every time Gorac cast a spell, the cone on the top of his staff glowed. That must be the source of his power!

_I have to get that staff away from him! _She decided, and tried to will it away. No good. His grip was too firm. And in response to her attempted theft, he summoned a cloud of small sea mines at her.

_Bob… Help! _Rave thought desperately amongst the explosions.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

_Don't worry, kid! I'm coming!_

Bob continued to sprinkle a strange shimmering powder over the four fallen Titans.

_I'm just making sure your friends will be free of Gorac's control when they wake up! _He thought to her.

**Hurry!**

_Relax, _Bob got up and dusted himself off. _I'll be there in two shakes of a badger's claw. _

He snapped his fingers, but instead of a theatrical puff of smoke and his disappearance, there was a sound like a boiled egg hitting a canvas.

…_Oh boy._

**What's wrong?**

_Uh…before you left, I placed a homing spell on you. I was planning to appear at your side once I had your teammates well off._

**You can't use it, can you? There's some kind of magic preventing those kinds of actions. I couldn't teleport either.**

_That's a problem. I'll have to take the stairs. See you…fifteen minutes! Just hang on!_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

_Fifteen minutes? Why doesn't he be realistic and say fifteen _years_?_

The horrible realization that her new teacher would not be at her side in time to save the day did nothing for Raven's peace of mind, nor for her immediate future. Gorac's aim was improving, and her powers were waning.

And what was worse was the hateful rage she felt from Gorac. It was an anger of cruelty and sorrow, an animalistic fury, like a kicked dog that decided it wants to fight back. It was frustrated, it was desperate, it was… cornered. Just like she was. And it was driving him to be more and more dangerous.

Then Raven remembered what Bob had mentioned out in the desert. How emotions such as anger can strengthen someone. Starfire had said that during the Puppet King debacle that her species abilities were tied to their emotions.

Then, why not her? What was stopping her from getting angry, and overpowering Gorac?

BZZZ! Raven ducked to avoid a swarm of big, green hornets. On her back, Elmo had ceased his shrieking and simply settled for rigid, silent terror.

Well, years of repressing her emotions had rendered her ability to simply lose her temper null and void unless truly pushed. Her friends were safe, Bob was all right, and she was, in a subconscious, perverted way, attempting to derive any sort of enjoyment from the situation, finding Gorac's own rage amusing.

Gorac's rage?

Why not?

Raven put herself in a lotus position, a stupid thing to do in combat, and began to meditate.

"_**Azarath...Metrion…Zinthos!**_"

And then she pulled it in. Gorac's anger, his rage and frustration, all of it, she pulled into herself. It was the psychic equivalent to drinking a mixture of red bull and barbeque sauce…with salt.

This caused two things. Without the rage to drive him, Gorac's momvement's slowed…while at the same time, Raven experienced a rush like never before. All of her exhaustion and pain vanished in a second. She felt her muscles swell and tense with power. Her eyes glowed blood red…and became four.

Elmo soon became aware that something drastic had happened, and decided that now was not the time to be clinging to Raven in fear, when he could be hiding under that urn in caution. He didn't want to be near Raven right now.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Bob had just reached the middle floor when felt it. Scooping up some sand, he began to fly.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Gorac had no time to adjust to this surreal turn of events. Within seconds, Raven was in his face.

POW!

She punched him with such force and speed that he dropped his staff. When said rod hit the ground, the Blue Cone broke off, rolling towards Elmo.

CRACK!

Raven gave Gorac a devastating ax-kick that blasted him down to the ground with such force that it was nothing short of a miracle that he didn't go through to the floor below. There was no time to marvel at this as Raven landed suddenly before him with a slam. As she looked down at the warlock, the rage almost vanished with a start. Gorac's mask had fallen completely off, revealing a face, though it was only a face in the loosest sense of the word. The best way to describe it would that whoever had designed Gorac's face had started with two eyes, before simply dumping a mess of fangs, tentacles, and mosquito bites in. And in her revulsion, Raven found a new source of anger.

_And he called _me _a freak?_

Picking Gorac up, Raven pulled back, lingering for just one second, before delivering the final blow.

KER-POW!!

Gorac went flying, going so far and fast that when he hit the wall, it broke, and he continued to soar through the air, toward and beyond the horizon.

Elmo peeked out from under the urn. Was it over?

Because the rage was never hers, it left Raven instantly. And she fell. The rage had given her strength, but it had not made the pain go away, and it did not revitalize her. It was just a rush to focus her mind…

"Nice job, kid." Bob said, catching her.

"Bob…" Raven said softly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the bodies of her friends float up behind him.

"They're fine," Bob said, following her gaze. "They're just a bit tired from being jerked around like puppets on strings."

Raven closed her eyes. She wanted to ask when Bob showed up, what had taken so long, how badly were her teammates hurt…

But when she opened her eyes, she asked, "What was he?"

Bob sat Raven down and looked out the window Gorac's forced departure created.

"There is a universe that is lower than any other, even Hell," He said, "A dungeon among dimensions. In that place, there is almost no reality, the only stability it gets is from other universes. In there, the Things-"(And Raven noted the capital letter) "-in there are constantly probing the multiverse, looking for a way out. If someone creates a tear deep enough, the Things will swarm into the hole and escape, taking on new shape and form…though they are very bad at it."

Raven, tired as she was, felt a light go on. "And is Gorac…?" She asked, trailing off.

Bob shrugged. "Who can say? _I've_ always thought so. Ahh, there we go!"

Elmo scurried over, holding up the Blue Cone for all to see. Bob took it and held it up for closer examination.

"Yes, this will do. With this thing's power, I should be able to get us out of this desert. Oh, and I think this belongs to you." Bob tossed Raven her cloak, which she held up for inspection. She frowned at the tears and singes, and hoof-prints. She raised an eyebrow at Bob.

"Hey, don't blame me," Bob replied, "I'm not the one who left her clothes on a battlefield."

Bob tapped the Blue Cone eight times, and a octarine light filled the room. As she sank into it's glow, she saw one last thing…

_Arella looked down at her baby, somberly contemplating the fate Raven will have to experience._

_Bob, his back to hers, asked, "So, you think that little sweetie will destroy the world?"_

_Arella nodded sadly. "It is beyond our power. All we can do is wait."_

_Bob shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much. These things usually work out themselves."_

_Arella looked up. "You mean, she will not bring about the apocalypse?"_

"_No, I just said it will work out. But, if something happens," Bob fished out a scrap of paper and began to write. "I recommend sending her to this planet. They're used to stuff like the end of the world. It'll be fine."_

_Bob tossed the paper over his head, and it fluttered down next to Arella's right foot. She didn't even look at it._

_Bob walked off, waving. "If I think of it, I'll come back in a few years to check up on things. See ya."_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Fascinating," Bob moved a pawn forward. "A fireplace appears sometimes?"

"Every Christmas. And we can't figure out why." Raven said, looking at the board.

"Interesting morphic effect, there."

True to Bob's words, he, Elmo, and the Titans had appeared in the main room of Titans Tower, bringing in minimal amounts of sand along the way. After placing Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy and Cyborg into the medical ward, Bob suggested Raven get some sleep, but she didn't want to sleep. Even though she was tired, she was also excited, as suddenly a world of possibilities opened up to her.

She hoped the feeling would fade.

And so, to pass time, the chess board had been brought out and they played, with a game against Elmo as the stakes.

After about seventy-eight minutes, Raven began to get worried. Her friends had not awoken.

"There's nothing else to do," Bob sighed, getting up. "I'll have to give them mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."

Almost instantly, the four Titans awoke.

"Never fails." Bob chuckled.

"I'm up! I'm up!" Vic yelled.

"Yeah, I'm…a pretzel?" Though Gar had reverted to human form, he was still tied in a knot and now looked like a circus contortionist.

"Whoops. Uh, I can fixed that." Bob walked over and, much against the changeling's will, tried to untangle him.

"Excuse me, but could someone tell me what has happened?" Kory asked, looking around.

"Yeah, last thing I remember is that weird masked guy appearing," Tim said, sitting up. "And now we're here. What's up?"

"Well, long story short," Bob said, pulling Gar's head free of his knee. "The day was saved by my new student, Raven. There we go!" He laughed as Gar fell back spread eagle.

"Student?" Vic asked, raising an eyebrow. "What's he mean by, 'student?'"

Raven moved her queen, putting Bob's king into check. "It's quite a story."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

A/N: I'm back, finishing this arc at last! It's been a long time. The concept of Octarine and the Dungeon Dimensions are from Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels. I may be showing more influence from Pratchett later on, once I get a certain email. But for now… Music, maestro!

_(Music starts up)_

When there's trouble

You know who to call

TEEN TITANS!

From their tower

They can see it all

TEEN TITANS!

When there's evil

On the attack

You can rest knowing

They got your back

Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol

TEEN TITANS, GO!

With their superpowers, they unite

TEEN TITANS!

Never met a villain that they liked

TEEN TITANS!

They've got the bad guys

On the run

They'll never stop

Till the job gets done

Cause when the world is losing all control

TEEN TITANS, GO!

TEEN TITANS, GO!

If your heart is black

You'd better watch out

You cannot escape the team

When they catch you

There won't be any doubt

You've been beaten by the team (Beaten by the team…)

T-E-E-N

T-I-T

A-N-S

TEEN

TITANS

Let's go!

T-E-E-N

T-I-T

A-N-S

TEEN

TITANS

Let's go!

T-E-E-N

T-I-T

A-N-S

TEEN

TITANS

Let's go!

T-E-E-N

T-I-T

A-N-S

TEEN

TITANS

Let's go!

T-E-E-N

T-I-T

A-N-S

TEEN

TITANS

Let's go!

When there's trouble

You know who to call

Teen Titans!

From their tower

They can see it all

Teen Titans!

When there's evil

On the attack

You can rest knowing

They got your back

Cause when the world needs heroes on patrol

TEEN TITANS, GO!

1, 2, 3, 4, GO!

TEEN TITANS!


	6. No Face and the Lobster 6

If one were to go high up, they would find a place.

This place is higher than the sky, higher than heaven, higher than the Earth- Higher than ever the very universe itself.

If you've reached oblivion, than you've gone to high.

It is in this place- higher than everything, but lower than nothing- The dedicated and lucky climber would find the place that is known by few as the Room of the High Ones.

The High Ones are beings of immense power, and even the gods, the ones that take a few minutes away from their busy schedules of gathering worshipers, fear them. They do not rule the multiverse as they occasionally nudge certain parts they are interested in to see what will happen if they do.

There are as many High Ones as there are thoughts, but we will focus on Four in particular.

One is a man whose appearance suggests terrible things to come, should anyone meet him in a dark ally. Large, muscular, completely bald with eyes as sharp as knives and fists that could shatter walnuts made of diamond, he is naked, save a pair of boxer shorts with little hammers dotted on.

The second is another man, this one much different from the first. Simply tall and skinny, he looks so frail that a sudden wind could push him over. He is aged, covered in wrinkles, with a white beard that long that it not only reaches the floor but is also trying to tunnel through it. His clothes consist of a white toga.

Next is a woman, wearing nothing but a nightclub dress. Curvaceous from every angle, she exhales temptation from every pore of her self, and only her eyes prevent here appearance from being truly glamorous.

And last is a white poodle, in a dress with poofy shoulders. That is all.

These Four look down upon the multitude of worlds before them, before concentrating on one that catches their interest.

"That one again?" Life barked, "I thought you were bored with that."

"I have taken in interest." Luck replied, not taking her eyes off the world beneath.

"It's gotten a bit too gloomy for my tastes." Fate remarked

"That man is there now, though," Time muttered, "We better be careful."

"If you three don't want to do anything, then just watch." Luck said, and reached down between her cleavages. From her perfectly shaped bosom she pulls a long stick, and with a snooker champ's talent, gives the world a soft nudge…

Cybertoy00 Presents

_Based on work by Legend Maker, Bobcat, Jedi-And, and Associates_

**Titan Legends**

Of Cabbages and Kings

"_What I like most about my job is going to new places and meeting new people." _Alexander the Great.

Part 6: No Face and the Lobster

It was a quiet day in Jump City- and everyone knew what that meant. Still, though the people of the city knew deep down in wouldn't last, they were endeavoring to enjoy it while they could.

In Titans Tower, the Titans were enjoying the nice, quiet day in three different ways.

Tim and Kory decided to spar, with Robin's skill against Starfire's power. However, the match quickly fell apart as both participants soon began to make out.

In Raven's room, the half-demon's day was soon commandeered by Bob, who felt it was a good day for a lesson in magic.

"I liked that crystal ball." Raven said stonily, staring at the broken artifact.

Bob licked his lips awkwardly as he examined the damage. "Sorry about that. I'll get you another crystal ball, I promise."

"It was a relic from Azarath."

"There are tons of relics from Azarath on the market! I'll get you _two _of them!"

And in the garage, Vic and Gar were working on Cyborg's baby, the T-Car. Well, Vic was working, Gar was making silly puns based various automobile parts.

"Yo, pass me the monkey wrench," Vic said, holding out a hand, his vision preoccupied with the Car's engine.

"Ook."

Knowing he'd regret it, Vic looked up and found a green monkey holding out the aforementioned tool.

"Oh, that's cute, BB," Vic groaned, suppressing a smirk. "You think of that all by yourself?"

"You're just jealous of my superb jokes." Gar laughed, becoming human.

"You don't have superb jokes. It's one of your good points." Vic replied, releasing the grin.

"I thought that was _my _good point."

Vic and Gar looked to the new and saw Noel Collins, the pretentiously-named (And possibly psychotic) anti-hero, Savior, master of an energy-thread known as Shimmer.

_**(Property: Legend Maker)**_

"Welcome back, grouchy!" Vic greeted, waving the wrench.

Noel looked around. "Wow. I was gone a whole month and the place is still standing."

"Hey, we can take care of ourselves. We just act crazy around you 'cuz we know it'll tick you off," Gar retorted, "So, how was the conference?"

The conference was a series of meetings held in Washington between the 'official' superhero teams and the government. Despite the risk of having so many normally outrageous individuals gathering in the same place, the conference was boring as hell, and so Noel, as the least liked Titan, was usually sent as the rep as the Teen Titans. He usually stayed in line when surrounded by members of more adult teams, such as the Justice League and Doom Patrol.

"Three words; Boring. As. Hell," Noel replied, sighing. "I'll see you later, I need something to drink."

As Noel left, Vic and Gar went back to the T-Car.

"Think we shoulda told him about Bob?" Gar asked.

"Nah, we'll leave that to Raven," Vic answered, "Now, give me 6/9ths wrench- I said 6/9ths, man! Not 5/8ths!"

"Dude, you didn't even look at it!" Gar yelled.

"Don't have to," Vic tapped his nose, "I got instincts."

There was the sound of tires screeching, followed by what sounded like an almost-fatal collision.

Gar glanced at Vic. "What do your instincts say about _that?_"

Vic met the glance and raised an eyebrow. "They say Nigel hasn't learned how to drive stick, yet."

"I can drive stick," An alien(In more ways than one) voice said, "It's just that someone left an oil slick where that last curve is supposed to be."

Two more figures entered the garage; Robert Candide, goofy wielder of an ancient object known as the Gauntlet.

_**(Property of Bobcat)**_

The second, more imposing figure was Nigicalnack Hastionfarlock, or Nigel Hastings, better known as the team doctor Scapel. His imposing stature was due to him being a member of the Blacktrinians, a race of alien invaders.

_**(Property of Jedi-And)**_

"Gar, be a pal and check the damage, would you?" Vic asked sarcastically.

Gar transformed his neck into a giraffe's and peeked into where Rob and Nigel had parked. He winced.

"I'll have you know, those dents were there before we left," Rob said, "And they certainly weren't my fault."

Nigel flicked Rob's ear.

"So," Gar's neck retracted back to its original form, "How was Uberton?"

Rob shrugged. "'Bout usual. Nothing out of the ordinary."

Vic and Gar looked to Nigel for confirmation. The Blacktrinian's ears twitched as he counted off his claws.

"We were almost eaten three times by mutant monsters, a horde of killer trees attacked the local high school, and Dr. Peregrine tried to use my blood to power his doomsday device."

"Like I said, 'bout usual."

Nigel gave him a look. Being made a donor for a nitro cannon's fuel tank was not what he called ''Bout usual''. Deciding not to pursue the subject, he asked, "Is Sophie back from her trip?"

Sophie Mathews, also known as the bat-swarm transforming Morgue, had left town on a personal matter about a week before.

"Not yet," Gar replied, before transforming into a dog. Sitting up on his hind legs, he asked, "So, whatdja bring me?"

"I dunno, how about… Granny Candide's world famous cookies!?" Rob asked, and whipped out a Technicolor cookie tin.

"Sweet!" Gar went back to human mode and tossed the tin's lid off. "Hey! What gives?!"

"Oh, uh," Rob had the decency to look guilty. "We might have had a few on the way home…"

"I only had one." Nigel commented, handing Vic the right sized wrench.

"Dude, it's completely empty! Did you lick the crumbs!?"

"Well… At leas the tin is nice, right?" Rob asked, grinning like man who sees the anvil coming down.

Gar checked the cookie tin again. His eyes widened. "Hey! This is the tin that went missing when you left!"

"Well, I had to bring homecoming gift to Grammy with _something!_"

This argument would have gone on forever, but the bickering was thankfully cut off by the sound of another Titan's entrance.

"Hey, guys! I'm back!" Tara Markov, the geokinetic Terra, greeted, walking in. She wasn't in her hero uniform, dressed casually in her traveling clothes.

"Hello, Tara," Nigel greeted, waving. Meanwhile, Gar had turned into a tiger and would have pounced if Rob hadn't grabbed his tail. "How was Twilight Town? Did you meet your pen pal?"

"I did one better," Tara said, "I brought him home!"

"Say what?" Vic asked, looking up.

"C'mon in, Blacky!" Tara called out, and a new, unfamiliar figure walked in. It was unlike anything the Titans had ever seen.

It was black. Not African black, but ink black. Like a living shadow that gained a third dimension. And while it was humanoid, it was not human. Its head was perfectly spherical, with only two large white eyes, like miniature moons, as its only facial feature. It was about as tall as Robin, but was hunched over, giving off an aura of fragility. Its hands were a bit larger than most, and it's feet were like oval-ish blobs.

The four boys stared at the black thing. The thing stared back.

Vic was the first to get his voice back. "And what…_who_…is that, Tara?"

"This is Black Odd, my pen pal," Tara introduced, "Blacky, these are the friends I told you about, the Teen Titans."

Black Odd bowed its(His? Her?) head. **"Hello. It is nice to meet you."**

Nigel rubbed his ear. Something about Black's voice sounded off to him. It seemed to echo from every pore of the creature's body, and it sounded like the speaker was talking from the bottom of deep cavern.

"See, Blacky is really self-conscious around people," Tara explained, as both sides continued to stare. "So I thought I'd show him that you don't have to completely normal to fit in. Help him learn to walk proud."

Gar, realizing that staring at the thing his girlfriend brought home would ruin his chances of getting to third base, was the first to snap out of his bewildered gaze.

"Well, ah, any friend of Terra's is a friend of ours!" He held out his hand in an invitation for a high-five. "Welcome to Titans Tower, dude!"

Black Odd stared at the open palm for a minute, before placing his own on top. Taking a soft grip, he shook.

"Um, that's not what you do."

"**Oh. Sorry."**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven got her first look at Black Odd when she saw the impromptu tour group formed for his benefit, just after welcoming Noel back.

"…And on your left, you'll see the evidence room," Vic, now wearing a little blue hat, gestured towards an open door. "Here, we keep souvenirs from our various crime-fighting adventures, such as the Puppet King's lifeless husk, or a hubcap from Ding Dong Daddy's car."

Raven raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know we were opening a hotel."

"Oh, hey Rae!" Gar waved. He pulled Black Odd up front. "This is Terra's pen pal!"

While Black Odd wasn't the most peculiar thing Raven had ever seen, he was worth a good stare.

"…Charmed." She said at last, shaking Black Odd's hand. Looking at the Titans, she asked. "Did you ask Robin if you could have sleep over?"

Tara shrugged. "I'm sure he won't mind."

"Speaking of won't mind…" Vic spoke up, "How did Noel take the Bob thing?"

"Who's Bob?" Nigel asked, his ears twitching.

Raven's eyes widened. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh?" Gar asked.

"I never told Noel about Bob."

"Who's Bob?" Tara asked.

Elmo chose that moment to hop onto Raven's shoulders.

"And where did that monkey come from?" Nigel asked, pointing a clawed finger.

"Oh, he's Bob's." Raven shrugged, subtly trying to shake Elmo off.

Rob formed a Gauntlet-made megaphone and yelled, "WHO THE HECK IS BOB!!?"

After the ringing left everyone's ears, they heard some soft yelling from the main room and some thuds.

"You'll find out." Raven said, leading the way.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

By the time the rest of the Titans (Including Robin and Starfire, the former of home had a few hickies on his face) and Black Odd arrived, whatever fight had happened was over. Bob was sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich. And Noel was…where was Noel?

"Bob, where's Noel?" Raven demanded. She scanned the room. Despite what everyone had heard, there seemed to be no visual sign a fight had broken out.

Bob, still chewing, pointed up. Following the point of his finger, the Titans and Black Odd looked to the ceiling and saw Savior, who was sporting several lumps on his head.

_**(Don't worry, Bob won't be a Gary Stu…I promise!)**_

"What happened?" Robin asked.

"It's my fault, to begin with," Bob said, after swallowing. "I felt some bad juju coming from him and thought he was another attacker, so I hit him against the floor. Then he swore a little and called me some nasty names, so I banged him against the ceiling a few times."

"Lower him down, _now_." Raven told him.

Bob shrugged, and placed the sandwich on the table. Looking up, he didn't see Silkie crawl up and devour the eatable.

"I'm going to let you down, now," Bob called up to Savior, "So, you can calm down."

That was all the warning Noel had as he shot down from the ceiling. Panicking, Raven and Gauntlet quickly moved to catch him with their energy powers. But, just before hitting, Savior froze in the air, and was gently set on the floor. As he was helped up by Cyborg, he opened his mouth- and no sound came out. His lips moved silently.

"Whoops, I almost forgot," Bob clapped his hands. "He was swearing so much that I muted him. Profanity is like wine; it should only be taken in small quantities."

Noel rubbed his jaw a few times, muttered "Ha" under his breath a few times to test his voice, and then asked, "Will someone tell me who the _Hell _this guy think he is?! I come home to find some loony going through our fridge, and then I'm being tossed around by some invisible force! _What the…_"

Whatever word Noel was going to say, it was prevented from leaving his mouth by Raven's powers.

"I'm going to explain what happened while you were gone," She said, not just to Noel, but to the other Extra Titans as well. "And if you have any questions, save them until I'm done."

_**(Three Hours Later…)**_

"Hey! That story wasn't three hours long!" Gauntlet yelled.

_**(It's called a shout out. Deal with it.)**_

"…And that's it," Raven finished, ignoring Gauntlet's attack against the Fourth Wall. It happened so much no one noticed anymore. "Bob's going to teach me magic from now on."

"You sure about this?" Terra asked.

Raven nodded. "Yes. With all the occult lunacy we face, I need to learn more. I need to be a stronger sorceress."

"What about all those spells Malchior beamed into your head?" Gauntlet asked, leaving the Fourth Wall.

Savior scowled. He hated thinking about that incident. He never thought he could lose his girlfriend to a book.

"That's why I need a teacher," Raven said, "Malchior didn't tell me those spells were dark magic, and you can bet he left out more important details as well. I need to know what those spells are…and I need to know now."

"Why? You're not going to use them." Noel asked.

"Because!" Raven yelled, causing everyone except for Bob to jump. "Just not using them _doesn't help! _I can feel them in my head, trying to get free! Every time we go into battle, they all rise up and try to force their way out! And there's no telling what'll happen if they do!" Taking a deep breath, she continued. "That's why I want Bob around. He can help me figure out what each spell does, and can help undo the damage it causes when released."

"Should be interesting." Bob commented.

Noel's eyes narrowed. Was Raven actually going to trust this guy? After the mind games he played with her, after kidnapping the rest of the core Titans? After what had happened with _Malchior?_ Slowly and cautiously, a Shimmer tendril snaked out and across the floor.

"So, we've got a full-fledge super-wizard on our side?" Terra asked, "Cool!"

"No, you don't," Bob said shortly, "My involvement with you lot is strictly for Raven's magical training. If you jump into something you can't hop out of, I won't lift a finger. Unless I already had a hand in it, in which case, I'll probably lift a finger to wag at you."

Unnoticed by anyone, the Shimmer slowly went up alongside Bob's leg.

"You seem to think that having magical powers can make life better," Bob was now in what Raven called, 'lecture-mode'. "But all magic does is make life more _interesting_. You can't just wave a wand and wish your problems away. A whole new set of problems would drop in your laps right away."

The Shimmer was up to his armpit. And still no one noticed.

"In my opinion, the best mages are the ones who can solve their problems with the least amount of magic," Bob continued, "Too much magic can cause catastrophic ripples in reality, anyway."

It was then that the Shimmer went into Bob's left ear. It was in this manner that Noel could 'link-up' with someone's brain, using the Shimmer- which was mutant extension of his own nervous system- to go in and 'download' whatever information he wanted from the unlucky victim's mind, even controlling them to a limited degree.

But instead of doing anything like that, Noel suddenly screamed bloody murder and fell to the floor, shrieking. The other Titans rushed to his aid.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

After calming Noel down, and giving him a sedative prescribed by Scapel, the rest of the Titans went their separate ways. Robin and Starfire resumed their 'sparing session'- And this time, they were really going to spar, honest!- Nigel went out to pick up Sophie from the airport, with an oddly fidgety Gauntlet tagging along. He said he wanted to meet someone there…

Raven, Elmo, and Bob decided to watch Noel, leaving Terra, Beast Boy, and Cyborg with Black Odd.

"So…Blacky," Gar began, as they walked down the hall. "Tell us about yourself."

Black Odd looked up, deep in thought apparently. **"I think…I was born in Twilight Town."**

"You think?" Cyborg asked.

"**All I know for certain was that I became aware of my existence 16 years ago in an abandoned temple," **Black Odd explained, **"Before that… I don't know."**

There was a pause.

"Um, you have any friends in Twilight Town?" Gar asked awkwardly.

"**No. Whenever I went out in the streets, I would stay in the shadows. The people… The people were so different, looked so unlike myself that I was afraid… Afraid of being rejected. I did not know how to interact with them, so I watched, from a distance. Tara was the first person I have ever spoken to." **Black Odd explained. His echoing tone made his speech sound…mournful. It made Beat Boy think of the day he met Vic…

"_There! Take a good long look!" Snapped the tall figure, ripping the hood of his half-robotic head. "I had an accident, and now I'm a monster, all right!? A cyborg!"_

"If you've never talked to anyone before, how'd you sign up for the pen pal service?" Vic asked, "Or learn to read and write?"

"**I learned how from the children," **Black Odd said, **"Whenever I watched them in their school, I would listen to the teachers as well. As for joining the service, I did so at night when the post office was closed." **Black Odd looked thoughtful. **"I did everything in secret, when no one could see…"**

"What about your name? Who started calling you Black Odd?" Gar asked.

"**Up until I joined the service, I had no name," **Black Odd answered, **"I had no one to relate to, and only knew myself as me. But when I got to the part of the form that required a name, I had to write something."**

"So, why Black Odd?" Vic asked, "That's not exactly a normal name."

"**I just needed to write something for the form," **Black Odd said, **"The post office was where two roads intersected- Black Street and Odd Avenue."**

Cyborg wisely chose not to comment, but suddenly realized how much sense those weird letters Tara got made now.

"**So, I wrote letters with the name Black Odd, and as time went on, came to think of it as my name," **Black Odd continued, **"And it was…nice. I had someone to talk to. I didn't realize it before, but I was lonely. But when Tara wrote that she was coming to visit, I was afraid…I was afraid she would not accept me."**

Terra thought back to when she first met Black Odd…

"_What do you mean, 'He doesn't live here?'" Tara asked the man at the door, "This is 369 Glenn Way, right?"_

"_Right," The man at the door said, "And there's nobody called 'Black Odd' livin' here. It's just me and my cats."_

_What sounded like a tiger's roar sounded from the living room._

"_But I've been getting letters from here…" Tara began, but was cut off by the man._

"_I don't know whose been sendin' you letters, but if you've sending _me_ letters, don't," the man said, "I get enough junk mail to throw out as it is."_

_The man slammed the door on her, cutting off any response Tara might have had. Sighing, she turned and walked away. She got about three steps when she heard a voice._

"_**Mm, excuse me…"**_

_Turning around, she saw a somewhat shadowy figure cautiously edge out from an alleyway…_

"Hey, after fighting all the _real _freaks I wrote you about," Tara said, "There was no way I wouldn't accept you."

"**What about the people who **_**don't **_**fight monsters?" **Black Odd asked, sounding worried. **"Will they accept me?"**

"They will!" Tara insisted, "We'll help! Right?" That last question was directed towards the sympathetic Vic and Gar.

"No problem! Just leave it to us!" Gar agreed, giving the blond and the Black a thumbs up. He then whispered to Vic, "How?"

"Well, we can't just go on TV and tell everyone to like you," Vic said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "But maybe we can do something about you're appearance so you don't stand out so much."

"Uh…Cy? I don't think plastic surgery would work." Gar said, and got a whack upside the head for his comment.

"I _meant_, we could give him so new clothes." Vic explained irritably.

Black Odd examined himself. **"But, I'm not wearing any clothes."**

"_Exactly._"

Tara smiled. "To the wardrobe department!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

As they arrived at the Jump City airport, Nigel noticed that Rob was getting more edgy by the minute. When he questioned him about this, Rob would claim it to having "Too-too much caffeine!" and promptly changed the subject.

"Alright, Sophie's plane lands at gate D13," Nigel said, looking at the flight board under arrivals. "So, we have to go… Hey, where are you going!?"

Rob was making a hasty retreat in the exact opposite direction Nigel was going in. "See ya later, say hi to Sophie for me!"

Nigel stared at Rob's retreating backside before resuming his walk to gate D13. Clutching his head, he said, "God, I will never understand humans…or Robert Candid, for that matter."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back in the Titans Tower main room, Noel Collins finally regained consciousness. He was lying on the couch, with Raven looking over his face…and Elmo in his hair.

"Noel, are you okay?" Raven asked, concerned.

"What…happened?" Noel asked, his head still throbbing. Those images…that _feeling_…

"I can explain."

All three turned to look at Bob, who was making another sandwich.

"Raven tells me that you can link up with someone's brain to read their thoughts," Bob said, "When you tried to go into my head, you got hit by my thought static."

"Thought…static?" Noel asked, sitting up. The throbbing was starting to fade.

"You think you're the first person who's tried to read my mind?" Bob chuckled, "Hardly. So many people have picked my brain that I've developed a reflexive counter."

"What did you do?" Raven asked.

"Basically, I gave Shimmer-boy here the feeling of my pain- y'know, the sensation of mental and physical anguish. Not what happened- But the knowledge that it felt _bad_."

"It wasn't just bad- It was _horrifying!_" Noel groaned.

Bob shrugged. "I've been through a lot. Seen some pretty nasty stuff. Heard it, too." Taking Noel's shoulder, he said, "I would advise against 'brain-tapping' from now on, though- You keep connecting brains and there's no telling where you'll end up."

Noel looked away and scowled. After being able to go into anyone's mind, this little development soured his disposition even more. "Feh… Well, maybe you can answer this- Why is this monkey combing through my hair for?" He chuckled humorlessly. "Fleas?"

"I doubt it. Elmo has plenty of fleas."

"GAH!"

"He keeps them in a jar on the mantle."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

They say that clothes made the man.

And they're wrong. Clothes do not make a man. To make a man, another man and a woman have to engage in a certain physical ceremony, and even then they have a 50-50 chance of success.

However, attire was a necessary attribute to take into consideration, especially when one is about to go out into the world. How you look can decide whether or not you blend in or stand out of the crowd- for better or worse.

Take Superman, for example. When you get right down to it, he's not that well disguised. No mask to hide his face, and a skin-tight uniform that was just one step away from being _too revealing_. So, how could he pose as a normal man during his breaks from fighting the never-ending battle?

The fact was that nobody ever looked at Superman's face. They just saw that big, honkin' S on his chest. And the cape, everyone loved the cape. No one would tell it was him if he wore a normal business suit.

Which is why Terra, Beast Boy, and Cyborg decided that if Black Odd was going to join society, he should at least try to dress the part. With the right uniform, no one would notice Black Odd's…visual abnormalities. They would only seen his clothes.

So the real question was, what would be appropriate? The Titans had plenty of clothes outside of their uniforms (For undercover work, casual day, and assorted sillyness), but figuring out what Black Odd could wear was a chore.

For one thing, the unique shape of his feet made it impossible for him to wear shoes. And dresses were out, too, mainly because they looked weird. Dark clothes weren't even considered for the fact that they ruined the effect.

The first outfit was something akin to hippies- every inch of the fabric was tie-dye, making Black Odd look like a rainbow had thrown up on him. He also wore a headband and a peace medallion.

"Far out, but not what we're looking for." Tara decided.

The next costume was white disco suit, complete with a pink afro wig.

"Dude, if disco does make a comeback, it won't be here." Gar declared, giving the outfit a thumbs down.

Then he came out in some kind of Mr. Miracle design.

"We wanna avoid any lawsuits here, BO." Vic told him.

After about a half hour, they managed to find some that worked; light blue pants, a white shirt, and a jungle green jacket.

Tara rubbed her chin. "Something's missing…"

Gar brightened as inspiration struck. "I know!"

The green shifted rushed out, and was back instantly with a red baseball cap in his hands. On the front of the cap was a picture of a galaxy. He fitted the cap onto Black Odd's head. Stepping back, he reviewed the complete work with Tara and Vic.

"Now, that's what I'm talking about!" Vic proclaimed.

Black Odd checked himself in the mirror. **"It's…good?"**

"I think it's perfect," Tara nodded. She jerked a thumb over her shoulder and made for the door. "Let's go test it out in town."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Sophie Matthews, _**(Property: Jedi-And)**_ otherwise known Morgue, did not what one would call the traditional body shape of a heroine. Unlike _those _girls, who traditionally strove for figures akin to an hourglass, Sophie's figure had something extra in the middle. Several pounds worth of something. And that's not to say she didn't strive for the hourglass look, it's just that she had significantly less success than most heroines. But, as everyone (Even Terra) would say, she had a _wonderful _personality.

Not that this mattered Nigel, who still didn't understand human culture, though he was making progress.

"Welcome back to Jump City," He said to his girlfriend, as they made their way to the luggage pick-up. "How was the 'Undertakers Unlimited World Conference in Romania'?"

Sophie groaned. "It was awful. I don't even know why I went."

"I'm sure the Author doesn't know either," Nigel replied, ignoring the fall of the Fourth Wall. "Well, since Robert isn't here, I thought _someone _should do it!"

"Where _is _Rob?" Sophie asked, "I thought he was coming with you."

"He was, but he ran off for some reason," Nigel explained, "He's been acting even stranger than usual…"

Nigel's then ears twitched- He had much better hearing than normal humans, and in his musings, he faintly heard a familiar voice, accompanied by an unfamiliar voice.

"You picked a good time to visit Jump, there's an anime convention…"

"I know!"

Nigel, following the sound, and Sophie, following Nigel, turned their heads and saw Rob, walking next to a cute Japanese girl who appeared to be around his age. The girl was wearing a green skirt, a white shirt with an ax on the front, and a blue coat. Her short, neck-length hair was done up in a ponytail, except for two strands that hung over her ears in the traditional _hime _cut. Behind the two of them was a suitcase with numerous anime stickers that Rob was pulling with his Gauntlet. Nigel and Sophie stared at the two as they left the airport.

"I thought he didn't have a girlfriend." Sophie said at last.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Robert 'Gauntlet' Candid did not have a girlfriend. No one knew this better than he did, much to his consternation. He had girls of the week, but unfortunately, not one of them called him back, and when he called them, they claimed to be busy washing their hair. Some just vanished off the face of the Earth.

But at the moment, not having a girlfriend was working to his advantage, as he was now busy with a Friend Who Was A Girl.

Yohko and Rob went way back. A member of a family of martial artists practicing an illegal art, Yohko met Rob when her clan visited Uberton during their kindergarten years. The two hit it off immediately, especially when they hit her brother Kurai with water balloons. Yohko, after years of putting up with her tight-laced, honor obsessed brother, found Rob's nonsensical antics immensely endearing, while Rob liked having a friend who wouldn't shake their head in dismay.

Yeah, it was one of _those _relationships.

_**(Property of Bobcat…I guess.)**_

"So, after we get you checked into your hotel," Rob said, "What do you wanna do first? Hit the pier side fair? Check out Ocean World? Go to the prison and make fun of the convicts?"

"Well, all of that does sound fun," Yohko said, _as heaven's light shone down on her beautiful face, making her captivating eyes sparkle. _"But there's something else I want to do first."

Rob shook his head. What just happened? "Er, what?"

Yohko stared at Rob, before mischievously smiling _a smile that gleam in such a way that made all of the most valued gems on Earth dull by comparison. _(Rob shook his head again, this time hitting himself)

"Rob-_kun_…" Yohko began, her smile dropping. "I have…urges."

Rob snapped out of his self-injuring to look at Yohko. "Ur-urges?"

"There are times where I can't feel fulfilled with sillyness," Yohko said, stepping closer to him. "I need something else."

"S-something else?" Rob asked, beginning to sweat.

"I could get it from any _bouya_," Yohko explained, now in a husky tone. "But I want it from _you_." Yohko pressed her body against Rob's. And while she wasn't voluptuous, she wasn't flat-chested either, and the pressure from her mummeries were wreaking havoc with several of Rob's glands.

"Glah… Wha-whaddya want…?" Rob asked, his heart rate accelerating, God knows why.

"I want…" Yohko breathed into his ear, before saying normally, "Pizza."

"_You want pizza!?_" Rob cried, facefaulting.

Yohko giggled, momentarily growing whiskers. "Well, what did you think I wanted?"

Rob chose not to answer. However, part of him was thinking, _Phew, she only wants lunch, _while another, somewhat lower part, was thinking, _Damn, she only wants lunch._

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In the Titans Tower main room, Noel sat on the couch, glowering at Bob and Raven, who were looking out the window. Actually, he was glowering at Bob, and Raven was just caught in the crossfire.

He didn't trust Bob. Why should he? The man _kidnapped_ the other Titans. _And _he messed around with Raven's head. How could Raven trust him? She was usually smarter than that…

Noel's inner-hate fest was interrupted by a tugging on his pant leg. Looking down, he saw Elmo holding up a Chinese checkers board.

"What? You wanna play?" Noel asked sardonically.

"Ook."

Noel took that to mean yes. And so, with the air of someone who has decided he can't escape the falling anvil, Noel set up the board.

Meanwhile, Bob and Raven continued to talk.

"Look, will you get off the ball-thing?" Bob asked, "You don't even need it!"

Raven crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Diving's easy, once you know the basic theory. Any sort of reflective surface will do- Here, watch." Bob produced a kettle from his trench coat and poured himself a pot of tea. After he finished pouring, he held out the 'World's Greatest Dad' mug to Raven. "Look, and tell me what you see."

"Ripples" Was Raven's immediate answer.

"Just wait for the water to settle." Bob told her.

Three minutes later, the tea was still rippling.

"Bob, the tea won't calm down. Why?" Raven asked, glancing at the Magician.

"Someone must be trying to contact us," Bob mused, "But who…"

An image appeared in the tea. It was of a beautiful woman who, despite being completely naked, managed to avoid breaking any laws of decency by being wrapped in snakes.

"Oh. Hello, Hannah." Bob said, rolling his eyes.

"Hello, Bob," The woman said, with a voice like poisoned honey. She looked at Raven. "Who's _that?_"

Bob shrugged. "That's Raven, my new student."

"Oh," Now Hannah's tone changed, from poisoned honey to honeyed poison. "I didn't know you were _that _way."

Bob rolled his eyes skyward. _Tell an hourglass figure you don't care for her personality, and the things people say…!_

"Do you have some point to make?" Raven asked the mug.

"No, not really…just, look out your window, will you?"

Bob and Raven looked. They saw how beautiful the ocean looked with the sun shining down on it.

"Nice." Raven commented.

"Very therapeutic." Bob added.

"Look the other way…morons."

Bob and Raven turned their gaze towards the city. A giant lobster thing was rampaging amongst the metropolis.

"_SKREEOOORRK!!_" It shrieked.

Raven's eyes widened. "That's…big."

"Isn't it, though? You should see how big it gets when it reaches the water. Have fun!"

As Hannah's image faded from the tea, Bob asked dryly, "Hannah, have you ever thought about finding a man and settling down…?"

Ignoring Bob's comments, Raven used her powers to hit the big read button marked ALARM- PRESS ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES. (With a little note that said, 'This means you, Beast Boy- R') As the klaxons blared, Noel abandoned his (Losing) game with Elmo while Robin and Starfire (The former of which still had a slight hickey on his neck) rushed in.

"What's the emergency?!" Robin demanded.

"Look out the window." Raven told them.

They looked.

"Oh, how nice." Robin nodded.

"Very therapeutic." Noel added.

Raven felt a vein throb.

"I think Raven is referring to the giant lobster thing going 'Skreork' whilst rampaging in the city." Starfire commented, pointing.

Robin and Savior looked, and both jumped in alarm.

"Where did that thing come from?!" Savior.

"It's just a little nuisance from a one-time tennis partner." Bob said, apparently more preoccupied with the tea than the lobster.

Robin whirled at Bob. "You mean we have to deal with _another _of your enemies!? _Again?!_"

"I should hope not. I'll take care of it." Bob replied airily.

"Then deal with it," Noel hissed, "_Now!_"

"I doubt I can do anything now." Bob remarked, pursing his lips in thought. His head was pulled down to Noel's face by the Shimmer. "Whoa!"

"You're the big-shot, all-knowning, master Magician," Noel snarled, "And this is your problem- _so solve it_."

Bob casually cut the Shimmer off with scissors- Noel fell to the floor, screaming- and straightened up. "Maybe I better show you…"

In one smooth movement, Bob upended his mug over his open palm. Instead of splashing down on the floor and staining the rug, the tea floated above his hand, forming a ball. The ball began to spin, and as it spun it glowed bright colors, different to those watching. While Robin, Starfire, and Savior saw the normal colors of the rainbow, Raven saw Octarine.

"Someone open the window." Bob ordered.

After Starfire pushed open the sheet of glass that overlooked the city, Bob pulled the hand with the glowing tea-ball back.

"By Winds of Eagles! Fantastic Flights, fly! Change the world!!" Bob declared, and threw the ball out, where it left a multicolored trail in the air as it flew.

**I didn't NEED to say all that stuff, **Bob thought at Raven, **But if you make magic look too easy, they'll just ask for more.**

The ball of empowered tea continued its unchanging flight, barreling down onto the Giant Lobster Thing (PP).

However, when it struck, the ball bounced off of the gargantuan crustacean's shell with a splank, turning Jack Djinn into a clown._**(1)**_

The ones at the Tower stared.

"So…" Raven said, breaking the silence. "Immune to magic, huh?"

"Eh, I'll think of something." Bob shrugged, putting away the mug.

"We don't have time for you to think!" Robin yelled, and waved the Titans in for a Pre-Play Huddle. "Alright, here's what we do! Star, I want you to fly in and see if you can't keep that thing from hurting people!"

"By myself?" Starfire asked, amazed at what she perceived to be Robin's orders.

"No, I'll radio the others and you'll have their support," To Raven and Savior, he said, "Raven, Noel, I want you to get the T-Ship ready for take-off. I'll be in the R-Cycle."

"T-Ship? R-Cycle?" Noel's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Robin, you're not saying…"

"What I'm saying is, Titans, GO!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

At Al's Pizza Shack, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Terra were treating Black Odd to lunch, which proved to be a show in its own right. Lacking a visible mouth (Or maybe even a mouth at all…), any food Black Odd would simply vanish underneath his eyes. It was similar to watching a ship enter the Bermuda Triangle. The downside was that they were so busy watching this phenomena that Black Odd managed to eat three slices before any of them ate one.

"_SKREEOOORRK!!_"

Black Odd put down the fourth slice he was eating. **"What is that noise?"**

The three Titans looked up to see the GLT screeching and rampaging down the street.

"Dude!" Beast Boy cried, "Who ordered the seafood!?"

The beeping of their T-coms just managed to make themselves heard over all the ruckus.

"Cyborg! Terra! Beast Boy!" Robin yelled, "There's a giant monster running loose in the city!"

"Really!" Cyborg shot back, "I hadn't noticed!"

Robin ignored the sarcasm. "I want you to go collect Morgue in the T-Car, then meet Raven, Savior and I at these coordinates," the communicator displayed an address. "Beast Boy, I want you and Terra to assist Starfire with keeping civilians safe!"

"What about Gauntlet and Scapel?" Terra asked, pulling her personal boulder out of the T-Car's trunk.

"They're going to help you. Robin out!"

"You heard the man!" Cyborg yelled, and leapt into the T-Car's driver's seat.

"**What am I supposed to do?" **Black Odd asked, now on his fifth slice.

"Just find a safe place- Away from the lobster!" Beast Boy yelled, turning into a seagull.

"**Okay." **

And with that, Black Odd got up, adjusted his hate, and walked away- it was a strange, flip-flopping stride, as each leg lifted up straight, only to come down bent, as if he remembered that he had knees, and kept his arms limp.

Once again, the three Titans stared at their new friend, this time at his retreating back.

"Uh…anyway…" Cyborg shook himself, "Titans, go!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"…And that's the plan," Robin finished over Scapel's T-com, "I want you to help Starfire, Beast Boy, Terra and Gauntlet keep civilians safe while the rest of us deal with that lobster directly, understand?"

Scapel leaned back against the telephone booth Sophie was using to change into her Morgue outfit.

"I comprehend your current strategy," Scapel replied, "But, I know Gauntlet will not be happy with it. After all, you promised that the next time we use that…"

"I know what I promised him, but there's no time!" Robin told him, "We can't wait for Cyborg to pick him up- The T-Car's route goes directly past you, it's faster."

"Affirmative." Scapel cut the connection, just as Morgue, fully costumed, came out.

"Some welcome back party," The mortician-meta remarked, checking her tranquilizer. "Next time, I'd just prefer a light lunch."

"We'll see what I can do," Scapel said, giving his cane a twirl.

There was a beep, and they saw the T-Car drive up.

_I wonder how many traffic laws he broke to get here so quickly. _Scapel thought.

"Yo, welcome back to Jump!" Cyborg yelled to Morgue as she climbed into shotgun. "I hope you like seafood!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

After breaking contact with Scapel, Robin quickly dialed up Gauntlet. In the distance, he saw the T-Ship rise up from the ocean surrounding Titans Tower Island.

_I hope he doesn't complain _too _much… _Robin thought, leaning against his R-Cycle.

There was a beep as his signal was answered- but not by Robert Candid.

"_Moshi moshi_!" A cute, Japanese girl's appeared on the screen. "This is Rob-_kun_'s phone. Rob-_kun_ is busy fighting a _kaiju _at the moment and can't talk at the moment. Would you like to leave a message?"

While Robin was getting used to the weirdness Robert Candid seemed to attract, this was the limit. "Who the hell are you?" He blurted without thinking. When did Gauntlet have a secretary?!

"I'm Yohko, who first appeared in a flashback during Bobcat's Epic of Gauntlet," the girl explained, "Rob-_kun_ gave me his communicator and told me to take his calls while he fights for truth, justice, and pizza." The image on the T-Com's screen shifted to show the GLT, on top of which Robin could just make out sparks and flashes of yellow energy- Rob's Gauntlet in action.

Deciding that there was no time to bicker, and that he faintly recalled hearing about Yohko somewhere in Rob's debut story, Robin told her, "Well, give..._Rob-Kun_…this message…"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Ordinarily, Gauntlet would love fighting a giant monster, and was doing so with gusto. One of the perks of being a superhero was the clash with inflated freaks of nature. However, his current one-sided duel with the Giant Lobster Thing was being hampered by the fact he couldn't get over that Yohko looked _so good_ in the right light…or the wrong one, something deeper than his gut told him.

Another annoyance was the unnatural endurance the GLT possessed. Nothing he could create with his Gauntlet, could hurt it, be it hammers, spikes, or elongated nut-crackers. As he formed a giant drill, the GLT bucked, knocking him off. Luckily (Or, for his machismo, _unluckily_), Yohko caught him before he could put a Gauntlet shaped hole in the pavement.

"I meant to do that." He told her, in a desperate half-assed attempt to remain cool.

"No, you didn't," Yohko replied shortly. Setting her childhood friend down, she said, "You're leader Robin called. He says you are to keep civilians safe, that Beast Boy, Starfire, Terra and Scapel are coming to help, and magic can't harm the _kaiju_." She scrunched up her face in thought. "Oh, he also says he is sorry for not including you this time. What do you suppose that means?"

"Not including me?" Gauntlet wondered aloud. He looked up at the GLT, and put 2 and 2 together. "That bastard!"

"What?" Yohko asked.

"You'd think after all we've been through, they could at least indulge just once! _Just once!_"

"How?" Yohko asked again.

"Well, fine! Who needs 'em? I can take this Godzilla reject on my own!" Gauntlet formed a yellow pogo stick. "Yoicks, and away…!"

"But, Rob-_kun_, the lobster can't be hurt by your object, remember?" Yohko reminded him, causing him to halt in mid-bounce.

"Hmm… True. Well, like they say, if you can't beat 'em," Gauntlet donned a ten-gallon cowboy hat, "Tame 'em! Yeehaw!"

Gauntlet the Kid resumed his leap back onto the GLT's back, and quickly reformed his pogo-stick into something resembling a leash.

"Git along, ya little doggy! Ya! Yah!" the wannabe cowboy yelled, trying with much effort to keep the Lobster from smashing more buildings. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yohko back into an alleyway.

Meanwhile, the other Titans arrived on the scene.

"Looks like Rob could use some help!" Beast Boy yelled, turning into an eagle.

"I'll say, who does he think he is, Pecos Bill!?" Terra asked, floating in on her Personal Boulder.

"Well, he's got the right idea," Scapel admitted, "Any way we can add to it?"

"We must fan out and keep innocents out of harm's way!" Starfire ordered.

As the Titans moved around, a beam of energy shot out and struck the Lobster in one of its eyes, enraging it.

"Hm!?" Starfire looked around wildly. "Who did that!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Yohko, her hands smoking, whispered, "_Ganbatte_, Titans-_tachi_, Rob-_kun_."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, Robin saw the T-Car approaching. It was time.

"Titans…" He ordered, "Together!"

As each vehicle changed their configuration, the song _I Am Impact _from the Ganbare Goemon series began to play.

_DASH! DASH! DASH!_

_**(Translated)**_

_The burning sun, gleaming on my shoulders_

_Here we go, start, the machine comes alive_

"Was Gauntlet messing with this thing?" Robin asked as his R-Cycle became a head. "Where's that music coming from?"

_I am machinery, I am a metal being (Hey!)_

_Jump out onto the sky, steel spirit_

As the T-Ship became a torso and arms, Savior muttered, "I can't believe we're using this again…"

"Quiet." Raven told him. She was indifferent to the whole thing, to be honest.

_(Let's go!)_

_Breakdown!_

_And with all my might,_

_Power to the highest limit, Super Punch!_

"Well, you gotta admit, it does adds tone." Cyborg defended, as the T-Car became a pair of legs.

"I feel like we're in a bad Power Rangers clone." Morgue groaned. This was her first time with this thing, and she was a bit worried. She knew how those rubbery Japanese giant battles ended.

_I am the best, yes, Impact_

The Head connected with the Torso, which connected with the Legs to become…

"Titans Go-Bot 5!" the Five Titans proclaimed.

_DASH! DASH! DASH!_

"Right! We have to get that Giant Lobster out of the city!" Robin ordered as the music ended. "And we have to keep it away from the coast, right, Raven?"

"That's right," Raven affirmed, "Judging from what Hannah said, that thing could get bigger if underwater."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Cyborg asked rhetorically. "Let's go kick some Japanese monster butt! Booyah!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, the GLT and the Titans present had come to an understanding. The Lobster understood that it was supposed to go around screaming, while smashing up buildings during its merry stroll down the street, and the Titans understood that they were supposed keep the rubble and the flailing pincers from hurting innocent bystanders.

"Scapel, that car!" Starfire shrieked, "Children!"

The Blacktrinian moved swiftly, grabbing the two moppets and jumping away from the impact of a car thrown skyward and downward by a Lobster tail.

"Cool!" The kiddies shrieked.

"Why haven't you two run home?" Scapel asked them.

"Cause we wanna watch you guys beat up the monster!" The little boy a baseball cap worn backwards said.

"Go home," Scapel ordered. When they didn't move, he added. "Or I'll eat you."

That did it. Scapel wondered how much damage to his public image that little bout of on-the-fly child-rearing caused.

Suddenly, there was a stomp. Then another.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

In one smooth motion, the Titans Go-Bot 5 jumped down in front of the GLT, the impact of its landing causing EVERYONE to stop what they were doing and look.

The Go-Bot jerked a thumb at itself, and over a loudspeaker, Cyborg asked, "Yeah, you know I'm cool."

"Damn you, Robin!" Gauntlet yelled.

"Gauntlet, clear out!" Robin ordered, ignoring the jeer. "We don't want you getting hurt as well."

From the relative safety of her alleyway, Yohko looked up at the giant combined mecha.

"A giant Titans robot…" She giggled. "_Sugoi!_"

From an even safer vantage point several buildings away, Black Odd stared at the showdown in the making.

"**Where did that giant come from?" **He wondered aloud.

"Alright, let's get this show going," Cyborg muttered, and punched some commands into his controls. "Super Sonic Cannon…"

The Go-Bot raised an arm-cannon to bare on the Lobster…

"Cyborg, we don't want to destroy the city with it!" Savior yelled at him.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Cyborg rubbed his head sheepishly.

"Let's just stick to the basics," Robin ordered, "Go-fists, attack!"

The Go-Bot took the stance of an unprofessional boxer and delivered two left jabs and a right hook onto the Lobster's face. The Lobster reeled back in pain, screaming.

"I wish that thing would not do that." Scapel muttered, clutching his hypersensitive ears.

The Lobster rushed back at the Go-Bot with such speed and force that the surprised Titans piloting it had no time to respond and were shoved back. Hard.

"Morgue, you were supposed to strengthen the legs!" Robin yelled as they flew.

"Sorry!" Sophie cried, "It's not like I'm good at this! This is my first time!"

"Oof!"Raven grunted as she felt her seat shake. "I hope Bob comes up with something soon, or I'll lose my lunch."

**Raven, are you busy?**

Raven's eyes widened. _Bob! Where are you!?_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

**I'm in this little field outside of the town, **Bob thought at her, **I think I know how to get rid of that thing, but I could use your help.**

Bob leaned on the shovel he'd been using and wiped his brow. This was hard work!

**Can you come over?**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven gritted her teeth. _I'm kind of busy…! _She thought angrily. So far, all their attacks had done nothing to the GLT except make it determined to crush the Go-Bot. And since they were fighting defensively, this meant they couldn't use the Go-Bot's more powerful weapons. And since she was operating one of the arms, that meant she couldn't just _leave…_

Could she?

_Give me five minutes._

**Take your time. No rush.**

Spotting Gauntlet down below, she activated her communicator. "Robin, I have to go. Bob's figured out how to get rid of the Lobster. He needs my help."

"You can't just leave," Robin told her, "You're piloting the robot, remember?"

"I have a replacement," She told him, and cut the connection. Calling Gauntlet, she asked, "Robert, you still want to pilot the Go-Bot, right?"

"Damn straight!"

"Then hang on. _**Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos!**_"

There was a black flash, and Raven vanished from her cockpit. In her place was Gauntlet.

"Huh? What th…" Confusion gave way to excitement as Rob realized where he was. "Ohhh, yeah…"

To everyone's surprise, the Go-Bot did a theatrical spin before posing.

"Super!"

"Dammit, who let Rob in!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven, meanwhile, reappeared where Bob was. While Bob's lessons in energy efficiency were helping, she still felt a chunk of her endurance go as she teleported.

"I'm here, Bob. What do you have in mind?" She asked. Bob tossed her a shovel. She stared at it. "Did I miss something?"

"We can't destroy that Lobster without wrecking the city," Bob told her, "So, we have to send someplace else."

Raven didn't budge. "A teleportation spell?"

"Close," Bob grinned, "The thing's immune to magic, so we have to make a portal," He gestured to a large circle of runes painted into the grass. "Just dig where I've traced it out. I'll work one side while you do the other."

Raven sighed, and began to concentrate. "_**Azarath…**_"

"No magic," Bob ordered, "We have to carve the runes by hand. If we form the runes out of magic, the Lobster's shield might knock them away and we'll never be rid of it."

Bob whipped his own shovel and began to dig. Raven, after a moment's thought, began to dig as well.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The fight against the Giant Lobster Thing was not going well for the Titans Go-Bot 5, mostly due to a non-consensus of opinion among its pilots.

Gauntlet wanted use a plethora of fighting moves straight out of shonen series, and Cyborg was frequently attempting to bust out the Go-Bot's advanced weapons. Savior was furious that Gauntlet had been allowed into the Go-Bot at all, for the same reason that Gauntlet wanted to pilot it, and Morgue, who had not been taught how to operate combine mecha's at driver's ed', was still trying to get a hold of working her leg. In the middle of it all was Robin, who was currently experiencing the task-manager's nightmare.

Outside, the rest of the Titans minus Raven were trying to support the best they could, which wasn't much outside of making sure there was nobody around to get hurt. Any attempts to attack the Lobster were met either indifference or rage from the crustacean.

"There must be something we can do…" Scapel muttered, when Terra landed beside him. "Hmm? What are you doing?"

"I've got an idea," the blond told him, "I can't use my full powers without wrecking the city…"

"A risk we all know about." Scapel interjected.

"…But, I think I can do something with what I can use," Terra went on, ignoring the interruption. She hopped off of Personal Boulder and onto the street. "I need to really concentrate, so watch my back, okay?"

Terra's eyes glowed yellow, and the Boulder shot off, flying directly at the GLT. However, instead of hitting it, it curved in the air, and began to circle around the Lobster's eyes. Again and again, and around it went…

…And around, and around…

…And the eyes, who tangled their stalks following, began to spin themselves.

Robin saw this as their chance. "It's distracted! Get it!"

"Roger that!" Gauntlet whooped, and punched in a command.

The Go-Bot lunged at the GLT, picked it up, and put it on it's shoulders in a very familiar submission hold.

"TOWER BRIDGE!"

The Lobster screeched and writhed, squirming to escape the hold.

"…That actually worked. Good job." Scapel said, turning to Terra…who was swaying as well.

"Around and round and round…" She moaned, dizzy.

Scapel facefaulted.

"So cool!" Those two children cheered.

Scapel shot up. "I thought I told you children to go home!"

"They're paintin' the house, so Ma sent us back here so's we don't 'inhale those nasty fumes'." The boy replied.

Scapel facefaulted again.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Mr. Lark at the Smiley Face Employment Agency stared at his latest visitor from across his desk. He had gotten all kinds before. Aliens, mutants, cannibals, nobody was turned down at Smiley Face…

…But mainly because the aliens, mutants and cannibals _looked _human…

"So," Mr. Lark said uneasily, shuffling his paperwork in a desperate attempt to avoid looking at his client. "What kind of experience do you have?"

"Blaaargh."

"You…say you fought the Teen Titans every time they added a new member to their squad in Jump City, hmm?"

"Blargh."

"And worked…for…supervillains." Mr. Lark thought about this. "How about waiting tables?

"Blargh!" Mortimer liked that a lot.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"…Okay, that should do it," Bob throw the shovel aside and clapped his hands. "We're done! Runes in place, now I'll toss in some hocus pocus! Nice work, Raven."

Raven, gasping and heaving, fell to the ground, sweat pouring down her temple. "You…had…to…pick…the…hardest…soil…"

Bob adjusted his hat. "Oh, pipe down. You fight supervillains once a week and a little digging is too much?"

"Fight…with…magic…"

"Just take a deep breath and call your friends. We're ready to act." Bob threw off his trench coat, and gave his arms a wave. As he wiggled his fingers, the air began to ripple…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back in the city, the GLT and Titans Go-Bot 5 were engaged in fisticuffs brawl, the crustacean having escaped the Tower Bridge hold the Go-Bot had put it in under Rob's orders. Now it was flailing its oversized pincers at the Go-Bot, which was blocking and attacking as best it could.

"For something with no fists, it's pretty good at punching!" Cyborg grunted as he readjusted the Go-Bot's footing. He didn't want to be knocked over again.

"I just wish we knew what kind of miracle Bob was cooking up," Robin commented. He directed the Go-Bot to punch at an opening in the GLT's guard. "I don't like working without a clue."

"Can we trust that guy?" Savior asked, "I mean, he did kidnap you guys once…"

"And he saved us when we were being controlled, Savior," Robin said sternly, "Look, if it helps, I don't trust him completely either, but we have no choice. And Raven-" There was a beeping. Robin activated the comm'. "Yeah?"

"It's me." Raven's still flushed face appeared on the screen.

"Raven!" Savior cried, "What happened to you?!"

"Just a little tired. Bob's a hard taskmaster." Raven replied. Before Noel could demand for an explanation, she said, "We're ready to send the Lobster away. Just bring it to us."

Robin checked her location and blanched. "Raven, that's on the other side of the city! How do you expect us to get it there!?"

"You've got a giant robot…just carry it…or something…"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"They're on their way," Raven told bob, hanging up. "But it might take them a minute."

"Fair enough," Bob shrugged, "Take a moment to rest."

She and Bob were sitting in two lawn chairs Bob had pulled out of his trench coat, and Elmo was seated calmly on Bob's shoulder. A pot of tea was cooking on a campfire nearby.

Raven felt a bit uneasy just sitting there while her friends were fighting, but she also knew that she had to watch the portal with Bob and make sure nothing disrupted the runes before the GLT was brought forth.

And besides, she was _tired_. Bob had made her dig her half of the rune circle, which had the radius as long as a football field, by _hand_. She had never done anything like that without some magic. Her legs, her arms, her hands and torso ached like she had never ached before. And when she tried to cheat and use her powers to manipulate the shovel, Bob would zip over and give her a quick flick on the ear.

"Oh, no you don't," He would say, "That's cheating."

And when she complained, he would say, "The exercise will do you good, get to it!"

Currently, Bob was pouring her a glass of tea. As he handed her a cup, he asked, "That Noel…does he brain tap people much? Once a day, week, month, what?"

Raven took a sip. She thought about it. How often did Noel use the Shimmer to link up with someone's brain?

"He does do it a lot," She admitted, "We've been trying to keep him from using it to hurt people, but…"

"Ah, that explains it." Bob nodded sagely.

"Explains what?"

Bob poured his own cup of tea and took a sip. "During that brief moment when he tried to tap my brain and got stung, I sensed two minds inside his body…one getting stronger than the other."

Raven dropped her cup.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Okay, guys. Ready?" Robin asked.

"I am in position." Starfire confirmed.

"We're all set." Beast Boy replied, turning in a pterodactyl and carrying Scapel up.

"I'm as ready as I'm ever gonna be." Terra said.

"All right. Let's begin Operation: Flip-side!" Robin ordered.

Terra set her hands down and used her geokinetic powers to give the street a good shake. And she had to concentrate, as she not only had to disrupt the Lobster's movements, but she also had to stabilize the area so the buildings wouldn't crumble apart. At the same time, the Go-Bot grabbed the Lobster from underneath and tossed the immense shelled creature into the high. As it went up, Scapel jumped from Beast Boy's back and followed it, accompanied by Starfire. The two struck the beast's underbelly with such force that it went even _higher_. And just as it reached the height of its ascent, the Go-Bot raised its arms, revealing to cannons where its hands should be.

"Cyborg! Gauntlet!" Robin yelled, "Fire!"

"You got it, man!" Cyborg whooped, "Sonic-Gauntlet…"

"Double Barrel!" Gauntlet finished eagerly.

Two pulsing beams- one sonic blue and the other glowing yellow- shot at the Lobster, sending it flying.

"Raven, it's headed your way!" Robin screamed into his communicator.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"I see it, Robin!" Raven confirmed. To Bob she yelled, "Bob, now!"

"Not yet," Bob waved her off. "It's too soon. It needs to be _inside _the circle for the portal to work."

The Lobster, at first a baseball-sized dot on the horizon, became a soccer ball-sized dot.

"Bob!" Raven yelled.

"Its shield might keep it from going inside the portal," Bob explained, "Relax. I know what I'm doing."

Now the Lobster's form was mattress-sized. Queen-sized mattress-sized.

"_Now_, Bob?" Raven asked testily, "While we're _three-dimensional?_"

"Gimme a minute," Bob said, drinking from his mug. "I want to finish my tea."

Elmo hopped onto Raven's shoulder as she sank into the shadows. The Lobster's shadow was now covering them.

"Okay, now." Bob said simply, and stomped on a rune. As one, the other runes light up. By this time the GLT's body was now blocking out the sky as it descended a terrifying rate of speed.

The area inside the rune circle glowed white and released a beam of light…

-Raven poked her head out of the shadow-

…And the Lobster was gone.

Bob looked down at his student and grinned.

"A bit high-strung, aren't you?" He chuckled, releasing a butterfly. "I'd have thought you'd be used to this sort of thing by now."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Ook."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Later that night, six of the Titans were enjoying a quiet dinner at home. Rob was out with his friend Yohko, Tara and Gar had taken Black Odd to the diner, and Vic was out with Sarah Simms. Bob had returned to the private universe from whence they came (Though he had warned that he would be back), leaving Elmo in Titans Tower to 'keep an eye on Raven' (Actually, Elmo just wanted to search Noel's hair for spare change). All in all, things were quiet. After getting rid of the Lobster and prying Gauntlet out of the Go-Bot, Jump City's criminal element had decided that they needed a go lie-down after that spectacle.

"Lobsters, robots, loony magicians…" Sophie shook her head and knocked back another soda. "I picked a crazy day to come back."

"Don't tell me you _regret _being a Teen Titan, do you, Sophie?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sophie shook her head. "Muggings, supervillains, insurance salesmen are one thing…but maybe we should leave the giant monster battles to the Japanese."

"Speaking of which," Kory commented, "I wonder who that girl Robert went off with is. Someone he met while we were in Japan?"

"I'm sure he'll tell us when he's ready…even if we aren't," Raven replied, "What I'd like to know is where Bob sent the Lobster."

"He sent it back to that Hannah woman you mentioned, didn't he?" Noel asked suspiciously.

"No. If he did Hannah would just send it back," Raven answered. To Elmo she asked, "Do you know what he did?"

Elmo thought about it, and jumped out of Noel's hair. Picking up the remote, he turned on the TV to a news report.

"…And in other news," Anchorwoman Jan Yong said on-screen, "A Giant Lobster Thing inexplicably appeared at the Collinscorp Headquarters this afternoon. The beast was soon suppressed by the Justice League, but not before destroying over 3.7 billion dollars worth of property. Amazingly, no children under the age of thirteen were among those injured. Company owner Maxwell Collins refused to comment, as he was too busy tearing out his hair."

The Titans stared at the screen. They then stared at Noel, who had an expression that was a mix of horror and delight. They looked at Elmo, who had one of those 'Here we go again' faces, uncommon on monkeys. Then they turned to Raven, who had the look of someone who's realized the light at the end of a tunnel is in fact a train.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

At the diner, Terra, Beast Boy, and Black Odd stared at their new waiter.

Mortimer didn't know what they were staring at. Didn't they like his new uniform?

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

A/N: Okay, a new chapter! And this one with the Legendverse OCs! Woo! I hope I kept them in character!

Okay, some explanations.

Firstly, the girl Yohko is not mine. Not originally. She first appeared in a flashback in Bobcat's Epic of Gauntlet, chapter 6. She seemed like a cute character, so I thought I would bring her into the present, mostly to mess with Gauntlet's head. Heheheh. I'll probably develop her character a bit more as the story goes on.

Secondly, the Titans Go-Bot 5 is _not _an original creation. The Go-Bot first appeared in the comic adaption of the _Teen Titans _animated series, Teen Titans Go!, issue 9. The theme song provided by Gauntlet comes from the video game, _Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon!_, made by Konami.

Thirdly, Mortimer is an OC created by Legend Maker and named by Bobcat. Since he hasn't appeared for quite a while in the Legendsverse, I thought I should explain why.

Fourthly, Black Odd is NOT going to join the Teen Titans. Not this branch, anyway. There are far too many heroes there.

Oh yeah, Sarah Simms _does _appear in the canon set up by Warner Bros., but only in the Teen Titans Go! Comic adaption. More on her later.

See you next! Read and Review!

_**(1) **_Jack spent many weeks entertaining children at birthday parties and store openings, finding a happiness in this new form madness. The spell wore off after a the fifth week, just as Jack was made governor of California, which only goes to show what kind of world we live in where even psychotic murderer turned party-clown can become an elected official.


	7. Go, Speed Racer, Go!

"_Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby."- _Robin Hood.

Part 7: Go, Speed Racer, Go!

A figure lay in a hospital bed, surrounded monitoring devices that kept a close eye on his health…and other things.

This man is Slade Wilson; the Terminator, Deathstroke.

He is a man who went from soldier to father, and from father to assassin when he chose honor over the safety of his children. And when one of those children followed in his footsteps and got killed, the desire to have vengeance on the ones responsible transformed Slade into a villain of the deepest dye. But like all those who let revenge dominate their lives, he ended up biting off more than he could chew. His last and most diabolical plot to turn the Teen Titans against each other resulted in him being placed into a coma by Raven's demonic powers gone wild. Now, he was but a vegetable.

Two men…two _young _men…entered the room. One is brown-skinned, in a blue hood and uniform named Mal Duncan, the Herald. The other is a Caucasian blond in a white jumpsuit and purple tunic named Joseph Wilson, the possessor Jericho.

The Son of Slade. The second Son, at least.

"There he is, Joe," The Herald said, gesturing toward Slade's body. "Are you…_sure_…you want to do this?"

Jericho nodded. This is what he had been waiting for. This is why he became a superhero.

After that day, when the Jackal kidnapped him and he got his throat cut and lost his voice, he had wanted to know… Why? Why had his father chosen his 'professional honor' over the safety of his own child? Did he love his reputation as the Terminator over his well-being? Or did he think he could have rescued Joe without having to lose anything? But he should have known, you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

And so, in one slice, everything had fallen apart. The once happy Wilson family was shattered, all because of one man's 'honor'.

Jericho son discovered he had powers of his own, a result of some experiment his father had taken part of, and became decided to use his powers to help others, so that no one would have to suffer like he would.

Then came the Titans.

Jericho had heard of the Titans' feud with Slade, and while he was honored to be considered a member, he was worried what would happen if they found out. And so, after their fight against the Brotherhood of Evil, he told Robin everything, prepared to walk that lonely path again.

Thankfully, Robin took the higher view, and while he was a bit shocked at first, he refused to deny Jericho membership on that basis alone. And as more Titans found out, they too were open-minded about the subject (Jinx especially- after all, she used to be a full-time baddie herself). The only one who seemed to hold any qualms about it was Savior, but he was such a self-righteous bastard, so who cared what he thought? Jericho actually felt sorry for him, being unable to trust anyone.

And now was the moment he had been waiting for. Even though Slade was comatose, more and more of his old weapons and projects were getting loose and hurting people. After months of negotiating, Jericho had finally gotten permission to use his power of possession to go into Slade's body and find out what else he had left behind…as well as answer Joe's more personal question.

With a trembling hand, Jericho forced open Slade's remaining eye- the other had been shot out by his mother. Activating his power, Jericho went in.

Minutes passed. Herald began to whistle.

Then Jericho came out, shaking like that last leaf on a tree in fall.

"What's wrong, Joe?" Herald asked, worried. He put his hand on Jericho to steady him. "What'd you see?"

Jericho told him. Herald's eyes went wide.

"What!? That's not the real Slade!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

It was a new day in Jump City…and panic reigned supreme.

The winds howled in agony. The skies were dark with fear. Clouds dropped torrents of pain onto the unhappy below, in the form of angry cats.

All of this was observed by Raven and Bob from the roof of Titans Tower.

"Well," Bob said, chewing his tongue. "We know what _that _spell does!"

A cat fell on him, yowling.

"Argh! Get this thing off me!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"That's an interesting way to start the day." Nigel commented once the self-contained Armageddon ceased.

The Tower's main room was now filled with dozens of much calmer cats, now leisurely lapping up milk from saucers. In the center of it all was Black Odd, who watched in fascination. This was first time cats had never hissed and run away from him. In fact, the cats seemed to like him a bit too much…

"A spell that makes cats fall from the sky," Tim remarked, shaking his head. "That's…different."

"I know! Talk about a 'cat'-tastrophe!" Gar laughed.

The cats hissed. One cat in particular, a small purple fluffy one, actually scratched the changeling in the leg.

"Ow! Not funny!" Gar yelped, jumping on the other leg.

"Speaking of which," Noel said, trying to get one large cat out of his hair. "Where's Rob? I haven't seen him this morning, and even he doesn't sleep in this late."

"Oh, he went out to meet his friend from Japan, that girl Yohko, for breakfast," Kory explained, "Then they are spending the remainder of the day at the Anime convention."

With one painful jerk, Noel succeeded in removing the cat. "Girl? He's out with a girl?"

"I thought the dude couldn't get a girlfriend," Vic said, as a trio of cats dozed on his shoulders. "It's his running gag."

"Oh, Yohko is not his girlfriend," Kory replied, "He told me very clearly when he left. She is his childhood friend, and there is absolutely nothing romantic between them, and there never will, because that would be just plain freaky. That's what he said, anyway…"

Noel shook his head to make sure no other cat were inside. So it was one of _those _relationships, oy…he hoped Rob would never catch on. He liked teasing him about his lack of love life.

"**Could someone help me?" **Black Odd asked as cats clambered over him.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

At the Jump City convention hall, Anime-Con Year &#% (A paint-related accident blotted the year out) was in full swing. Booths were up, sales were made, and nerds were mulling about in various costumes, some inappropriate for their gender. One doesn't know agony until they see a grown man dressed as Rushuna Tendo…complete with necessary attachments. The centerpiece of the convention was the real-life construct of the _Mach 5 _from the classic show, _Speed Racer_. A crack team of super-intelligent nerds had spent countless weeks building a car that exactly like the show's _Mach 5_. A little boy in a cowboy hat was busy playing around in the driver's seat, despite many attempts to coax him out from his parents.

And two childhood friends who were not in romantic relationship (One of _those _relationships) were standing in line to meet Eichiro Oda, a manga artist known for producing one of the three kings of the manga world, One Piece.

Rob grinned. HE always grinned, a goofy, devil-may-care-grin, but this was a different grin. It was a grin some adults have when they think about the day they met Walt Disney, or Jim Henson. He was going to meet Oda. Oda! And he was going to get his autograph, too. He clutched the intended recipient of the signature. It was a jolly roger drawn in One Piece style, but the skull had a mop of spikey hair, and under it was something that might be considered his active Gauntlet arm.

"Hey! It's our turn!" Rob noticed, and moved forward- and stopped. Yohko hadn't budged. "What's wrong?"

"I won't do it." She said, her head bent so that her eyes could not be seen. She was clutching a sketchpad to her chest. "I'll act stupid, I know I will.

"What?" Rob took Yohko's shoulder and gave her an encouraging grin. "Relax, it'll be fine. We'll get his autograph and you can show him your stuff."

Rob led Yohko toward the esteemed manga-ka. "I mean, Oda's just an ordinary guy, like you and me- well, _me_, anyway. It's not like he's a god or Superman- AAH! OH MY GOD! IT'S ODA!" Rob began to poke the artist's arm. "I'M TOUCHING _ODA!!_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Bob, what do you do?" Raven asked.

She, Bob and Elmo were playing chess in the park. Well, Raven and Bob were playing chess, while Elmo made a card castle.

"What brought this on?" Bob asked, moving a pawn.

"I have no idea what you do for a living," Raven explained, "You said that magic can't create money- none that's worthwhile. And it's too much to assume _everything _in your mansion is salvage from some adventure- or stolen. So, what's your job?"

Bob rolled his eyes around in thought. "Well, I partially trade or sell that stuff at the Bazaar of Deva. Most of it may be junk, but at Deva, there's always _something _that'd pay good money for a tiki idol that sings, or a whistle that summons rainbow monkeys. But for the most part, I'm what you'd call a professional villain."

Raven stared. After a minute, she regained her composure. "I'm sorry, I missed that last part. You're a _villain_?"

"Professionally, anyway," Bob grinned, "After all, money is the root of all evil, right?"

"…Are we both using the same definition of villain?" Raven asked at last, giving Bob a shrewd look.

"It works like this, kid." Bob said, pulling some photographs out. The first one was a picture of a stereotypical villain- black cloak, goatee and mustache- surrounded by an army of ugly Vikings.

"First, I go to a world that has some good resources and do a little plundering- you know, burn a few villages, build a tower, that sort of thing. Then, a hero rises up."

The next photograph was that of someone- the image was a bit fuzzy- standing amidst some ruins and holding a glowing sword. Then Bob displayed a photo of the Hero walking up a fight of stairs, followed by the ugly Vikings.

"He- or she- goes to challenge me. The Hero fights through my henchmen, we have the final duel, I take a dive and vanish from the world. The day is saved, the hero becomes a legend, and it all ends happily."

"But what do you get out of it?" Raven asked, flummoxed. "I mean, if you purposely lose…"

"Ah, but what few people realize is how much running an evil empire costs," Bob chuckled, "With all the plundering and oppression, why are all of the stormtroopers fools? Why do we have prison cells that can be escaped from with a little quick-thinking?" Bob pulled out a sketchpad that had the equation 'Plunder – defenses = profit' written down. "By spending the bare minimum from my looting on defenses, I'm able to amass a fortune on the difference."

"Why do it at all?" Raven wondered aloud, "Why not just take the money and run?"

"I could do that, but then I'd have an army of henchmen demanding their share of the plunder," Bob replied, "However, by setting them up for their defeat at the hands of the hero, I can say they did not earn it by virtue of being unable to fulfill their duties. And best of all, it makes good practice for the hero when they have to fight a _real _villain."

Raven stared at her teacher as the full implications of what he said sank in. "That's beyond evil. It's…devious."

"And it works out, doesn't it?" Bob remarked, "I get money, the heroes get exercise, and a legion of idiots get kept off the streets."

Raven groaned and took Bob's rook. "If all the world's a stage…and all men are players…then you must be the director, is that it?"

Bob shook his head. "No…I'm just a player who knows his part."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

At the Anime-Con, one figure took a good long look at the real-life _Mach 5_. A lot of the nerds and fans took interest in the car, but this lone figure was not a nerd, nor a fan of any animated series made in Japan.

Ding Dong Daddy Dowd was not a criminal mastermind like Slade or the Hive leaders, nor was he was dark and terrible master like the Lord of the Night or Trigon the Terrible. However, if there was something Ding Dong Daddy was the boss of, it was cars. Whether it was chop shops or auto thefts, Daddy knew what he was doing. Ya dig?

And right now, what the Ding Dong Daddy was digging was the slick wheels in front of him. On a subconscious level, he was a bit scared. According to the card, a legion of nerds had poured millions of dollars into making a car that was originally part of a fictional world. But on a superficial level, it _was _a car, and that's what mattered. Daddy was looking for something to cruise in.

Ding Dong Daddy stepped up onto the platform the _Mach 5_ was on. He thought he saw a rustle of movement…but that didn't matter right now.

Smoothly sliding into the driver's seat, Daddy fastened his seat belt. The Ding Dong Daddy may be a far-out crook, but he was no fool, daddy-o. He checked the glove compartment.

Groovy. The keys were right there.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"That was awesome," Rob sighed, examining his autograph. As well as his name, Oda had written an order to remain a minimum of ten yards away on penalty of imprisonment. "I got my John Hancock, and my little freak-out gave _you _the courage to show off your sketches! All according to plan!"

Yohko smirked. She knew that Rob's little moment was spontaneous, but it _had _helped her get over her insecurity...and Oda _did _like her sketches. Maybe she could do it after all…

_Vrmm…_

She frowned. "What is that noise?"

Rob posturing and put his hand to his ear. "You mean that sound like a car being driven through the convention hall? Beats me."

Before any further discussion on the subject could commence, the _Mark 5_ blew by, leaving behind a trail of destruction and burnt rubber.

Rob and Yohko stared. Then Rob turned to Yohko and grinned. "Pay up! I told you that thing could run!"

Frowning cutely, Yohko reached for her wallet.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The alert sounded while Robin and Savior were having a sparring session (Savior was losing). Running(And limping, in Savior's case) to the computer, Robin demanded, "What's going on?"

Starfire was examining the read-out. "The Ding Dong Daddy has stolen a car from the convention hall." She announced.

"A car?" Savior asked, leaning against the wall. "What's a car doing at the convention hall!? They're showing anime, not autos!"

Cyborg leaned over Starfire's shoulder. "Says here it's a working model of the _Mach 5 _from _Speed Racer_."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Beast Boy whooped, before pausing. "Um, what's _Speed Racer_?"

Pushing Beast Boy aside, Robin noticed something unusual. "Wait a minute. It says here that Gauntlet's with him!"

The Titans gathered around the screen.

Robin pointed. "His communicator's in the car with Ding Dong Daddy…what's going on?"

"Maybe he helped Daddy steal it." Noel remarked. Robert was originally on the team as community service for robbing a bank.

He got a whack upside the head from Cyborg.

The phone rang. Terra answered.

"Hello… Okay, hold on," She handed the phone to Robin. "It's for you."

"Hello?" Robin's eyes bugged out. "_Rob? _Where are you calling from!? What happened to your communicator?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"I tossed it in the _Mach 5_ while Dong Ding…Ding Dang…the hepcat crook was making a getaway," explained Gauntlet from a payphone at the anime convention. "I figured you could use it as a tracker. Smart, huh?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Robin rubbed his temples. "Only if Daddy doesn't realize it. Do you how much trouble we got into because we lost a communicator?" Robin paused as he listened to Gauntlet's rebuttal. "Yes, I know that was my fault." Another pause. "Tinfoil? All right, I won't press the issue. You still at the convention? Wait there. I'll send someone to pick you up." Hanging up, he turned to the assembled Titans. "Listen up! We're going to track Ding Dong Daddy with Gauntlet's communicator. Spread out and see if you can box him in! I'll go pick up Gauntlet from the convention center! Titans, go!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

_**(I would like to take this moment to say that I have made a grave error. I described Bob's hat as a fedora, while I visualized it as hat for a Zoot suit. Thank you and goodbye.)**_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven put away her communicator, having just been alerted to the events happening.

To Bob she said, "I gotta go."

Bob shrugged. "Awright. I'm bored with chess anyway," Brightening up, he said, "Next time, let's play stratego!"

Rolling her eyes, Raven put on her hood and flew off…causing Elmo's card castle to collapse for the 5th time.

Elmo threw the last card down in disgust. He was so close, too!

Bob felt hollow sensation in his tummy. "C'mon, Elmo. Let's get something to eat. I want a sandwich…"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Robin arrived at the convention center on his R-Cycle, ready to pick up Gauntlet. According to his radar, Ding Dong Daddy- or at least, the communicator with him- was still in the main city, going at a comparatively slow pace….slower than a race car _should _go. He must be trying to avoid damaging his new wheels. That was good. But if he made to the open road, he could really speed up. That was bad.

"Later Yohko!"

Robin turned his gaze towards entrance to the convention center, seeing Gauntlet wave good bye to that cute Japanese girl from the Lobster incident.

As Gauntlet hopped onto the motorcycle, Robin couldn't help but say, "I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

Gauntlet blinked. "What girlfriend?"

Robin shook his head revved his engines. They took off. Robin took out his communicator and called the other Titans. "I've got Gauntlet. Anyone catch up with Daddy?"

"I have," Starfire replied. She sounded a bit tweaked. "And I cannot believe that man who talks with the outdated dialect!"

Robin and Gauntlet exchanged looks.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked.

"He is not only a thief of vehicles, but a kidnapper as well!"

"What!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Ding Dong Daddy had never thought of himself as a kidnapper. True, one of his earliest operations involved using runaways as labor, but they were closer to teenagers, and they had come to him.

But the little bundle of mischief in shotgun was not a teenager. He looked like he was about…four, maybe.

"Go fast, mistah!" The little runt cried, clinging to his oversized cowboy hat. He was at that age in that while he knew there was danger in the world, he assumed it happened to other people.

Ding Dong Daddy would have stopped the car and let the squirt out, but he saw Starfire flying above in the rear view mirror. If he slowed down, the alien powerhouse would swoop down and end his ride.

Oh well, Daddy Dowd wasn't a man who dwelled on the negatives. "What's your name, cuz?" Daddy asked the boy.

"Froggy, mistah."

"And you wanna go fast, Froggy?"

"Yah!"

"Then, let's punch it, daddy-o!"

The _Mark 5 _rocketed off, the squeals of tires and little boy echoing in the air.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"We're catchin' up to Ding Dong Daddy," Cyborg announced. He and Savior were in the T-Car, roaring down the streets. "One more turn and we'll be right behind him. Then what?"

Savior had already gotten a Shimmer strand ready. "I'll just link up with his mind and force him to stop."

"You can't do that, man! Not at these speeds!" Cyborg yelled, "If the connect gets broken, you could destroy his _mind!_"

"The way Daddy talks, I doubt anyone will notice." Savior replied coolly.

Cyborg whacked him.

"I was joking!" Savior groaned. Being slapped by a hand made of metal _hurt_.

"Even Beast Boy doesn't make jokes that bad," Cyborg told him sternly, "Any serious plans?"

"I can blow out his tires," Savior said, forming his Shimmer into a blade. "Starfire can grab the kid from above."

Cybrog nodded. "Right, I'm sure that little squirt must be terrified."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Please, come into my arms, little one!" Starfire pleaded.

"Nah, I wanna go fast!" Froggy whined, clinging to his seatbelt.

Starfire glared at Ding Dong Daddy. "Release that young child, now!"

"Baby, you can have him!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Far up ahead, Terra, Beast Boy and Scapel were busy building a barrier. Unlike most 'barriers' produced by average law-enforcement groups, this one was more like a big wall someone had put in the middle of the street, instead of the official but ineffectual wooden fences that mostly told crooks on the go where the line was so that could cross it.

After finishing, Scapel opened his communicator. "Robin, we've finished the barrier."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Good job." Robin put away his communicator.

"Hey, since I don't have mine, can I borrow your communicator?" Gauntlet asked from his place behind.

"No." Robin said firmly, steering the R-Cycle onto Ding Dong Daddy's street.

What they saw was a scene of chaos greater than rush hour. Savior in the T-Car was trying to get at the _Mach 5_'s tires, but Ding Dong Daddy kept slowing and accelerating every time Cyborg managed to line his car to the stolen one. Above, Starfire kept trying to get the little boy out from his place in shotgun, but little Froggy seemed against it. It was almost as if he didn't _want _to leave the _Mach 5_…

"Stockholm Syndrome," Gauntlet sighed, "Fun in theory, a pain in practice."

Robin said nothing, but mentally agreed. To Ding Dong Daddy, he yelled, "Stop the car!"

"Cool it, cuz!" Daddy yelled, "This cat don't break for nobody!"

"I tried," Robin muttered. Then he ordered, "Savior! Gauntlet! Get ready to grab the car! Starfire! Get ready to grab the kid! Cyborg! Make sure he doesn't turn off!"

What followed was an even madder scene of chaos, as three vehicles swerved up and down while two energy masses- the Shimmer and Gauntlet- trying with some effort to get a hold of the _Mach 5_, while the T-Car and R-Cycle went back and forth in order to keep the nerds united project boxed in. Between all of this, Starfire kept trying to get little Froggy-

"I wanna go fast!"

-Who still refused to leave his 'fun ride'.

Pretty soon the more-effective barrier came into view. Ding Dong Daddy frowned at this.

Robin grinned. _Got him._

Then Daddy grinned himself. "You swingers think you've got Daddy, don't you?"

"Unless your car can fly, yeah." Robin replied.

"Then I guess it's time to see how much work those squares put into this ride!" Daddy yelled, and accelerated ahead.

"Yo! What's he doin'!" Cyborg yelled in surprise.

"Is he crazy!?" Savior cried in alarm.

Up on the barrier, the three Titans that made it gawked in horror.

But Ding Dong Daddy just kept grinning. He lifted a finger towards the steering wheel, which had an array of buttons on it, labeled from A-G, and pushed the button at the top, marked A.

"Auto-Jack engaged." A computerized voice announced.

There was a sound like a giant metal spring being released, and four built-in jacks sprang out from the bottom, forcing the _Mach 5 _up-

Above-

-And over the barrier, leaving the Titans to stare in wonder.

"…Dude, that would be so awesome if it didn't help the bad guy get away." Beast Boy said at last.

There was a loud wham, and Terra, Scapel and Beast Boy looked down the wall to see that Starfire had crashed into it. The T-Car and R-Cycle, meanwhile, had managed to stop before hitting it.

"Silly me," Savior grumbled, "I thought this would be easy."

Robin ignored him, checking his communicator. Looking up from it, he said, "Gauntlet's communicator is still there. We'll have to move fast. Terra! You and Scapel take down this barrier! Everyone else, let's roll!" Then, a beeping. Robin opened his communicator.

"Raven here, I've got Ding Dong Daddy in my sights."

"Be careful," Robin told her, "He's not driving an ordinary car."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"I imagine." Raven replied, and hung up.

She was standing on a bridge over a river. Unless the _Mach 5 _could swim, she had Ding Dong Daddy. The trick was timing.

There he was…

"_**Azarath…Mentrion…Zinthos!**_"

Dark energy poured out of Raven's hands, coating part of the bridge. Just as the _Mach 5_ drove onto it, the coated part broke free and lifted up.

Ding Dong Daddy halted the car in amazement as the bridge turned, pointing it's back and front toward the river.

Raven gave him a look that offered much violence if he tried anything.

But once again, Ding Dong Daddy smirked in the face of this new obstacle. With one hand, he pulled Froggy out and put him back on the pavement, patting his head. Then, he turned the _Mach 5_ and speed off, taking the car into the river!

Shocked, Raven rushed to the side. After a few minutes, a little periscope popped out of the water's surface before heading off. Raven facefaulted.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Heh heh heh… I love Frog mode." Ding Dong Daddy chuckled.

"Me too." Froggy giggled.

"You're still here!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Black Odd was out for a walk. After Tara had gone out with the other Titans to stop…Ding Dong Daddy…Black Odd had spent several minutes at the Tower before deciding go out and find good homes for all of the cats, even that mean purple one that seemed to scratch anybody that came near it. So far, this involved finding alleyways that were next to restaurants and food stores. Black Odd thought that this was the normal habitat for all cats, and the concept of a housecat escaped his rather limited imagination.

Now he was on his own, walking down the street in the outfit Tara, Victor, and Garfield had picked out for him. Stopping at a crosswalk, Black Odd waited until the sign said it was okay for him to cross…even though there were no cars around.

After two minutes, the sing changed from 'DON'T WALK' to 'WALK'. Before moving, however, Black Odd looked both ways. All clear. He crossed.

_Vrrmm_

Halfway across, Black Odd stopped. What was that noise? He turned to look-

THUMP!

And the _Mach 5_ ran over him.

A tumbleweed blew by.

Then, with some effort, Black Odd sat up, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He inspected himself and came to one conclusion.

"**My clothes are dirty."**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Elsewhere in the city, the Titans had erected another barrier. This one differed from the first in two ways; 1) it was much higher than the first, and 2) it was made entirely of wooden crates stacked on top of each other.

True, it wasn't as solid as the last barrier, but the Titans were hoping to bluff Ding Dong Daddy into stopping.

"Whaddya think?" Terra asked.

"I'd take the 'Really solid wall' sign down." Cyborg commented.

As they did just that, the _Mach 5 _came up.

But he didn't stop. Instead, Daddy just pushed a button on the steering wheel marked C.

"Cutter Blades engaged." The sexy computer voice announced.

Twin buzz saws popped out of the front, effectively carving out a tunnel for the _Mach 5_.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In other part of the city, Savior had separated from the others and constructed his own idea of a barrier; a giant net made entirely out of the Shimmer.

"This had better work," Savior muttered, observing his communicator. Ding Dong Daddy was coming right at them. "I mean, it's not like this is a road runner parody, right?"

The cutter blades promptly told Savior what kind of parody this was. As he lay on the street writhing in pain, one phrase, among far less polite and far more profane words, echoed throughout the air.

"GODDAMN NERDS!!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Bob stepped out of the deli with a good feeling in his heart. This was going to be a good day, he knew it. True, a cat had fallen on him and he lost his game of chess to Raven, but who cared about that? _He _had a sandwich!

Bob held the sandwich out and opened his mouth to take a bite…

WHOOSH!

…And the sandwich was gone.

"Huh?" Bob blinked uncomprehendingly. He looked towards the car that had passed.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Ding Dong Daddy took a bite of the sandwich and gagged. "Yech! What square puts honey and jalapeño in a BLT?" he handed it to Froggy. "Here ya go."

"Yah."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Storm clouds gathered. Lightning flashed. Thunder rumbled.

_**(Not the Titans)**_

"A cat fell on me…" Bob hissed, clenching his fist. "My student beat me at a game that now bores me… This I can stand… But nobody steals a sandwich from _Robert Ziegfried Djinito III Esq.!_"

With a primal growl, Bob glared at the departing car.

_TARGET: DING DONG DADDY_

_THREAT LEVEL: MINIMAL_

_MAGIC LEVEL: NON-EXISTENT_

_SURVIVAL CHANCES: MAYBE ZERO_

_PUNISHMENT: OHHH YEAH!_

"Ding Dong Daddy," Bob growled, "I swear, with Glod as my witness- You watchin' this, Glod?"

"Yeah, Bob." A dwarf replied.

"I swear, that I will not rest until you have paid for this inexcusable crime! _VENDETTA!_"

With rage as his momentum and obsession in his legs, Bob tore off down the street.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Black Odd was now at another crosswalk. After he had been run over by the _Mach 5 _earlier, Black Odd was busy looking for a public laundry to get his clothes cleaned. Now, he had found one.

But it was on the other side of the street.

Looking both ways, Black Odd found the street empty. Nonetheless, he walked at somewhat faster pace.

Unfortunately, the pace he walked at was only 1.4 times the pace he normally walked, and as such, could not get to the other side in time to avoid being run down by Ding Dong Daddy…

THUMP!

…_Again._

After a minute, Black Odd got up. Now he had two sets of tire prints on his clothes.

Then he felt the street vibrate. That was all the warning he had.

STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP

"My SANDWICH!" Bob screamed, trampling Black Odd.

After Bob vanished into the horizon, Black Odd slowly began to crawl towards the sidewalk.

"**Maybe I should go back to the Tower…"**

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven had felt the tremors of rage with empathy. And even if she couldn't feel emotions, the theatrical storm clouds that had gathered over Perez Street were a sure sign of trouble.

Flying over the city, Raven flipped open her communicator.

"Robin, we have a problem." She told him.

"What now?"

"It's Bob," Raven explained, "He's going after Ding Dong Daddy."

"What? Why? I thought Bob wasn't going to help us with these things."

"I'm not entirely sure, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to be helpful." Raven had a feeling that whatever reason Bob had to attack Ding Dong Daddy, only he would understand…and maybe Gauntlet.

"I'm going to try and intercept him," Raven told Robin, "You guys get the trap ready."

All she knew for sure was that if Bob's rage was still burning when he got a hold of Ding Dong Daddy, there might not _be _a Ding Dong Daddy left to arrest…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Robin closed his communicator. He wasn't sure why Bob was getting involved, but he would have to trust Raven.

Meanwhile, the Titans would have to get their plan moving on their own.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven flew through the city, tracking Ding Dong Daddy with the locator in Gauntlet's communicator, and Bob with her own senses. It was a bit tricky, like reading a book through a mirror, but it wasn't as confusing as that. Not quite as confusing, anyway.

But the problem was that Bob must have been really upset, as he normally buried his own power beneath any mystical sensing. Now he was so riled up that he didn't even bother. The flash of power was akin to someone turning on a bright light after hours of darkness. And that gave her a headache, like eating a lot of ice cream within a minute.

_**(Yeah…I'm using a lot of similes)**_

Even worse…Bob was now practically on top of Daddy.

Raven braced herself for the explosion, figurative or otherwise.

None came.

Raven relaxed, though confused. _Where's the ka-boom? There's supposed to be an earth-shattering ka-boom…isn't there?_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Gimme my sandwich!" Bob whined, slapping Ding Dong Daddy on the shoulder.

"Whoa, cool it, cuz!" Daddy cried, trying to fend off the whiner. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet. "Here's twenty bucks- buy _two _sandwiches."

Bob grabbed the bill with glee. "All right!"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Raven stared in resigned confusion as Bob and Ding Dong Daddy argued over the settings of the radio.

"…Figures." She muttered.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Out of town, the Titans finished preparing for their plan to catch Ding Dong Daddy. After determining what the _Mach 5 _could and couldn't do, Robin, Cyborg, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Scapel began to try and herd the car towards a certain exit out of the city. There, Terra, Savior, and Gauntlet would trap him. Terra would use her powers to catapult the _Mach 5 _into the air, and Savior and Gauntlet would catch it with their powers.

"I see him coming," Savior said, looking through a pair of binoculars. "Get ready!"

"Roger!" Terra pulled out a huge mound of dirt by the road, putting it back after she was in the hole. A periscope and a hollow bamboo rod poked out of it. Ahead, Gauntlet hopped into a barrel labeled 'NOT a disguise'.

Shaking his head, Savior got into his own hiding place- a large boulder that was hollowed out with two eyeholes. The boulder was pretty thin, so that when it was time he could easily burst out of it.

And so the three of them waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"What's taking him?" Terra said through the bamboo rod.

Confused, Savior got out of his boulder and looked. It seemed like the _Mach 5 _had ground to a complete stop. Raven was there, but she didn't seem to be doing anything…he could see no sign of her power.

Flipping open his communicator, Savior asked, "Raven, what's going on?"

"Apparently," Raven replied, "The fleet of nerds that made this stupid car forget one important thing- fuel efficiency."

Savior felt an uneasy feeling in his gut. "You're not saying…"

"That's right- ran outta gas."

The hidden Titans facefaulted.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Soon, the police and tow truck arrived for Ding Dong Daddy and the _Mach 5_, respectively.

And Froggy still wouldn't leave.

"I wanna go fast." The little boy insisted, clinging to the steering wheel. Neither Shimmer, Gauntlet, nor Starfire's pleas would get the runt to release his grip.

So Cyborg tried a different approach. "Tell ya what, little man. I'll let you steer the T-Car."

"Okay." Froggy let go of the wheel, landing on top of Savior and Gauntlet. As he toddled over to the T-Car, he looked over his shoulder at the handcuffed Ding Dong Daddy.

"Byyyee." He said, waving his cowboy hat. Everyone sweatdropped.

_Was even aware of his own peril? _Starfire wondered.

After the police and tow truck carted Ding Dong Daddy and the _Mach 5_ away, Robin looked at the rest of the Titans. While the events hadn't been as painful or mentally traumatizing as the Lord, Kurai, or the White Hole, they were still quite annoying. Not to mention weird.

"Well, Titans, it was good ride while it lasted," the Teen Wonder said, feigning humor, "Let's go home."

"Right," Cyborg said, getting in the driver's seat of the T-Car. After a minute, he got Froggy to sit in his lap. "I'll see you back at the Tower as soon as I get this kid home."

The other Titans then left, Savior through Raven's shadows, Starfire carrying Scapel, and Robin on his R-Cycle, with Gauntlet riding on the back. Terra and Beast Boy decided to ride with Cyborg.

"All right, let's get goin'!" Cyborg declared, and hit the accelerator.

Nothing happened.

"…Heh heh heh… Outta gas…"

The facefaulted.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

At a deli shop…

"Whaddya mean the money's no good!?" Bob demanded, irate.

"Sir, a bill with Louis Armstrong is not actual currency." The man behind the counter sighed.

Bob took the twenty dollar bill back and scrutinized it. Yep, there he was, Louie Armstrong.

"A pox on thee, Ding Dong Daddy," Bob screamed into the heavens and Glod, "A _pox!_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

A/N: I have nothing to really say, but I do have some notes for consideration.

I, like several others no doubt, assumed Ding Dong Daddy was a creation of the animated series' creators. However, hepcat car thief was in fact a one-shot villain the first Teen Titans busted (And I mean, the first. Back when it was just a sidekick brigade- ahh, no bricks!)

Bob's admission of 'professional' villainy is another shoutout to the Discworld series. In the books Carpe Jugulum and The Last Hero, we are introduced to rogues such as Count Magpyre Sr. and Evil Harry, 'old school' villains who purposely make all the traditional mistakes in return for being allowed to escape at the last minute. Plus the name 'Glod' is commonly used as a name for dwarves in Discworld.

Little Froggy is based on those old cartoons where a baby wanders onto a construction site is genuinely unaware of how close death is. I imagine Froggy as being that baby.

Other than that, I say, please review!


	8. AMP'd Up

"_I'm sure we can talk things out like civilized people." _–John Wayne

Part 8: AMP'd Up

A secret place. Four figures stood in the center of a spotlight, their forms barely visible due to the universal laws of copyright.

"Cowabun…" One began to say, but was caught off by a flash of another light.

BZRP!

When the second light had faded, there were only four tiny terrapins in the spotlight.

Professor Chang, arms dealer for the rich and villainous, was very pleased. So far, his latest invention was working perfectly.

"But, just to be sure," He told an aide, "One more test."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In Titans Tower's training room, Robin was in the fight of his life.

His opponent swung a mighty fist, and had it connected, it would have broken a rib. But Robin duck and used his foe's momentum to judo throw her to the ground. Pantha hit the floor with a hard thud, but was quickly got up and caught Robin with a kick and put him in a Romero Special. Robin groaned as he felt the pressure.

"Do you give?" Pantha demanded.

Robin said nothing. Instead, he started to twist his arms as best he could. Pantha had him all right, but her hands were wrapped around his gloves, not his actual arms. After a little fidgeting, Robin slipped out of the gloves and used his now-free hands to deliver his counterattack; giving Pantha's thigh the world's biggest pinch.

"YOW!!" Pantha screamed, because Robin had gotten a nerve as well. The Teen Wonder took advantage of her discomfort and pulled his legs out from hers. After leaping away, Robin took a moment to work out a kink in his back. That Romero Special of hers hurt! Meanwhile, Pantha rubbed the sore spot. Once the two opponents stopped licking their wounds, they glared at each other.

They charged-

They leapt-

"Robin! Pantha!" Rob's yelled over the intercom, "We've got a problem with Wildebeest!"

-And they missed each other completely. Robin hit the punching bag with a muffled whump, while Pantha landed on a weight collection.

Peeling himself off, Robin answered, "Wh-what's the trouble, Gauntlet?"

"Um, you two had better see for yourself."

Pantha pulled herself out of the dumbbell pile and rubbed her head. "I think I know what's wrong. Come on."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"…So, in order to raise money, I took up wrestling," Pantha told Robin as they walked down the hall, "As long I didn't use my claws, I figured it was okay."

Tim chose not to comment. Instead he asked, "Where _did _you get your claws?"

The tall, muscular Hispanic woman sighed. "I don't know. I can't remember anything about my life before the Wildebeest Society experimented on me. Hell, I'm not even sure if I was originally a human or a…cat."

Robin could see the forlorn look in Pantha's eyes, even from behind her mask. He patted her on the back. "Well, if I hear anything, you'll be the first to know."

Pantha smiled. "_Gracias, mi amigo_."

They entered the main room. So far, nothing seemed to be wrong, but Rob and Nigel were gathered around something.

"What's wrong?" Tim asked, marching over to where they were standing with Pantha.

"It's…it's awful, Robin!" Rob wailed theatrically, "Wildebeest, he's…"

"He's what?" Robin sighed. He had a feeling he knew what was wrong.

"He's a _baby!_"

Rob and Nigel parted, to reveal a small boy, who looked about 2-3 years of age.

Looked.

Nigel clutched his ears. "And he won't stop crying!"

The Baby _was _crying, but stopped when he saw Pantha. "Mama!"

Nigel looked at Pantha in surprise. "I had no idea he was yours. Who's the father?"

Pantha sighed and picked Baby up. "He's not mine, and there is no father. Baby Wildebeest is…a remnant of the Wildebeest Society's experiments."

Rob blinked. "_That's _Wildebeest?"

"Yes."

"But…in Legend Maker's Silent Night, he was _talking!_ And he never turned into a baby in the show!"

There was a crash as the fourth wall broke. Baby started crying again.

"That story isn't canon, remember?" Tim reminded Rob, hoping to put an end to it. He didn't want to get into an argument over something so stupid. Especially since _he _didn't understand it either…

Luckily, salvation came in the form of an alert. Robin rushed over to the computer to check the details.

"It's the HIVE 5!"

Baby hopped out of Pantha's arms and transformed into Wildebeest. As the Titans ran for the exit, Scapel shook his head.

_Just when I think I understand humans, _this _sort of thing happens…_

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

The HIVE 5, a group consisting of five graduates from the HIVE's youth division, the HIVE Academy for Exceptionally Young People, HAEYP. And while membership was always changing and sometimes inconsistent with the name, one thing was always regular.

These were _bad _kids.

Baran Flinders, the super strong muscleman, Mammoth.

Xuam Luobreg, the size-increasing rogue from Mu_**(1)**_, XL Terrestial.

Billy Numerous, duplicating hillbilly gone wrong, fella.

Angela Carter, the winged Angel.

And the current…leader…Mikron O'Jeanus, the gadgeteer Gizmo.

The 5 gave their surroundings a once-over.

"Shee-yoot!" Billy whooped, "Lookit all these here stores! Jewerly, Electronics, novelty T-shirts…"

A second Billy appeared from the first. "Darn tootin'! All this reconstruct-shin's really done it for one-stop shoppin'!"

Gizmo rubbed his hands together eagerly, a nasty smile on his little face. "Let's go, HIVE 5, let's rob these snot-sucker's blind!"

As the five junior crooks began their plundering, they neglected to notice the outdoor café on the roof of said T-shirt shop. The odds of this particular place being important were a million to one.

Which is exactly why Raven, sitting a table closest to the roof's edge, looked down at the HIVE 5's shenanigans.

"Figures. I come to wait for Noel on our date, and _this _happens." Raven muttered.

Across from her, Bob waved a dismissive hand.

"Don't worry about it. I'll stay here and save your spot." He said as Elmo drank from his cup.

Raven gave him a cool look. "Did the thought of actually _helping_ cross your mind?"

"No."

"Good."

As Raven flew down, Bob looked down at Elmo. "After all, her friends'll be here in about…" Bob's eyes crossed in thought. "Fifteen minutes. And hero's fighting alone get better odds." Bob uncrossed his eyes and looked at the roof across the street. "That's a weird-looking camera…"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Prof. Chang was elated. The HIVE 5 would certainly draw out the Titans, allowing him to test his latest technological marvel. And best of, with his disguise, no one would notice him!

After all, who in their right mind would look at someone dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, Bermuda shorts, and straw hat?

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Wish I brought my goggles," Bob muttered to Elmo, "I can't tell if that thing he's got is a camera or a soup'd up hand-cannon."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Mammoth exited the electronics store carrying two large speakers- one in each hand- when suddenly…

"_**Azarath Mentrion Zinthos!**_"

the speakers were enveloped in dark power and flew out of Mammoth's arms and back into thestore.

"Hey-!?" Mammoth looked into the store in confusion, and with his back turned, did not see the darkness-covered manhole hit him in the rump. "Oof! What the-!?"

Mammoth got up and looked around until he saw the source of his frustration; Raven, robed and dangerous. But she was alone.

He grinned. "Hey, guys! Look who's here for a pounding!"

The rest of the 5 quickly appeared, surrounding the Titan.

"You think you can win alone?" Angel asked.

Raven gave her a dark glare. "I'm not here to win." _I just have to keep you from leaving until the others show up._

"And she's not alone!"

The Shimmer wrapped around Mammoth and flung him away. Savior strode up from behind where he was.

"Sorry I'm late," He said coolly, "There was a crowd at the florist's." He flung Raven a bouquet.

Raven caught the flowers (Tulips?) and hid them within her cloak. "And you didn't cut in line?"

"I _said _I was learning tact, didn't I?"

POW!

The punch the tick-beyond measure Mammoth gave Savior was softened only by thepretentious one's trying to roll with the blow, but it still sent him flying. Savior was caught and pulled back onto the ground by Raven's powers.

"Big cruddy whoop!" Gizmo snarled, "You're still outnumbered!"

"No, they're not."

The HIVE 5 turned their attention away from the pair to see Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Terra, Wildebeest, Pantha, Gauntlet and Scapel.

"Unless you like 11-5 odds, I suggest you stand down." Robin told the HIVE 5.

"Well, if you slower than molasses in January!" Billy laughed mockingly, "Did y'all forget that I kin duplicate myself?" He became about twenty. "When Billy Numerous' involved, numbers mean nothin'!"

"And a zero times twenty is still zero!" Cyborg yelled, firing his sonic cannon. The blast hit the Billys, sending them flying in multiple directions.

"Titans, Go!" Robin ordered, and the Titans leapt into action. Pantha charged at Mammoth, her hand raised.

"Once more, feel my claw!" Pantha yelled, when something large and familiar slammed into her. Off to the side, other large and familiar things appeared, attacking the Titans. One of them hit Starfire with a sonic blast. Though Pantha and Wildebeest had no idea what to make of these newcomers, the Titans prime were better prepared for the sight of the HIVE 5's helpers, having seen the like of them before, particularly in Steel City.

Except those were yellow, not green.

"Like my Cybots?" Gizmo snickered at the Titans' expressions, "I figured you scum-slurping Titans would try to mob us, so I made reinforcements!"

The Titans, Cyborg in particular, glared at the five Cyborg-style green robots that lined up in front of the HIVE 5.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

On his roof, Prof. Chang was impressed with Gizmo's work. While he knew that Brother Blood had obtained the blueprints to Cyborg's robotic body, he also knew that the cult-master kept those schematics secret. Young Mikron must have done some extensive reverse-engineering to be able to replicate his own version of the 'Cy-clones'- and no doubt add his own personal features as well.

But that was the only good feeling he had about this whole wretched fight. The Titans and HIVE 5 were bouncing around too much- he could not get a bead on his targets! All he needed was one chance, just one…

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"You were right, Elmo." Bob nodded, looking through a telescope.

"Ook?"

"That's definitely a hand-cannon. I wonder what he's going to shoot with it?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

On the street, XL increased to three times his normal size and launched at Pantha. The two grappled at each other.

"You…cannot win through size alone!" Pantha grunted, and kicked at XL's legs. As the Muuan fell, Pantha used the momentum to swing him around and away. Meanwhile, Wildebeest plowed through a crowd of Billys.

"Tarnation! Someone put a rope on this here buckin' bronco!" One Billy yelled as he was sent flying.

Meanwhile, Starfire, Cyborg and Gauntlet were busy with the Cybots, blasting them with Starbolts, sonic blasts and Gauntlet power.

"Y'know, I'm really sick of people usin' my tech!" Cyborg growled, punching one Cybot that got too close away.

"Me too! I mean, Brother Blood already tried this!" Complained Gauntlet, "Can't anyone think of their own plan, or are all the good ideas taken?!"

"That's not what I meant!"

Off to the side, Robin traded blows with Mammoth, though it would be more accurate to say he ducked and dodged Mammoth's predictable punches while getting his own shots in.

"Oof! Hold still, you stupid bird!" Mammoth growled, getting frustrated. "I'm gonna pluck all your feathers off!"

"Like I'm gonna sit still for you to do that!" Robin retorted, giving Mammoth a kick in the face.

In another part of the street, Savior squared off against Gizmo, who was buzzing around in the sky with his hover pack. The bratty techie buzzed in and out of the Shimmer tendrils Savior sent at him.

"Nah nah! Missed me, fart-sniffer!" Gizmo laughed nastily as he dodged another strand of Shimmer.

_What's wrong with me!? _Savior thought, getting more and more angry, _Ever since I got hit by Bob's mind static, it's been getting harder and harder to think! What did he do to me!?_

Bob, of course, had done nothing- on purpose. But there was the chance that the mind static had longer lasting effects on someone with an advanced nervous system than it would on a normal person. This would not occur to anyone until much later.

In the here and now, though, all Savior could do was try to think despite the huge weight on his brain when…

BZRP!

BOOM!

…The weight vanished. However, Noel could not appreciate this, as the missile that Gizmo fired propelled him into an alleyway exactly when the light from whatever went 'bzrp' had hit.

"Ohhh… Did anyone get the number of that shuttle…?" Noel groaned, trying to get up. The missile had not hit him dead-on, but had exploded on the street before him. This is why instead of a blown open chest he was simply suffering from shellshock.

Then he saw his reflection in a broken mirror.

"WHAT THE-!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"It works, it works!" Chang giggled, dancing giddily. "Now, one more test, then, to the online auction!" And the best of all, no one could see him!

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Damn!" Bob muttered, rubbing his eye. "I would sneeze at the last moment! I wonder what he was aiming at… Did you see what he shot?"

"Ook." Elmo didn't know either- he had sneezed as well.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Up in the air, Beast Boy and Angel were dog fighting, if such a term could be used. Angel was quite good at hand-to-hand combat, and her wings made excellent improvised weapons, being strong enough to lift her body. The fact that they could grow in size was a huge help, as well.

But Beast Boy was much more nimble, using his shape-shifting to alter his form to fit the need. Such as when he flew at Angel as a humming bird, but shifted to a gorilla to throw a primate punch. This tactic, however, had minimal success, as Angel would simply fly away in the nick of time, and the green ape, lacking wings, would fall, forcing Beast Boy to swap back to flying animal.

_That's not working, _Beast Boy thought, becoming a gander. _I need to try something else- I know!_

Beast Boy weaved in and away from Angel's wings, flying right up to her head. But instead of becoming a larger beast, he shifted into a woodpecker. He then began to peck at the side of Angel's helmet with rapid-fire precision. This proved to be a double-edged sword though. While the pecks gave Angel a headache, they also gave Beast Boy a mouth-ache.

"Gah!" Angel cried, swatting the green woodpecker away.

"Geh!" Beast Boy groaned, feeling his beak throb. Now he remembered why woodpeckers stuck to trees and not steel helmets.

BZRP!

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Terra was helping against the Cybots when, for no conscious reason, looked up, and Beast Boy fall from the space of sky he was fighting Angel in.

"Beast Boy!" She exclaimed in alarm.

Scapel, having much better hearing, was the first to register Terra's cry and looked up to see what she was seeing. And with reflexes and leaping power much better than humans, jumped up and caught the falling human.

However, when they landed, Scapel noticed that he had not caught Beast Boy at all. Instead of a green human with pointy ears and fangs, he had in his arms a Caucasian boy with blond hair, normal ears, and no fangs. But he _was_ wearing Beast Boy's uniform, which was perplexing…

The human coughed. "Dude…what happened…?"

Scapel's ears began to twitch wildly. "Beast Boy!?"

Meanwhile, Robin landed near the entrance of an alleyway when he saw a face he hadn't seen for quite a while.

"Savior!?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Later, the Titans were back in the Tower. Bob and Elmo were there too, having followed them from the shopping street. After it had become apparent that something about Beast Boy and Savior changed, things had gotten a bit hectic. The HIVE 5 had escaped in the chaos, but at least the Cybots were destroyed. And, damages to the general vicinity aside, the teen villains had more or less accomplished nothing…

…Though a man running the T-shirt shop claimed some of his merchandise had been stolen.

Presently, Gar and Noel were in Scapel's examining room, while the Titans' medic checked them out. Off to the side, Robin, Raven and Cyborg were awaiting his report. And even more off to the side, Bob and Elmo played with the X-ray machine.

"…And, as best as I can tell," Scapel said, checking a sample of Gar's blood. "There's nothing strange about either of you. You're both 100% human."

"But that's what's strange," Cyborg commented, "Neither of them are human. Not completely. BB's genes were always bouncing around, what with the shape-shifting. And Noel…"

The Titans looked at the other Titan beside Gar. Instead of the spikey-white haired teen with the mean glare and the meaner scowl, they saw a more…_normal _young man, a bit older than Robin, with his red hair tied in a short ponytail. The accident that mutated his nerves into the Shimmer had also transformed his body, one that he stayed in as much as possible. But now that was impossible.

He was Noel Collins, before becoming Savior.

Before Shimmer.

Nigel nodded. "I know, Noel's DNA was much different from a normal human's, but now it's back to the way it should be. For both of them."

Robin looked at the transformed Titans. "Do any of know what happened?"

"Dude, I don't know!" Gar cried, "All I know is, one minute I'm fighting Angel, next I'm taking the fast trip down!"

Robin shook his head. It was obvious Gar wouldn't be any help. This whole situation was clearly getting to him, and Tim knew why. Garfield Logan had been quite young when his parent's improvised cure for Sakutia gave him his powers, and thus had grown used to the idea of always having them. The concept of not being able to turn into a bird to fly up and reach that top shelf was probably a bit jarring.

So, Robin decided to take a chance with Noel. "What about you, Noel?"

Noel shook his head. "No, I don't…wait. Before Gizmo's missile blew me into that alley, I got hit by something. Some kind of light."

Robin, Cyborg, and Raven raised an eyebrow, while Scapel's ears twitched. There was something different about Noel's voice…where his vocal chords affected by said missile?

In the meantime, it was clear that neither Noel or Gar would be able to provided much help for the mystery.

On that thought, an idea occurred to Raven. "Bob," She asked, turning to Magician, looking at his hand through the X-ray. "Did you see anything?"

"Sorry, kid," Bob replied, "I wasn't paying too much attention to your little scrap. My focus was occupied by some weirdo with a gun."

"What?"

Bob became aware that he had the Titans' full attention. "Uh, yeah. Some Chinese guy in a bad suit was messing around with this…cannon-thing on the roof across from the café."

"What did he look like?" Robin asked quickly. If it was who he thought it was…

"Eh, gimme a minute, I'll show you." Bob pulled his hand out from the X-ray and gave a nearby computer screen a tap. The screen filled with static for a minute, before becoming clear enough to show a picture of a man _very _familiar to the Titans…

"Professor Chang." Raven noted.

"Aww, man! I knew it!" Cyborg groaned, "One of his crazy ray guns again!"

"Did you see where he got to?" Robin asked Bob. It was a long shot, but maybe…

"See who?" Bob asked, confused.

Everyone facefaulted.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"All right, Titans, listen up!" Robin said in the main room. The entire group, along with Pantha and Baby, turned to him.

"I'm going to go track down Prof. Chang's hideout," Robin explained, "While I'm gone, Cyborg and Raven are in charge. Can you handle that?" He asked the aforementioned Titans.

" There's nothing we can't handle." Cyborg assured the Teen Wonder.

Robin nodded. "Good. Be ready for action if there's trouble. I'm sure someone will try something once word gets out we're down two members. Yes, Noel?"

"What if someone tries something _here_?" Noel asked, "If a villain with a grudge attacks while the rest of the team is out dealing with an alert, Gar and I will be unprotected."

"You won't be unprotected," Robin told Noel, "I'm assigning three members to stay here and act as bodyguards- Gauntlet, Pantha, and Wildebeest."

"What? Why?" Rob asked, sounding pained.

"Pantha and Wildebeest are more familiar with the Tower than they are with the city, and Gauntlet, this is your punishment for the backwash incident." Robin said sternly.

"Sounds fine to me." Noel shrugged.

Everyone stared.

"What?" Noel asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"You…you're _okay _with it?" Terra asked, amazed.

"Why not?" Noel replied, "Robin has a point. It'd be more effective for Pantha and Wildebeest to remain here, and Gauntlet _does _need to be punished for the backwash incident."

"Let me get this straight…" Rob said slowly, "We've been condemned to spend the day within the same building together…and you're _not _pissing, moaning, or just plain demanding to the gods what you did to deserve this?"

Noel sighed. While it the whole situation _was _a bit of a pain, it wasn't that bad, was it? "No."

Silence.

"Oh my god, Noel's been replaced with a pod person! Get him!"

Chaos ensued, and would have gone on for a several minutes until a deep, yet light, voice bellowed, "SILENCE!"

The Titans ceased their silliness- Pantha, Gauntlet, Wildebeest trying to get at Noel, Robin, Cyborg and Terra trying to defend, with Scapel and Raven watching- and stared at Bob.

Bob took that as an invitation to speak. "Raven, I have job for you to perform as my student."

"What? Now?" Raven couldn't believe it. With everything that's happened, Bob wanted to give her _another _problem?

Bob snapped his fingers and Elmo hopped off his shoulder and onto Raven's.

"I'm going to Lewis-Carrol Croquet Tournament, and I need you to watch Elmo while I'm gone," Bob explained, "It'll only be a few hours. I should be back before sunset. If not, I'll call."

"Bob, this is ridiculous." Raven said.

"Oh, no it's not," Bob assured her, "I'm sure I can think up an even more demeaning chore for you, apprentice."

"Why can't you bring Elmo with you?" Raven asked.

"He's a bit skittish around flamingos since the last tourney." Bob replied.

Everyone sweatdropped. _Flamingos?_

Raven tried one last tactic. "Bob, with all that's going on, do you really think I can handle _monkey-sitting _as well?"

"Of course I do," Bob chuckled, "Well, see ya!"

Bob vanished, but not in a puff of smoke. Instead, bits and pieces of his body faded from sight, leaving only an enigmatic grin floating in the air. Then, that vanished as well.

"I don't know whether to be annoyed that he's doing this," Raven commented dryly, "Or flattered that he thinks I can handle it."

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back in Chang's lair, screens showed footage of Beast Boy and Savior's transformations.

"…As you can see, my new Anti Mutation Pulse Ray works perfectly," Chang finished, to an audience of supervillains (_rich_ supervillains) watching and listening over an arsenal of communication devices. "Since over 75% of the world's heroes gain their powers from one freak mutation or another, I'm certain you are all eager to obtain an AMP Ray for yourselves. We shall start the bidding for the first Ray gun at…"

As Chang continued his pitch, he didn't notice that two villains had signed off.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Back at Titans Tower, the Titans were busy doing…stuff. Robert had wandered off, to call Yohko presumably, while Baby was in Starfire's room playing with Kory. Nigel and Vic were playing Megamonkeys 5 on the Gamestation, while Pantha watched, and Tara and Raven were busy trying to talk their respective boyfriends through this turn of events.

"So, how do you feel?" Raven asked Noel.

"I'm…not sure," Noel admitted after taking a deep breath, "I mean, I'm worried what will happen now that I'm human, completely human, but on the other hand I feel…"

"What do you feel?"

"…clean. And I don't know why."

Raven had an idea. But she didn't know how to say it. Off to the side, Tara tried to light up Gar, who seemed far more crestfallen about the loss of powers than Noel was.

"…Y'know, you look pretty cute as a blond," Tara noted, smiling. "I bet I'm gonna have to beat the other girls off with a stick."

Gar's mope did not lessen. "What am I gonna do, Tara? Being a superhero's all I'm good at! And only 'cause of the shapeshifting! What am I gonna do?"

This was worse than she thought. Usually the idea of being a chick magnet did wonders for Gar's spirit, much to her annoyance.

"Well…" She said as she wracked her brains for an idea, "I guess you can go back to school."

"School."

"You know, pick up where you left off." Tara continued helpfully.

"…Tara, I was six when I went green."

They both thought about it.

_**(SCHOOLTIME FANTASY)**_

"_Mr. Logan," Mrs. Wormwood said sternly, "Would you mind telling the class where you've been this past ten-plus years?"_

_Gar Logan, oldest student in the first grade, fidgeted in his undersized desk. _

"_Fighting for truth, justice, and pizza, ma'am." He said in a tiny voice._

_The other kids giggled._

_**(END FANTASY)**_

"Uh…no, not going back to school." Gar decided, going back into a full mope.

Tara frowned. She needed to distract him from this problem, and now.

"**Who are you?"**

Both blondes jumped and whirled around. Black Odd stood behind them, apparently years of lurking around Twilight Town had given him the world's quietest footsteps.

The silent walker looked at Gar for a few seconds before looking at Tara. **"Tara, who is he?"**

"Blacky, this is Gar, only…not so green." Tara answered.

Black Odd stared at Gar again. The ex-shapeshifter began to fidget under those twin moons called eyes. Didn't he ever blink…?

"**Garfield, why aren't you green?" **Black Odd asked.

"Mm, this is what I looked like before getting my powers," Gar explained awkwardly, "See, when I was little, I got…sick," How could you explain the intricacies of the disease and the side-effect of the so-called cure? "And the medicine I took gave turned me green and…other stuff." He finished lamely. There was something about Black Odd's stare that could derail a good story.

The staring one did not answer. Tara and Gar could visualize the gears turning as he digested the info.  
**"I thought medicine kept people from turning green." **Black Odd said at last.

And, with the force of a dam breaking, Gar and Tara cracked up.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"So, because I gotta stay here and play babysitter, I can't meet you at the arcade," Rob said over the phone, "Robin says it's my punishment for the backwash incident…yeah, another one." Rob then brightened up. "Hey! Why don't you come here? I'll just rig the Tower's security so the doors open right up for you!" A pause. "Great, see ya!"

Rob hung up, grinning.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In another part of the Tower, Black Odd played tic-tac-toe against Wildebeest.

"**Pantha told me you and her don't know where you came from." **Black Odd stated.

Wildebeest nodded.

Black Odd was silent. Then he said, **"I don't know where I came from either."**

Wildebeest reached over and patted Black Odd on the shoulder. He was nothing if not sympathetic to the woes of others.

Then the alarm rang.

The Titans, both active and de-powered, huddled around the computer read-out.

"It's the HIVE 5," Cyborg said, "Looks like they're attacking the Waynetech building this time."

Cyborg stood up and pointed dramatically. "Teen Titans, go!"

There was a pause.

"Cyborg, the Waynetech installation is in the other direction." Starfire noted.

Cyborg groaned and reversed his stance. "Titans, go _that way!_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Robin stood on the roof of the building opposite of the rooftop café Bob had mentioned. Chang always changed hideouts after each caper he got involved in, and was smart enough not to leave clues of where he went after leaving one. If he was going to find Chang, the place of his last sighting was the best place to start.

But, at a first glance, it looked like Chang had been just as careful about leaving traces as he did when changing labs.

At a first glance.

Robin called upon every ounce of brainpower he had developed under Batman's tutelage and on his own, and began his search.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In Titans Tower, Gar had gotten over his depression by playing Hyper Bash Siblings with Pantha, Black Odd and Wildebeest were playing checkers, and Noel was taking a quick trip to his room for a good book…until he realized that his books were all on war strategy, and he had read them before. With that in mind, he changed his direction to Raven's room. He knew Raven's choice in literature was a bit…deep, even for him, but for some reason he didn't feel like he had to relearn Sin Tzu's methods. He also knew that Bob, untrustworthy weirdo that he was, had loaned a book to Raven that she described as 'different', and that he was to never read under any circumstances. This was because tomes like the Methodiaslotuq contained things man were not meant to know, and only girls could even look at the cover without having their eyeballs turn into mold. A fact Noel knew nothing about.

Noel was saved from this fate by chance; the chances of him meeting a skipping Robert Candid down the hall were a million to one.

"You seem pretty happy for a guy who was complaining about being on baby-sitting duty." Noel remarked, his eyebrow raised.

"Well," Rob began, subconsciously noting the softer tone in Noel's voice, "I was planning to go to the prison with Yohko and make fun of the convicts, but since I'm stuck here, I had a better idea. I'm gonna give Yohko the grand tour of this place!" Rob grinned. "She's always wanted to see a superhero's base."

Noel blinked. "So, you invited your girlfriend over?"

"What girlfriend?" Rob asked, genuinely confused.

Noel stared. A part of him wondered why Robert Candid, a Titan who bemoaned a lack of love life more than anyone, could not fully grasp the concept of a childhood friend evolving into a romantic interest, while another groaned and muttered, "Right, _that _kind of relationship."

And so, Noel said, "Never mind. Just don't show her anything private."

Now Rob was even more confused. "You're not going to go on a rant about security issues, and the usual paranoia crap? You usually do, right about now."

"Why?" Noel sighed, "It's not like anyone listens to me anymore. Bob, Elmo, that thing Terra brought in…it feels like nobody takes my opinions seriously."

Rob shrugged. "Lately, most of your so-called opinions are born out of vindictive paranoia and general lack of faith in humanity. But they're your opinions, and you're welcome to 'em."

There was a low rumble, which they both took to be the opening of the Tower's big fancy doors.

"That must be Yohko. Gotta go!" Rob yelled, running off. After a minute, he run back in and gave Noel a pamphlet. "Oh, and you should read this, in case your powers don't return."

Rob ran out again, leaving Noel with the pamphlet, What To Do When You're Not A Superhero.

_Is it stupidity that causes him to make these, genius…or both? _Noel thought, reading Section 1: The Mental Phases of Loss.

The sound of some crashing, drawing Noel's attention away from the result of Rob's genre-savvy sillyness. Then his communicator rang. Noel answered it. It was set on the public setting…

"It's not Yohko!" Rob's voice rang out, before the transmission was cut off.

"That can't be good…" Noel muttered. He began to run towards the entrance when the doors at the end of the hall were smashed open…just as Noel was about to open them. The end result was that Noel was knocked back several yards before rolling to a halt at Pantha and Wildebeest's feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he could just dizzily see Gar peeking out from behind a corner.

"What is it?" Pantha asked, helping Noel up.

"I don't…no." Noel trailed off when he saw the pair walking in. He wished he couldn't, but he did.

Madam Rouge of the Brotherhood of Evil.

Jack Djinn, the strangling murderer, Asphyxiation._**(Property of Legend Maker)**_

"You…you're alive?" Noel stammered, horrified. It couldn't be...

_**(This bit was conceived by Legend Maker)**_

During the Brotherhood of Evil's assault on teenage heroes worldwide, Savior had been among those captured and frozen before the counterattack. His Shimmer had allowed him to the discussion among the villains what they wanted to do with their captives, and by the time Mas and Menos unfreezed the Titans, he was _angry_. So angry that when he the first thing he did was set the Brotherhood's base to self-destruct, unaware that the Titans had decided 'what was good for the goose was good for the gander' and had frozen the most of the bad guys who had not already escaped. This meant that because of the base's destruction, the Titans could not bring as many villains with them to arrest. Among those who had been left frozen in the collapsing base was the core Brotherhood…and Jack.

Even though the entire Titans group had been angry at Savior, wanted him kicked off the team, arrested…Savior refused to admit that he was wrong.

Until now.

"No worries, mate," Jack chuckled sadistically, "We ain't mad at what ya did in Paris."

"You're not?" Pantha asked, holding Noel steady. He was shaking something awful.

"Of course not," Rouge shrugged, her accent noticeable but unwritten. "After all, if you hadn't destroyed our base, we'd be frozen- in jail."

"But the chances of anyone surviving were a million to one!" Noel cried out in spite of himself.

"That's how _everyone _survived," Madam Rouge said, smiling cruelly. "You have our thanks, _Savior_."

"Everyone…?" Noel repeated, horrified. If even half of what Rouge said was true, then supervillains uncaptured at the Brotherhood's base were running loose…

And it was all his fault.

"If you're not here for that," Pantha said, pushing Noel back and stepping forward, "Then why are you here?"

"We heard that he and another were feeling under the weather," Rouge replied, "And even an idiot would not ignore such a perfect opportunity- Beast Boy."

There was a shriek and the pitter-patter of the all-American chicken making a getaway from the corner. Madam Rouge snickered maliciously and gave chase by stretching and curving her body around Pantha and Wildebeest. Wildebeest growled and charged after Rouge, the floor shaking with each stomp.

"Go get her, Baby," Pantha said softly, worried. Wildebeest lost to Rouge once- would he be victorious this time?

A chocking noise pulled her attention back towards the front. To her shock, Noel- by his neck- was being held up at least four feet in the air by- and she had to rub her eyes in the traditional manner- two tendrils of some black material coming out of the stumps where Jack Djinn's hands used to be. She had never known what happened to his hands, but judging from the expression of vengeful glee on the psychopath's face, she now had a pretty good idea.

_Collins, is there anyone you _haven't _PO'd? _Pantha thought, and took a grappler's stance. Then, in one smooth motion, she swung up her hands in a chop, cutting through the Grimmer _**(The name of Jack's energy thread)**_. Both Jack and Noel fell to the floor- Noel gasping as he tried to pull the Grimmer-noose off his neck, and Jack screaming as unfamiliar pain surged through his body on its merry way to his brain. The Australian bellowed a variety of curses that, combined with his accent, were both illegible and unprintable.

"How," gasped Noel as Pantha tore off his noose, "Did you do that? I could never…"

"My claws…" explained Pantha, holding up a hand toward his face. It was glowing ever –so-slightly. "…can cut through anything."

"Goddamn *#&%#!"

Pantha and Noel looked at Asphyxiation, who had gotten over the pain.

"I normally go for the _little _birdies," Jack hissed, forming a Grimmer-mace in one hand and a Grimmer-scissors in the other. "But I think I can stretch it for an ostrich like you!!"

"Go," Pantha told Noel, "I'll hold him off."

Noel didn't like leaving Pantha alone with someone so dangerous, but he knew if he stayed he would only get in the way. He took off.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Down in the main entrance, Rob lay against the wall, his body covered with signs that someone had tried to kill him. And 'someone' would have succeeded if it wasn't for him activating his Gauntlet in time to block the most fatal blows.

"Ohhh, my head…" Rob groaned, getting up. "What happened…?" The last thing he remembered were seeing a pair of zombies…

The crashes and screams echoing from elsewhere in the tower lifted the haze and snapped him to the crisis at hand.

"Oh crap! Villains in the tower!" Gauntlet yelled, and charged off.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, Gar was not having a good day. Despite the lead he had on the exotic assassin, Madam Rouge caught up with the de-greened Titan, and was now taking her sweet time in destroying him. With him in one hand, Rouge swung him around like weight on a flail, banging him against the wall. This had the double-effect of churning his stomach and leaving his body bloody and bruised.

"Oh, come now," Rouge said unsympathetically, holding Gar up to her face from upside down. (He was upside –down when she held him up to her, I mean) "Don't tell me that is all you can take as a powerless human. Or are you that pathetic?"

For an answer, Gar took a swing at her. While the punch connected, Rouge's elastic body absorbed most of the boy.

"You _are _that pathetic." Rouge decided, and flung Gar down, where he bounced down the hall a bit.

"This has been fun, but now I think we should end this- for good," Rouge remarked, and pulled out a dagger. It was dripping with something that went _hiss _as it hit the ground. "I couldn't find any samples of Sakutia, but this scorpion venom should do the trick."

Before Rouge could act on her intended murder, something rammed into her from behind. The dagger went flying from her hand and into a conveniently uncovered vent.

"Wildebeest!" Gar cried at the appearance of his savior. (No, not that one! This one is MUCH nicer!)

"You again…" Rouge sneered, getting back up. "I suppose you forgot what happened _last time!_"

Rouge flung an elongated punch at Wildebeest, sending him back a step. But before she could retract her arm in time, Wildebeest grabbed it, and tossed her overhead. Rouge easily adjusted herself in mid-air and landed on her feet.

"Go!" Wildebeest ordered, and as Gar fled, he cracked his knuckles. No, he had not forgotten.

That's why he would not lose.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

_Pantha vs Asphyxiation_

Djinn used the Grimmer as a base to launch a flying kick at Pantha, but the heroine caught him by the feet. No worries for Jack, though, with the Grimmer still in the floor, he flipped himself over to slam Patha behind him.

"Gotcha now, big bird!" Jack crowed, sending a Grimmer-blade at Pantha. Luckily, Pantha was able to get her bearings in time to slash at the Grimmer again, sending jolts of pain directly into Jack's screwed-up head. With his attention occupied by the horrible sensation doing the tango on his brain, Pantha rushed up and delivered a mighty punch directly in his face. Unlike Madam Rouge, Djinn had no elasticity to absorb the blow with, and was sent flying.

"#&%(#!" Jack screamed, "This ain't fair! Birdies aren't supposed to be this hard to kill!"

"As you said before, _senor,_" Pantha retorted mockingly, flexing her claws. "I am an ostrich."

While this wasn't the most snappy taunt in the Never Ending Battle Between Good and Evil, it had the effect Pantha wanted, which was to throw Jack's earlier words back at him, and get him good and riled up.

"Shut up!" Bellowed Jack. This whole wretched business was becoming too much of a pain for him. When he had heard that Savior, who had 'stolen his talent' _**(See Legend Maker's Black and White)**_, was de-powered, he assumed his revenge would be simple- go in, kill the brat, and laugh afterwards at the bar. And while he expected one or two Titans to get in the way, he assumed that they would be easy to handle. But he had never expected to meet anyone who could cut through his talent before! That just wasn't fair!

Growling, Jack saw inspiration from above. Sending his Grimmer into the ceiling, he brought it down on top of Pantha!

"Ack!" Pantha exclaimed as the tile, plaster and metal rained on her. From under her inopportune burial she heard some muffled, gleefully sadistic laughter- Jack's- and realized that she was in more trouble than she thought. With razor-sharp reflexes befitting a cat, she acted.

Jack, meanwhile, jabbed the pile with multiple Grimmer-spears- then stopped. He couldn't hear any sign of a cat yowling. With a confused grunt, he shoveled the debris away. Under it he realized why he could not hear Pantha's expected cries of pain- she wasn't there. Instead, there was a hole in the floor, big enough for a person to fit through.

"Ah, crikey." Jack grumbled, a bit disappointed. Ah well. It didn't matter. Now to find Savior…

"**Who are you?"**

Jack jolted as he saw the…thing, like a shadow walking upright with twin-moon eyes appearing out of nowhere. His nerves already shot due to the repeated slashing of his Grimmer, Jack speared the newcomer several times, knocking it over. With his heart pounding from the encounter, Jack took off in search of Savior.

Minutes after Jack left, Black Odd sat up, and rubbed where Jack had stabbed him. There were no wounds.

"**Why did he do that?" **Black Odd asked Silkie. Silkie gurgled in response.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, Noel was encountering some difficulty. After fleeing the Pantha-Asphyxiation match, he tried to hail the other Titans on his communicator, only to find that the batteries had run out. He then remembered that he kept some spares in his room, as well as a few spare weapons- including a taser. He would especially need that against Jack's whose Grimmer could conduct electricity. However, this path was set with an obstacle of his own design. In his paranoia and distrust, Noel had locked his room with a TITANTIUM lock, and the only way to open it was with a key, password, handprint and voiceprint. While the first two were easy enough to deal with, he found that the last were only passable as Savior.

HANDPRINT NOT A MATCH. The computerized lock told Noel.

"What!? Are you kidding me!?" Noel exclaimed in shock. He realized that because he had spent so much time in his Savior-mode (He could switch between the two), he had never programmed the lock to accept his _human_ form. Who knew that the two forms had separate hand prints?

"Errgh…" Noel moaned, half growling half groaning.

VOICEPRINT NOT A MATCH.

"Do I sound that different as Savior?" Noel asked sardonically.

YES, YOU DO.

Noel slammed his fist against the wall in sad frustration. _I've got to get to Ops and call the others!_

Noel heard some crashing, which he took to be his cue to leave. A few minutes later, Gauntlet charged down the hall.

"I thought I heard something!" the goofball cried out, his mind in that rare state of seriousness. And with that, he rushed off- in the opposite direction Noel went.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In the main room, Elmo was making gamer history. With his prehensile toes, the monkey was operating both player 1 _and _player 2 by using the second controller with his feet.

However, this new form of double-play was interrupted by the arrival of Gar.

"Ook?" Elmo asked, pausing the game.

"Elmo! The Tower…! Bad guys…! Attack…!" was Gar could say as he tried to talk and gasp for breath. He really wished he hadn't left his communicator in the fridge.

After taking a minute to get his wits back, Gar ran over to the computer. He had to contact the other Titans!

However, before he could push the 'call' button, the knife fell from an overhead vent and landed on the keyboard. The venom seeped into the circuitry, shorting the system out.

"NOOO!" Gar wailed in despair. Then a thought occurred to him. "How did that happen, anyway? The knife went down a vent two floors below."

"Ook." Elmo shrugged.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Yohko entered Titans Tower with some trepidation- the big doors had been torn off, and there was a familiar imprint of a body in a wall. Not to mention some shredded crates.

_I wonder if they're under attack,_ Yohko thought, _That happens to superheroes, sometimes._

As Yohko navigated the halls, she cautiously called out, "Hello? Rob-_Kun_?" No answer, but she could distinctly hear crashes somewhere within the Tower.

Then Pantha fell down from the ceiling.

"KYAAA!" Yohko shrieked. After getting over shock, she asked, "Are you all right?"

Pantha grunted, and stood up. She rubbed her head.

"I'm fine…just had a bad fall." The cat-woman replied. Another crash caught her attention. "Gotta go!"

Pantha took off, with Yohko running after her.

"_Matte!_ What's going on?!" Yohko hollered.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Jack was not having fun. While Madam Rouge had the excuse of being preoccupied by Wildebeest, Jack no explanation for being unable to kill Savior beyond "I got lost in the Tower."

He always assumed that Titans Tower's floor plan had been a basic one, but from all the twists and turns he spent the last five minutes taking, he wondered if the architect had one too many while drawing up the schematics.

What he didn't know was that while Titans Tower _did _at one point have a normal layout, the constant rushes of magic, caused by Raven's powers going amuck, Mother Mae-Eye invasion, Trigon's coming, and the Lord of the Night's ceremony among others, the space within Titans Tower had twisted, bent, and warped to the point that any map of the current floor plan would make M.C Escher need a go lie-down.

One might think it strange, but anyone familiar with the houses and homes of the magical would just shrug and break out the headache medicine.

Jack, of course, was not familiar with the houses and homes of the magic, and had no headache medicine, so there was nothing that could dissuade his aggravation- until he found a door marked 'RAVEN'.

"Huh?" Jack mused, and poked his head in through the miraculously unlocked. In the room he could see dark masks, statues of little birds, a tiki idol…there was definitely an gothic-occult theme here.

Jack had never graduated at the top of his class, but he was smart enough to realize that this must be Raven's room. And so, with sick laugh, he scurried into the closet. To hell with this crazy chase, he would let Savior come to him!

"You'll be sorry…" The tiki whispered.

A minute passed.

"JOIN US." A dark voice growled from within the closet.

"AAAUUUUGGHH!!" Jack screamed, and fled from the room with such speed that he knocked the door of its hinges.

"THEY NEVER WANT TO JOIN." The gargoyle painting sighed.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In the main room, Gar was royally freaking out. Due to the unannounced arrival of Rouge's poisoned knife and its impact on the keyboard, the Titans main computer was out of commission. "What am I gonna do, Elmo!" Gar shrieked. "How're we gonna call the other Titans?! Madam Rouge and Jack could be up here any minute!"

Elmo raised an eyebrow. What was all this 'we' stuff? _He _didn't have a pair of villains out to get him. Still, Gar's frantic babbling was getting on his nerves, and more importantly, distracting him from getting the high score. So, he did what any intelligent simian would do and pointed out the obvious: the phone that was obviously sitting on the kitchen counter, that is.

"Dude, that's brilliant!" Gar cried, relieved. He would just call Cy on his public line!

However, before he could get within five steps, a stretched-out arm snatched the phone.

"Oh, did you think you could call for help?" Madam Rouge asked sarcastically, "I'm sorry, but you're call has been disconnected. You'll have to try again," Rouge smiled venomously, "That is, if you can."

Gar gulped. "Um, weren't you fighting Wildebeest?"

Rouge shrugged. "He could not defeat me before- what made you think he could now?"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

"Wildebeest!" Pantha cried in alarm.

"What happened?" Yohko asked, worried.

Wildebeest could not answer either query, as his head was stuck in the wall. It was a very demeaning situation.

The two girls quickly pulled the animalistic Titan out from his precarious predicament. As Wildebeest shook bits of plaster, Pantha asked, "What happened to Madam Rouge? Where's Beast Boy?!"

Wildebeest pointed. Getting up, he ran off, Pantha close behind.

"This place isn't safe!" the catwoman yelled to Yohko, "Get out of here!"

Yohko frowned. As much as she wished, she wasn't just some J-pop girl. She was a student- by birthright, if anything else- of _Kami No Bacchi_, the Punishment of the Gods. And shewasn't leaving.

"Not without Rob-_kun._" She said firmly, and ran off in a different direction.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Jack Djinn had run a collective two miles before calming down. At the moment, his brain, twisted though it is, was busy telling the rest of his body that the little encounter with the gargoyle painting in Raven's closet _didn't happen_. He just got bored with waiting for Savior and went back to look for him, that's all.

Yeah, that was it.

Just as Jack's heart rate slowed to a reasonable level, he resumed his sick smile.

Then a piece of the wall fell on him.

CRASH!

"Doors take too long!" Gauntlet announced, not noticing Jack under the rubble as he ran off, on his hectic search for action. Minutes later, Jack emerged.

"I hate this place!" He screamed at the world in generally, and ran after Gauntlet. He would have caught up with him too, except he ran into a familiar face.

"**Hello." **Black Odd greeted cautiously. He remembered that Jack was the one who attacked him.

Jack blanched at the sight of the creature. "Didn't I kill you earlier!?" He screamed, now hysterical.

"**No." **Black Odd replied. After all, if Jack had killed him, he would be dead. And if he was dead, he wouldn't be able to walk and talk. And since he could move about, he wasn't dead. Which meant that Jack didn't kill him.

Before he could explain this, Jack loped his head off with the Grimmer.

"Well, I did now!" Jack screamed, and ran off. After he left, something strange happened. Black Odd's head, which rolled away, disintegrated. Black Odd then sat up and rubbed his head.

"**Ow." **He said to Silkie, who crawled up beside him.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Up in the main room, Madam Rouge was about to finish Gar off when salvation came in the form of a monkey's magic. While Rouge's attention was diverted to holding the poisoned knife over Gar's neck, Elmo traced some runes into the floor with his spit.

"Any last words?" Rouge asked sadistically as Gar struggled to get free- the villain had her right arm wrapped around his body. In her left hand was the knife.

Gar's response was decidedly unbecoming for a young hero.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Rouge asked, raising an eyebrow. She stretched her left hand up so that the knife's handle was touching the ceiling. Just before she could bring it down though, a fireball struck her in the back. In her pain, she loosened her grip on Gar, who took that moment to pull himself out of danger. He made a dive for the phone, but the knife fell onto the phone, damaging it.

"Ahh! No!" Gar cried in alarm, "What am I, cursed!?"

"Ook!"

Gar took that for, 'What are you, stupid? Run, you fool!' grabbed Elmo and cut out. Running down the hall, he heard the faint sounds of Madam Rouge getting ready to continue the chase. Thinking quickly, he dove into a nearby closet.

"Okay, I've got to think…" Gar panted, clutching Elmo to his tummy. "Madam Rouge is out there, I don't have my communicator, phone and computer's offline, so I can't call the others-" Gar suddenly saw a bright spot in this horrible mess. "Dude, that's it! When Cyborg's wrist-thingy picks up that the Tower's computer is out, he'll send someone back! All I have to do is hold out till then!"

"Ook." This was monkey for, 'If you can last that long, now stop squeezing.'

There was a knock on the door. Both apes froze.

"I know you are in there," Rouge's seductively sinister voice wafted in through the keyhole, "Come out and face me."

Gar and Elmo exchanged looks. Elmo's said, "Any bright ideas, blondie?" while Gar's said, "Oh no! _Now _what do I do!?"

Then Gar noticed, on the floor, a bucket of paint. Green paint.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Rouge tapped her foot impatiently. While she was certainly strong enough to rip the closet door off its hinges on her own, she waited for the sole purpose of intimidating Beast Boy. There was a dark charm to forcing the little brat out through fear. And more importantly, she waited because allowing him to come out freely would be an act of surrender- his admission of defeat, and willingness to accept his fate.

She heard something that sounded like soft splash.

"You took too long, Rouge!" Beast Boy yelled from within the closet, "My powers are back now, so catch me if you can!"

The door cracked open, and a green blur- that Rouge could just barely make out as a monkey- zipped out and away. She raised an eyebrow at the green footprints it left behind. Then, she ripped the closet door open and looked down at the terrified blond.

"Next time, you might want to let the paint dry out first." She told him.

Gar gulped. "Oops." He said in a tiny voice.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Prof. Chang was very happy. So far, the bids for his AMP Ray had reached up to 5.4 million dollars.

And they were still going! _Everyone _wanted his Ray! Not just to use against heroes, but against rival villains as well. Competition was tough in the world of villainy. And there was no such thing as 'honor among thieves' regardless of what a few romantics thought. It was every man for himself.

"?" Chang jabbered excitedly, proving that an auctioneer should not have a Chinese accent. "?"

"Chang," One villain interrupted, "If you don't stop that, we will hunt you down and have you shot."

_Spoilsport._ "Oh, all right," Chang sighed, "In any case, do we have any other bids?"

Before any of the villains could respond, the connection broke.

"No!" Chang cried, and began to pound at his computer console. "Nonono! Not now! What happened!"

Chang quickly inspected the computer's wires, checking all the connections. So far, nothing seemed unhooked…

Then he saw the power cord…unplugged.

"All right," Chang grumbled angrily, "Who is the _doofus_ that tripped over the power cord?"

"I did."

Chang froze. He knew that voice…

Turning around confirmed his fears. Robin.

"I'm interested in a de-powering ray," Robin said firmly, "I get discounts for being a frequent customer, _right?_"

Chang gulped.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Yohko, unstopped and unguided, ran throughout the halls of Titans Tower, tirelessly and carelessly looking for her true lo- I mean, her best friend in the whole wide world.

"Rob-_kun! _Where are you?" She called out, cutting around a corner. "Can you hear me?" _What's with this building? It feels so much bigger on the inside than it did on the outside!_

From the shadows, Jack Djinn felt his eyes tear up in happiness, though his machismo stopped him from actually crying. At last! A normal girl! A sweet little birdy he could kill with ease! After fighting that ostrich and seeing that gargoyle- not to mention that thing that wouldn't die- A quick murder would be just the thing to release some of the stress he had developed while in the Tower.

"Hey there, little birdy…" He said cruelly, preparing a Grimmer-noose.

Yohko turned around, saw Jack's grinning form come out from the dark, and did as expected.

"Kyaaaa! _Hentai!_" She shrieked, and swung her arm.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Outside Titans Tower, a passing fishing boat saw the Tower shake for brief, but all-encompassing moment. The fishermen went back to their lines, chalking it up to just another Titan thing.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

In Cyborg's workshop, Noel finally allowed himself a moment's pause. After what felt like hours of running around the Tower, (Was it him, or was this place getting bigger than it should be?) he could finally get a hold of something to fight with. The armory was off-limits, due to the same security problems he had with his room, but here he could find something _useful. _A wrench or welding torch in the right hands could be pretty good in a fight. While he was hoping for something he could use to call for help, like a spare communicator or one that was being worked on, he wasn't going to be picky at this point. Especially with all of the shaking and screaming felt around the Tower…

CRASH!

Noel jumped and whirled around. To his shock, he found Jack Djinn's prone form lying in the rubble from what used to be a portion of the wall. This shock was such that even though his mind was screaming at him, he did not pick up the very large wrench and brain Jack with it. Instead, he just stood there, staring at the murderous Australian as the psychopath wobbly stood up.

"…Damn it… Not fair… Little birdies shouldn't fight back…" Jack groaned, steadying himself with a Grimmer-crutch.

Then their eyes met.

In an instant, Jack had Noel suspended several feet in the air, held up by an Grimmer-spear. The spear, by a million to one chance, missed Noel's actual body and was simply holding the de-powered youth up by his shirt.

"…_Eerrrgghhh…_" Noel groaned, clutching his side.

…Though it wasn't a _clean _miss. It wasn't a deep cut, but it hurt nonetheless.

Jack was elated. After so much crazyness, he would finally do what he came for; the murder of Savior. Then he would get as far away from this looney bin and back to relative sanity of Arkham. After a moment's thought, he formed a Grimmer-sword with his other hand and took aim.

"Say good-bye, faker…" Jack hissed venomously. But before he could put his vile intent into action, a voice rang out.

"Not so fast!"

Jack and Noel looked to the door…as Gauntlet came crashing in through the other wall.

"No-" Noel held his breath. "-you can't kill him now, not when he's acting nice for a change!" Gauntlet declared.

"Yeah?" Jack asked sarcastically, giving Rob the Evil Eye. "And how're you gonna stop me?"

Gauntlet grinned. "With…this!"

Gauntlet held out a sweater. And not just any sweater. Noel recognized it from one Christmas, as a gift for Beast Boy, from Elasti-Girl of the Doom Patrol. She had knitted it herself, undoubtedly as a form of motherly love. Beast Boy was touched- until he tried it on. He had only worm it long enough to take a picture to send back, and then threw it into his closet, never to be seen again. He had claimed it was too itchy, among other assumed faults.

_But, why the hell does he think it'll help!? _Noel thought desperately.

Grinning wildly, Gauntlet formed a yellow slingshot and loaded the balled-up sweater.

"Take this!" Gauntlet yelled, and fired his projectile. It sailed magnificently through the air…until Jack slashed it with his Grimmer.

_Then…_

"AAAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!" Jack screamed, falling to the ground and convulsing wildly.

"Hey, it worked!" Gauntlet laughed, catching Noel with his artifact.

Noel, however, had no immediate comment. He just stared at Jack until he remembered what else was wrong with the sweater- it had a static cling like no other.

"You beat Jack Djinn with static electricity." Noel said, more to himself than Rob.

Rob gave him a 'Nice-Guy Pose'_**(Property: Kishimoto) **_"That's right!"

…_And after all the trouble I go through nailing him with the subway's rails, _Noel thought, _There's something unfair about that._

But he wasn't going to argue. Not this time. Logic was taking a holiday this afternoon, it seemed.

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

Meanwhile, the end was also approaching for Gar- Madam Rouge was holding him high in the air. She planned on slamming him into the ground so fast and hard that the impact would kill the ex-shapeshifter instantly, leaving him in a bloody, broken heap.

"You put up a commendable resistance," Rouge congratulated as Gar struggled, "But all for naught. Now I end this!"

"Why don't _I _end it!?"

That was all the warning Rouge got before Pantha delivered a powerful uppercut, knocking her back into the main room. Now free from Rouge's grip, Gar fell- into Wildebeest's arms.

"Dude…" Gar groaned, "What kept you?"

Wildebeest snorted. Not his fault this Tower had so many blasted halls.

In front of the TV, Rouge righted herself.

"You stupid brat!" She snarled at the charging Pantha, "Do you really think you can win against me!?"

"I'll take that chance." Pantha replied, preparing her claws.

"_**You won't have to.**_"

Rouge gasped and whirled around, just in time to see Raven appear from a dark portal on the TV screen.

"_**Azarath Metrion Zinthos!**_"

TT-TT-TT-TT-TT-TT

After Raven disposed of Madam Rouge, she went to collect Jack and explained why she came back to the Tower, despite no one sending out a distress call.

(As it turned out, Gauntlet was unable to as his communicator had been broken by Rouge and Jack's forced entry.)

Just as the rest of the Titans were on the verge of busting the HIVE 5, Cyborg detected an anomaly with the main room's computer, caused by the poison from the knife. When no one answered his hails, he sent Raven over to investigate. She had arrived just in time.

Not too long after that, Robin returned, with Prof. Chang's AMP Ray. He learned that while there was no way to reverse the de-mutations, the ray would wear off after a while. So, for a few minutes, it seemed like a happy ending…

Then Bob returned, having come in 3rd at the tournament. He was most displeased with the realization that his monkey had been painted green. Punishment was dealt.

"But it was Beast Boy who did it!" Raven groaned, scrubbing Elmo in a tub of soapy water.

"But I put _you _in charge of monkey handling," Bob said firmly, pouring himself a cup of tea. "You should not neglect your duties, apprentice."

Raven would have retorted, but a screech distracted her.

"If you wouldn't stop fidgeting, Elmo," She growled, "I wouldn't have gotten soap in your eye."

A few minutes passed as Bob looked up at the sky. All three of them were on Titans Tower's roof.

"So," Bob said at last, "That twisty woman said that _all _the baddies you couldn't capture escaped?"

"That's right," Raven nodded, "I wonder if…" She trailed off, frowning.

"Somethin' on your mind?" Bob asked, raising an eyebrow.

"When we were fighting against the Brotherhood of Evil in Paris," Raven said, looking at Bob. "Certain foes we've faced before…the Master of Games, Malchior, Mother Mae-Eye… they were there."

"That's interesting," Bob remarked, "I understood that those three were sealed away."

"That's what worries me," Raven explained, "For those three to appear, the Brain must have had some magical help… I wonder if that same help allowed the Brotherhood to escape… What I sensed felt…" Now she was talking to herself. "So…_familiar._"

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In an underground bunker, a gorilla played chess against a brain in a jar.

Monsieur Mallah, genetically advanced ape, moved his queen forward. "It is a pity about Madam Rouge. Should we go bail her out?"

The Brain, an evil mind who was nothing but, said in his synthesized voice, "…NO. WHEN WE REQUIRE HER SERVICES AGAIN, WE WILL COLLECT HER. IN THE MEANTIME, WE MUST REMAIN OUT OF SIGHT. PAWN TO QUEEN."

Mallah moved the pieces as instructed, then turned to the cloaked figure sitting in a chair against the south wall of the room.

"Is there anything we can provide you with?" He asked, "Is your payment satisfactory?"

The cloaked one, clad in a bloody red, shook his head, as best Mallah could tell. These ultra-mysterious types were hard to figure out.

"No," the hooded one replied, in a voice that seemed both masculine and feminine. "Your group has done more than enough for me. If there is anything _else _I can do…"

"THAT WILL NOT BE NESSESARY," the Brain replied, "WE WILL NO LONGER BE NEEDING YOUR HELP AT THIS TIME. IF THE DAY COMES WHEN WE DO, YOU WILL BE CONTACTED."

"In that case…" the hooded one stood up and sank into the shadows. "Farewell."

Mallah stared at the space where the hooded one used to be. "What a strange fellow," He said at last, turning back to the board. "I still don't know what he wanted."

"HE JOINED OUR ORGANIZATION AS A SECRET PARTNER," the Brain explained, "SO THAT HE COULD DISCOVER WHICH WAS STRONGER, GOOD OR EVIL."

Mallah rubbed his chin. "And what was his conclusion?"

"STALEMATE."

"What?"

"HE TOLD ME THAT NEITHER FORCE COULD ACCHIEVE DOMINANCE OVER THE OTHER," Brain said, "THAT WAS HIS FINDINGS."

Mallah moved a rook. "How kind of him, when you take into account our defeat…"

"PUT THAT OUT OF YOUR MIND, MALLAH. I AM NO LONGER INTERESTED IN GOOD VERSUS EVIL. IT IS TIME WE FOCUSED ON OUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS."

Mallah gasped. "You mean…?"

"YES. I THINK IT IS TIME I TOOK INTEREST IN MY REJUVINATION. LET US SEE WHAT ADVANCES HAVE BEEN MADE IN THE FIELD OF CLONING…"

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A/N: Another one down. I wrote this chapter to explain why villains believe to have 'died' in Legend Maker's canon.

In other news, a reviewer questioned me on casting Tim Drake as Robin when it should be Dick Grayson. Well…go talk to Legend Maker. That's who made the decision, most likely aligning the show _Teen Titans _with the rest of the DCAU. Sorry, it's out of my hands.

Pantha's origins are congruent with the comics, though there are some changes. There, the Wildebeest Society was being controlled by Jericho, who had gone insane. Because that hasn't happened yet in show or Legendsverse, they're just another underground force. Oh, and Wildebeest's 'Baby' form first appeared in Teen Titans Go! #16, so it _is _canon.

The painting that scared Jack Djinn appeared in Legend Maker's fic, Adeste Fideles, go read it!

Angel's name was thought up by Chaltab in the fic Maternal Instincts. Go read it, please!

Mu is the a lost continent, believed to have existed in the Pacific Ocean. Here, it is an underwater civilization like similar to Atlantis. I figured it would be funny if XL, who can survive underwater, would be like an anti-Aqualad in that regard. As far as I know, no one else came up with the name for XL.

See you next time, please review!


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